May Goals

I'm sort of having a brain freeze today.  I don't know why.  Maybe it is the weather that keeps teasing us-- hot cold hot cold hot cold.  One minute we're wearing bathing suits while sliding (or trying, anyway) down a new tri-color slip-n-slide I got in an off season deal, the next minute we're all bundled up in our coats freezing ourselves to death.  Maybe it's May.  No coincidence that Mother's Day is in May, because I think May is one of a mothers busiest months, when we all need some encouragement, right?  I just sat through an exceedingly long meeting at the school while I tried oh-so-hard not to yawn, helped my mom unpack a few things into her new garage (yay!), almost had a play date but there were melting-down kids on both ends, trying over email to talk my husband into buying a better piano (this may be a losing battle, though ours is 50 years old and out of tune, we have never once tuned it, ouch), while I watch two kids out my front window, one riding his bike in circles while his sister walks wistfully on the curb while eating a neon green Otter Pop.  Trying to plan out last soccer games, try-outs, doctor, dentist visits, recitals, graduation parties, moving my parents.  While I mull over all of the things I'd like to do to be a better parent to all of these little ones and try not to think about my stinking tooth that has been killing me since yesterday, when I had prep work for a crown done (by the end of the procedure, my four year-old was sitting on my lap, she insisted on coming and was patient most of the time, she also spent a few minutes peering into my mouth from a millimeter away, it was actually really cute and I enjoyed her, except when she jiggled the table/chair while delicate things were happening in my mouth and I was unable to garble some Frankenstein-like command).

There are so many things I want to work on, even need to work on.  So many.  Half the trouble is just deciding which things are most important.  And now that I'm a year into this, taking a second look at a few things that I need to revisit, because I didn't do some quite right the first time and somehow some things have slipped back where they came from.

So, where am I? (please tell me?)  Because I'm not sure (need to work on those routines!  and the rules, ah, the rules, that is something I'm still so terrible at), I think I'm going to take a break from the more rule/routine-like stuff, because while they need to be worked on, and they facilitate parenting, they aren't what really make me feel like they are reasons why I signed up to be a parent.

So, I'm going to revisit the quality time goal from the first month of my project.  I'm going to analyze how it's being spent and what changes need to be implemented.  I think my older kids need more, and I'd like to give them more one-on-one, so I'm going to think on that and get back to you.  And just focus on showing love to them while I'm at it.

Oh yeah, and enjoying my final days as a nursing mother, as I should probably quit by the end of the month (sound convinced?).

(Oh yeah, and try to convince my husband that we must exercise unusual means to finish that darn Downton Abbey! (thanks, Annie!)  Now I see why everyone is addicted.  Curse you, Downton Abbey, I see some delicious late nights ahead.)

Clear as mud, right?

Have a great, great weekend!  I will miss you all!