An Ordinary Day Goes From Good to Bad and Back Again

Today we drove to my mom's to help her clean her house after some local construction made her house very dusty.  I was worried about leaving my own mess behind, but we enjoyed the car ride so much-- the leaves this year are breathtaking, the most beautiful we've had in a few years.

It was so relaxing to be out, to spend time with my mom and little ones, and to do something for someone who has helped me so much!  It felt really good.  She kept getting the little ones snacks, toys, hugs, and movies while I wiped blinds clean with a green-gloved hand.  She put a white Tupperware bowl filled with water in the kitchen on a towel and put tub toys in it.  The kids loved it. 

By the time I got home, though, it was time to run my son to soccer.  Mentally, I had a little breakdown as I thought about all the millions of things I wasn't getting done.  I let the little ones out of the car while I sat next to a cement wall and sullenly scrolled through my phone, NOT remembering things I've learned recently about making the most of busy days and not to panic on busy days (didn't I learn that on day one?).

But the kids were having such a great time, running and squealing with little feet slapping the pavement in pattering-rain fashion; it was infectious.  After a few minutes I ran around with them a bit, and they made me laugh, and I remembered how much I can do with a few minutes if I choose to, and that time with them is the biggest mood lifter of all. 

Aren't these little faces just so worth it?  SO cute.

(The only way I could get this little one to hold still for some pictures was to ask him "where is your nose?  Where are your ears?" etc.)

What do you think of the new hair cut?  (it looks a little better when dry)

How I'm Learning to Make the Most of Busy Days

We're getting back into the thick of it.  And with four out of my five kids in something now, let me tell you, it is thick.  I never know that perfect balance between too few and too many extra curricular activities.  I really believe it is important not to over-schedule kids, as it robs them of those childhood moments to learn, play, and grow.  I read a book once-- Einstein Never Used Flashcards, it really emphasized the learning that is going on during simple play-- that our kids need some unstructured, creative, curiosity-led time for optimum development.  (see the schedule of another mother of five kids here)

But, like I said, I never know the perfect balance.  I feel that allowing my kids one sport and one musical instrument shouldn't be over-scheduled, but some days it sure feels like it!  This is one I'm still trying to figure out.

Once one has decided upon the right balance for their family and each individual child, there is still the act of taking children back and forth to these activities.  While some acts of service are easy for me, such as making birthdays special and comforting a sick or hurt child, the act of busing my kids around is hard for me.  I think it goes back in part to the interruption factor-- one must interrupt dinner, other kid's homework and other things to take kids back and forth.  (it took me 2 days to make a pie for my friend for this reason)

So, in order to have a good attitude about this activity, I've brainstormed a list to help me be positive about this particular act of service.

1)  Make simple meals and plan ahead.  Otherwise, it is too tempting to eat unhealthily and also expensively.

2)  Make the most of time in the car.  This could include a favorite audio book, CD, or discussion.  This is a great time to talk, re-connect and be together since everyone is in a confined space.

3)  Take time to enjoy the journey and not just the destination-- this is a time to look around (within reason) and enjoy the seasons.

4)  Be mindful of the good things about my particular situation. 

For me this week, that meant:

*  Enjoying the outdoors-- the mountains were breathtaking in all their autumn glory!  And I got to sit outside and enjoy it all, which I wouldn't have done if we didn't have a soccer game to attend.
*  Recognizing my other kids get extra outside play time when we travel to sports events.
*  My kids also get a chance to learn how to interact with kids they don't know.
*  Realizing that while I'm watching a game I also get to hold my little ones more than I would if I were home.

5)  Plan and prioritize.  Make time for homework, play, and other activities.  If you are too busy for homework or church activities, then maybe it is time to think of cutting back. 

6)  Ultimately recognize the growth of self-esteem and worth in your child as he/she learns to make and set goals, be a team player, and learn a new skill.  If I look to the long-term person my child is becoming, those small sacrifices don't seem so great.

Again, I'm looking back to my own childhood, and remembering that I don't remember my parents complaining about this kind of stuff.  And I don't want to make my kids feel like a burden by complaining about it either.  So I'm going to make the best of it.  And maybe it will just make the best of all of us.

How do you make the best of busy days shuttling little people around?

PS, if you need a laugh today, read this.  It reminded me of my husband, who also says things like this.  Sort of. 

