Good Day, Bad Day

We had so much fun the last time we went to the Planetarium, and we had a few free tickets I wanted to use before the summer was up, so we met Grandma there and enjoyed the IMAX movie "Born to be Wild" (probably my favorite IMAX of all time...the women are so inspiring, and such a great example of empathy, kindness, and a life of compassion...the animals are also very fun to watch...great cinematography and music...overall, very beautifully done).  Then we went back for a little hike, shorter than the one we did on this day, in the same place.  (It's been so nice to be more active together this month, though that wasn't one of my goals, it just sort of happened)   Then we went on to see my grandma and my dad (my dad lives with her during the week for work, then returns home on the weekends).  What a great day.

(Love those legs!  His shorts were dirty)

The next day was not a great day.  It was super busy, as we've re-started some activities, like scouts and soccer, and we're out of the habit of having these things on the schedule, so it was wild.  Also, baby was fussy and had lower-end GI issues all day.  :)  You know what I mean.  And I've discovered that eating healthily on busy days or on the fly is hard.  This is something I'm going to need to figure out, so all our hard work isn't undermined when school starts.

At the end of my bad day, I was ready to pull my hair out.  I even chucked all of my positive words work when I acted like a three year-old!  My three said something like "you're mean."  And I surprised myself when I said "you're mean!" right back. (I never talk like this to my kids, even before my work on 'positive words!')  It totally caught her off guard for a minute, then we went back and forth hurling insults at each other while my other kids' mouths dropped open in awe at their crazy mother.  While it felt great for about 20 seconds, I felt pretty awful afterward. :)

Then two things happened.  The first was I got an email from my dad.  It read:

Hi,

It was good to see you yesterday. I love and admire you and how hard you work to be a good person and mother. And you do a great job.

...Thanks again for everything and please know how deeply I love you.

Dad

  

I needed that! I'm not sure he knows it, but my dad was inspired.  Sometimes it's good to hear that, no matter how imperfect I am, I am trying my best!  I want to be a good mother!  I want my kids to be happy!

I am also copying some of my poems onto my new computer, and I found one I'd tucked away from about 6 years ago.   Made me remember all the things I love about being a mother.  About being their mother. About how life-changing and perspective changing it has been for me.  And maybe when I'm in the thick of it, in the trenches, I don't always see the big picture, but they are the highlight of my life so far!  Even on bad days.