An Ordinary Day Goes From Good to Bad and Back Again

Today we drove to my mom's to help her clean her house after some local construction made her house very dusty.  I was worried about leaving my own mess behind, but we enjoyed the car ride so much-- the leaves this year are breathtaking, the most beautiful we've had in a few years.

It was so relaxing to be out, to spend time with my mom and little ones, and to do something for someone who has helped me so much!  It felt really good.  She kept getting the little ones snacks, toys, hugs, and movies while I wiped blinds clean with a green-gloved hand.  She put a white Tupperware bowl filled with water in the kitchen on a towel and put tub toys in it.  The kids loved it. 

By the time I got home, though, it was time to run my son to soccer.  Mentally, I had a little breakdown as I thought about all the millions of things I wasn't getting done.  I let the little ones out of the car while I sat next to a cement wall and sullenly scrolled through my phone, NOT remembering things I've learned recently about making the most of busy days and not to panic on busy days (didn't I learn that on day one?).

But the kids were having such a great time, running and squealing with little feet slapping the pavement in pattering-rain fashion; it was infectious.  After a few minutes I ran around with them a bit, and they made me laugh, and I remembered how much I can do with a few minutes if I choose to, and that time with them is the biggest mood lifter of all. 

Aren't these little faces just so worth it?  SO cute.

(The only way I could get this little one to hold still for some pictures was to ask him "where is your nose?  Where are your ears?" etc.)

What do you think of the new hair cut?  (it looks a little better when dry)

Halloweening With the Littles

 

(After school snack all planned, pumpkin eggnog, yum, super healthy :) )

The littlest ones and I put out the Halloween decorations today to the tune of some vintage 80's Halloween songs that issued tinnily from my propped-up, fingerprinty phone. 

My three year old helped me place the decorations enthusiastically before she got distracted by a play dough craft from last year and went in the kitchen to get busy.  Later I found little snips of plastic and black and blue play dough snipped in a little dustbucket pile on a kitchen chair. 

The baby was good at taking things out of the orange and black plastic bins and placing them in various random arrangements on the floor.   After thirty minutes, he decided it was time to nurse instead.  So we snuggled up on the couch with the sun filtering through the window, the sound of "Thriller" in the background, and little three year-old crafty noises wafting in from the kitchen.  Baby looked at me with his big brown eyes, periodically trying to "dance," as he wiggled his shoulders to the music.

I realized.  In a few years, I'll be able to do this on my own time frame, no interruptions, in an already clean house.  But I'll miss the little busy hands and the interruptions.  They are the sunshine in this autumn day.

(This given to me by a friend when I was a missionary in Texas, experience here.)

The little play dough clippings I found reminded me of another time I found something in little bits scattered in a winding trail toward the front door.  It was a praying mantis.  It looked eerily---- snipped. yess, it was snipped.  by the same three year-old.  at least it was a quick death, but it was not funny to older brother, who cried.

What is your favorite thing about fall?  When we lived in England, no one called autumn "fall."  Also, our friends in England were not as into Halloween as we are here in America-- most of them thought it to be a pagan and evil-ish holiday.  But how can it be evil-ish with "Thriller" playing in the background? Love. That. Song.

Weekend Round-up

My husband built me this gorgeous bookcase/bench.  It has been in the works a long time.  And the study is a big dust ball.  But isn't it pretty?  I think he did a great job.  We went out on a limb a little with the pendant lights but I love them.

 My kiddos love to have "sleepovers" with eachother on the weekend.  Even when I say no, I'll find someone asleep on someone else's floor or in their bed.  I love that they like eachother so much.  These two are special buds.

Cut baby's hair!  Sniff, sniff!  I have been putting it off because I was so sad and couldn't bring myself to do it, but he actually looks really super darling with his new little haircut.  More later.

How to Train Your Dragon (one of our favorites) in the park!  I love outdoor movies.  It was so fun to snuggle with the family on the blanket while eating donuts on a string. 

Rocket launch for my oldest, who built 2/3 of his rocket himself.  This was quite fun!  I was amazed at how high some of the rockets went.   Baby would jump every time one was launched, but still loved it.

