Living in England and Some Little Reminiscinces

The time has come and gone: remembering the time we moved here four years ago, when I was big and pregnant.  I've been thinking a lot about the different places we have lived and the people we left behind (more on this tomorrow).

These two used to hold hands in the car.  They are still best little buds.

There is a part of me that will call those places home, places I sorted life out as I walked or ran, watched the seasons change, brought babies home, helped them learn to walk, laid on the couch all day moaning with the stomach flu together, visited church parties and walked with friends and laughed over my cardboard box Yorkshire pudding served with Salmon or my cold custard (oops). 

Life in England wasn't perfect.  I was sick all the time.  We were separated from our family by time zones and distance.  We lost our dear mother only a short time after we returned due to cancer.  My house was frequently a mess (now it's worse, ha ha), as I adjusted to new motherhood, pregnancy, and new motherhood again.  While we were there, I tried to force myself to spend a certain chunk of time with my little ones each day, as I'm trying to do now as part of my project.  It was not easy.  It was hard.  (not hard in the sense that I loved it, it was just hard learning to juggle all of the housework and stuff on top of it)  I resurrected this poem I wrote after we returned.  Isn't it funny, looking back with the clarity only time can give, what it is I remembered most?  Yes, I loved England the country and all her little quirks and beauties and customs.  No mentions of wishing my house were cleaner or that I had chosen more fashionable furniture or something, the things I remember best, the memories that are fondest, are of people, especially my little ones.  It was worth every little sacrifice.

Sorry, this poem is super sentimental, and choppy, and won't always make sense (though it does to me).  But you get the picture.

PS The Elizabeth reference is to my daughters, the first of whom was born in England.  It is in reference to this drawing by Da Vinci, which was (probably still is) hanging in the National Gallery and which I fell in love with.  The Windsor reference refers to our first trip to England, when we were house hunting, and how we fell in love.  So many happy memories there.

Goodbye, Cedar Drive

Goodbye, number 49

Where we brought baby home,

Listened to clickety-clacking trains,

Returned from rambles

With leaf in hand--

And sticks and rocks.

Goodbye little footpath,

Through our forest -- slanting sunshine,

Kade’s “yah” roots,

Skipping down our dirt path,

Leaves trickling down in red and amber,

Old stream,

And bridges of sink or float.

Goodbye park,

Goodbye book truck,

Goodbye little horse trails around

The solitary fat oak tree

We passed in rain,

Under stars,

Early morning mist, and sunshine.

Goodbye church spire,

Little room where we sang to

“Sleeping Bunnies,”

Stroller walks and autumn walks.

Goodbye Sunninghill High Street of donut days,

Walks from work and Stock Exchange,

Goodbye Sunningdale train station,

Waitrose.

Goodbye Ascot,

Where I cried,

The only person in the world,

Because of the perfect life inside me.

Goodbye St. Peters and Frimley,

Where He gave you to me,

Elizabeth.

Goodbye Bracknell,

Coral Reef,

And Sainsburys,

Christmas dinner with the Joneses,

Little drive of swans,

Midsummer Night’s Dream,

And Rudges.

Goodbye little church of friends,

Summer Sundays

Chasing baby across the grass.

Goodbye London,

Where St. Paul's rose

Above me

Over a spanning cable bridge.

Goodbye winding streets,

Trafalgar,

St.James Park,

National Gallery.

Goodbye, Sir Winston,

Presiding thoughtfully over

Parliament’s golden spire,

Goodbye English countryside,

We loved your cottages,

Ivy,

Garden walls.

Goodbye

Winding cobblestone

Streets,

Climbing roses,

And ancient thatched roofs.

Goodbye creaking streets,

Bending into

Surprise endings.

Goodbye Windsor,

Happy wanderings,

Family days,

Queenly Mc’D’s,

Doll houses,

Bustling shops.

Goodbye, Queen Victoria

And a Christmas tuba

Under twinkly pine garlands.

Goodbye Great Park,

We loved your ancient trees,

Your promises,

Your Long Walk,

And your silent Copper Horse.

You were our

First

Love.


Tell me, how do you carve out time for your little ones? Share your secret.

Sleddin'

We got a ton of snow last weekend, so my husband suggested we go sledding.  I'll admit I was nice and warm in the house :), thought maybe I could have a little alone time if I stayed home with the napping baby (wink, wink) (who woke up as it was time to go anyway), but I decided to go (force myself) and had a wonderful time.  Sledding is just so fun! (my hubby and I went sledding together at night on a steep, icy hill when we were just friends in college, it makes for a fun, crazy memory..we nicknamed one hill "The Scraper," lol)  And it was a great time together.  So beautiful too!  I just love these guys.  Went home for some hot chocolate and laughs over my husbands video of K's close encounter with "the jump." (see below)

 We don't have boots for baby, so we pretty much carried him the whole time.  He would act terrified when I took him down on my lap, but at the bottom he'd heave a breathless sigh and say "SLIDE!"  If I asked him if he liked it, he would nod his head.  :)

 Showing us how much "air" he got off a jump.  He talked about this and talked about it and talked about it and talked about it...until he went to bed that night. :)

Baby Explores Poem

I must delay updating you on my project for one more day, as I am super pooped today.  Up in the night for 2 hours with a little sick one.  Here is a little poem I wrote about my baby and our sometime explorings while little girl is in dance.  I wanted to edit it some more, but I can always do that later.   And sorry, its kind of like an epic poem, as it describes an hour in detail.  :)

Do you ever do this?  Let the little one direct the activity?  What was your experience?  I would like to do it more.