Service Month Update & I Can't Do This Alone

Results have been mixed this month, as with all the months that have gone on before. :)  Some things are going great.  My kids have had their hair done nearly every day and my big kids have taken home lunches to school every day.

So, packing lunches is a big victory for us.  In part due to the fact that I paid $0 into a lunch money account, forcing us to make those lunches every day!

I have loved refocusing my attention on making the little acts of service I do special for each child.  Just today I picked out a jacket for one daughter who needed it, and I remembered her new favorite color from the day I asked them about their favorite things. 

Are you ready for some excuses?  I've also hardly slept for 2 and a half weeks now, as baby learned to crawl out of his crib (prompting an emergency floor mattress placement), then caught a cold, and my three year old has been having bad dreams.  I've been getting up probably anywhere from 3 to 7 times a night, and serving as a human binkie the other half of the night.  (I go back and forth about being ready to give up nursing)  Yet I've tried to enjoy it, snuggling with little ones and realizing this isn't forever (please?).

We've also been adjusting to a crazy new schedule that nearly gave me a panic attack one day.  I've been so busy as we've readjusted to activities such as dance and soccer.  I called my mom and my husband one day, wondering what I should do.  I don't believe in being super busy (on top of that, I really hate being busy!).  I think kids need time to play.  And it's so hard to eat healthy when I'm busy.  And when one kid is busy, all of us are, because we have to shuttle that one child around.  This has been the hardest thing for me to have a good attitude about. 

Three things:  1) I prayed about this months focus before I chose it, and now I can see God's foresight.  In part because of what I'd have to go through with getting up at night and our new schedule.  So I'd look at them in their proper light with a decent attitude.  2)  I'm deciding that after simplifying as much as possible, I need to make the best of our crazy schedule, like finding ways to make it more pleasant, ie, listening to children's audio books in the car.  3)  While focusing on acts of service, its ironically been easier to know when to step back and let my children do something for themselves.

Overall, great month, I feel this huge welling love for my kids, now I just need to figure out how to get some sleep!

How do you handle it when your little ones get up in the night?  Which acts of service are easiest for you?  Hardest?

To Beg, Borrow, and Steal (Time)

I've learned in the last two weeks that certain days are my melt-down days.  These are usually the days I have the most scheduled (of course I've also noticed melt down days are when I wait too long to make dinner, stay up too late the night before, or put my kiddos to bed too late).  So I brainstormed a few ideas for quality time on days that I'm more harried.  Of course, I have to be careful; there is always more do clean in my house than I can ever clean in one day, more to organize, more to do than I can ever get done.  I can't wait until things are "done" to spend time with the kids because things are never done.  These are just ideas for days with unforeseen events or other meltdown igniters.

Ways to squeeze in quality time on a busy day:

1.  Have children help make dinner. 

Yesterday I decided to turn our pile of over-ripe oranges into orange juice.  My six year old (Maia) asked if she could help.  I had a moment's hesitation-- my procrastinating self again!  Ideally I want to let my children help but I don't want to clean up the mess.  I let her help, and you know what, she was thrilled, and she only took a quick turn at juicing and she'd had enough.  We all enjoyed the fruits of our labors. :)

2.  Listen to a children's audio book in the car or while folding clothes.  Here are some I like: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/433399-corinne

3.  Make the most of a moment I have in the normal course of a day, like a walk to school, to learn about my child's interests, fears, or concerns or to look around at things we don't normally pay attention to.  Had one of these yesterday-- I noticed how gorgeous and fluffy white the clouds were!  We spent five minutes watching the clouds swirl and puffing and tried to find shapes in the clouds.  As simple as this seems, I'd never done this with my littlest ones, and I can't remember the last time I really looked at the clouds.

4.  Eat meals together.  In our family the books are more of a temptation than the TV...have to get everyone to shut their books so we can talk! 

5.  Take my child with me, if possible.  I play the organ at church and used to take one child with me each Sunday a little early in order to practice but it was fun bonding time being together, even though we couldn't interact the whole time.  (and my kids loved it; always fought over who came)

6.  Let them help me shop, and instead of focusing on the destination, find something fun to help us enjoy the moment.  (teach them about prices, let them help find something, race down the aisles when no one is watching)

7.  Make the most of wait times-- in the car, grocery store check out lines, at the soccer game-- to connect with my child.

Last night at dinner, someone started the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" game.  Everyone chose something fairly predictable, until it got to my three year-old, who said "I want to be a horse!"  We laughed and laughed.