 I got to see this gorgeous building twice on Saturday, once for a wedding, and once on my way to this.  I got to go with my aunt who I haven't seen for 16 years.  Then go see my sister's place.  It was a "me" date.  And I loved it.  So refreshing in so many ways.  And made me want to be better. 

Table Topics and Pink

This is a little random for today.

One of my loyal readers (ha,ha, my cute NY sister) sent me a gift that she thought would help my project.  It has been awesome!  I can't believe what stimulating and enlightening conversations we are now having at dinner.  Each card has a question-- they are called "Table Topics."  The questions are simple, but somebody did their homework because they work!  One night I was really laughing about how heated (in a good way) the conversation was about what they like to do at recess.  And practical for eating because the cards are protected from spaghetti fingers by a pretty clear box.

Speaking of acts of service, I've done my school shopping the last two years about a month after school and gotten some killer deals.  Like some cute cotton shirts at GAP for $3 and $5.  I always struggle finding P.E. shoes for my girls that are still feminine and cute, until I found these at a discount retailer for a great price.

My one well filler for last month, a splurge tube of NARS lipstick I read about on this cute girl's blog.  I haven't bought lipstick for 3 years.  So it's been fun and I even got a compliment today!  This tube was MIA for a few days, until I found what looked like some shady marks on the walls and carpet in a few places.  Luckily the lipstick did eventually turn up and wasn't as much worse for the wear as I thought it would be.  :)  And it came out of everything but the carpet.

The lipstick color is Roman Holiday.  I love it!  Just a touch of pink that feels updated without being crazy.

Happy weekend!  Have any fall weekend plans? For us:  soccer, a wedding, and some religion.

Month 6

I can't believe at the end of this month I will be halfway through a year!  It has flown by.  So far, my life feels so much more full and happy and I can see a big difference in my kids and myself.

I'm going to do something a little similar to what I did in one other month.  I'm taking the first week for organization and then I'll annnounce what I'll be working on for the few weeks after the week is over.

This week:

1 - Make a schedule for the year.  I'm always wanting to be more purposeful about how we spend time together, so I'm actually going to plan it out.  No more looking back and thinking, I wanted to give my kids more cultural experiences, but the year flew by before I knew it!  I'm going to plan out specifics.  (I've already worked on this a few hours, I just need to finish it!)

2 - Make a prioritized vacation list with my husband for the next ten years.  Since we only do one vacation a year, this should be pretty easy. (The Parenting Breakthrough has me inspired to do more planning from back to front)

3 - Update my kids school job charts.

4 - Plan a family home evening schedule for the year. 

5 - Refine my budget.

6 -  Go over my daily schedule, either refine it or make a morning/evening routine list to help manage or mornings and evenings. (Including a routine for and a set place for homework)

I have already worked on something today (see top photo).  I've been wanting to help my kids get in a better routine with piano and jobs and homework but I don't want to nag.  TV/computer (I cut the kids back to 1 hour a day in the summer) is a powerful motivator but we have a screen free rule on weeknights.  We try to make movie night on Friday special to make up for it.  But this means the kids are mostly motivated to do their jobs on Friday and Saturday and not during the week, because there is no incentive.  So, I'm going to try this.  I made "movie tickets" that they must present in order to come to the movie on Friday night.  They must have them filled out with their practice time and have done jobs and homework each day in order to attend.

On a side note, I'm so excited for the coming month.  I love Halloween and the leaves and the cooller weather.  Fall is my favorite.  Plus, I'm taking advantage of the fact my baby still gets to wear those cute tight PJ's.  These are new and he couldn't stop saying "truck" and "tractor!" 

What motivates your kids? What is your favorite part of the fall season? 

If you want an electronic copy of our "movie ticket," email me and I'll send it to you.  Probably I'm the only one out there who needs something like this! 

What I Learned, Month 5, Showing Love Through Acts of Service

This month I involved God a little more in the selection of what I was to work on, and this has been my best experience yet. 

I learned:

1)  By showing more love to my kids, I feel more love...and I think the feeling is mutual!

2)  I was doing many more acts of service than I thought I was-- the simple act of recognizing each thing I do for them as an act of love changed my approach and their reception...dramatically changing the feeling of my day and changing my whole perspective about what I do every day.  Even ordinary tasks like laundry and dishes are easier and more meaningful when I realize I am contributing to my little one's well-being and happiness and self-esteem!

3)  Little things can make a big difference-- paying attention to a child's favorite color (when purchasing clothing or something similar), adding that tiny sweet or note to their lunch once in a while, doing an ordinary activity with extra love, focus, and attention can make a big difference in every one's day.

4)  Even some of the harder acts of service (for me, being a chauffeur) can become easier if I think about what I want to help my child become.

5)  It helped me to imagine the way I felt as a child when someone did something kind for me...I especially envisioned my own parents and remembered the things they did that I appreciated, even though I didn't always express thanks at the time. 

6)  Doing acts of service can be exhilarating and habit forming!

7)  Everything I sacrifice for my kids comes back to me plus some when I see the happiness in their faces.

8)  Recognize that what I do does make a difference.  A huge difference.  Don't forget that on discouraged days.  I realized one of Satan's biggest weapons against mothers is to make them think that what they do doesn't really matter.

Little things, done with love, can change my kids lives forever for the better.

I loved this month!   

(the photos are of my nieces)

How I'm Learning to Make the Most of Busy Days

We're getting back into the thick of it.  And with four out of my five kids in something now, let me tell you, it is thick.  I never know that perfect balance between too few and too many extra curricular activities.  I really believe it is important not to over-schedule kids, as it robs them of those childhood moments to learn, play, and grow.  I read a book once-- Einstein Never Used Flashcards, it really emphasized the learning that is going on during simple play-- that our kids need some unstructured, creative, curiosity-led time for optimum development.  (see the schedule of another mother of five kids here)

But, like I said, I never know the perfect balance.  I feel that allowing my kids one sport and one musical instrument shouldn't be over-scheduled, but some days it sure feels like it!  This is one I'm still trying to figure out.

Once one has decided upon the right balance for their family and each individual child, there is still the act of taking children back and forth to these activities.  While some acts of service are easy for me, such as making birthdays special and comforting a sick or hurt child, the act of busing my kids around is hard for me.  I think it goes back in part to the interruption factor-- one must interrupt dinner, other kid's homework and other things to take kids back and forth.  (it took me 2 days to make a pie for my friend for this reason)

So, in order to have a good attitude about this activity, I've brainstormed a list to help me be positive about this particular act of service.

1)  Make simple meals and plan ahead.  Otherwise, it is too tempting to eat unhealthily and also expensively.

2)  Make the most of time in the car.  This could include a favorite audio book, CD, or discussion.  This is a great time to talk, re-connect and be together since everyone is in a confined space.

3)  Take time to enjoy the journey and not just the destination-- this is a time to look around (within reason) and enjoy the seasons.

4)  Be mindful of the good things about my particular situation. 

For me this week, that meant:

*  Enjoying the outdoors-- the mountains were breathtaking in all their autumn glory!  And I got to sit outside and enjoy it all, which I wouldn't have done if we didn't have a soccer game to attend.
*  Recognizing my other kids get extra outside play time when we travel to sports events.
*  My kids also get a chance to learn how to interact with kids they don't know.
*  Realizing that while I'm watching a game I also get to hold my little ones more than I would if I were home.

5)  Plan and prioritize.  Make time for homework, play, and other activities.  If you are too busy for homework or church activities, then maybe it is time to think of cutting back. 

6)  Ultimately recognize the growth of self-esteem and worth in your child as he/she learns to make and set goals, be a team player, and learn a new skill.  If I look to the long-term person my child is becoming, those small sacrifices don't seem so great.

Again, I'm looking back to my own childhood, and remembering that I don't remember my parents complaining about this kind of stuff.  And I don't want to make my kids feel like a burden by complaining about it either.  So I'm going to make the best of it.  And maybe it will just make the best of all of us.

How do you make the best of busy days shuttling little people around?

PS, if you need a laugh today, read this.  It reminded me of my husband, who also says things like this.  Sort of.