Exploring the Woods

I let you explore the woods today,
I followed you like a bear cub momma in
Reverse.
When you'd stop,
I'd stop.
Out a glass door
With a plastic VW bug
In one hand
And an orange shoe in the other.
I could see the top of your soft
Ginger head,
Toddling up and down,
Calculating,
Then going.
First down the ramp.
Time to smell the flowers.
You bent at the waist,
Sniffing loudly
Inches away from
A red prickly bush.
Then out into the parking lot,
Between two cars,
Then back again.
Then out again,
Across a crumbly
Blacktop
With bright yellow
Painted lines
And empty cars.
Head to the right,
And the left,
Deciding,
Not delaying.
Making lots of decisions in
Nanoseconds.
We've neared an office building
Flower bed,
Strewn with brightly colored poppies,
Strung like beads on a child's
Necklace.
Now you've got it,
Sniffing a quarter inch from
a bare yellow
pollinator.
Then off
To try your first
Revolving door,
Air compressing around us,
Like astronauts
In a cosmonaut.
Then decompressing.
I wonder if anyone will wonder why we're in here.
You wander down a black alien
zig-zag carpet corridor
to the left,
Smelling of papers and coffee and work.
Then back out the door,
As the outside rushes in to greet us,
Then back in,
Then back out.
Off to smell one more flower,
Then marching off,
Occasional head turning to make sure
Momma bear is following.
You turn at the big road,
Noticing a grumbling
school bus
Make its way down the road.
Then you turn toward a tree,
examining something,
But recoil when I run my
Finger down its bark,
Making a dry
Scrraaaaatch.
You're not touching that.
Off you go again.
On the homestretch,
You leave the path to try
out an army green
Plastic
Cover
Recessed in the growing grass.
Bump, a hollow sound--
Then again.
You were leary of the blue one,
another tree's bark (not touching that either),
and not sure you want to go back.
Inside,
I sat on the green velvet couch,
Sunk in,
Beckoned, entreated, invited you
To try a book with me.
The sun was pouring lines around
A tangerine velvet button couch
And bright carpet flowers.
You looked, squoze
Between a pillar and the window
And then looked at me
from the circles
under the stairs,
Your face like a little spy
Who'd discovered a secret world,
And then got discovered himself.
Giggled.
Eyes looking at me through
Different holes,
Wondering if the result would be the same.
"I SEE YOU!"
Baby laugh.
The most musical sound in the world.
(Baby delight=
My delight!)
Then you decided Christopher Columbus
had not had enough,
Following wafting sounds
Into another room.
When I caught up,
You were framed in the doorway,
There was a stage.
A blonde in short exercise clothes and tan muscles
Was building a set with another man.
They were putting up some gauzy-curtains
By a big French clock.
There was a guillotine with a
big red half-polka dot
Blood-stain on a lifted blade.
Michael Jackson was floating
on  the breeze.

Little Moby Dick was having a day.

Goals for Month 5

It is month 5 already!  When did that happen?  We have had such a wonderful summer.  I'm sad to see it go!  But I love the crisp golden feeling of fall in the air. 

I am about to send my three oldest off to school.   My six year-old will be starting first grade!  I have really mixed feelings about this.  I feel it is time to start giving more attention to this little girl:

And I am so desperate for a good nap (not happening, with five active kiddos, a certain single fly that seems to know where and when I'm trying to sleep, and my new TV rule!).  And less chaos.  But, at the same time, I always feel sad for a week or so after my kids start school, especially first grade.  Reality hits:  time is marching on whether I want it to or not.  This little one will not be home finger painting, singing Kindergarten songs, going to the park or story time at the library with me any more.  Those days are now over.  Though good ones are ahead!  It's just-- a special little time is over. Have I made the most of this time?  Did I cherish it enough?  Did I teach her enough?  Will she go forward feeling confident and brave as she faces some of life's realities?  Will she remember our times together, our laughs, our walks, our happy and quiet times?

This morning we sat at the breakfast table enjoying slurpy chunks of dripping watermelon, her little elbows resting on the table next to mine.  I enjoyed her golden-ish hair and gray-blue eyes, her tiny sprinkling of freckles, and a new little tooth squishing itself in amongst her baby teeth.  We laughed and talked and slurped our watermelon, dripping on last night's dinner crumbs.  We talked about school and sisters and Satan. :)  (don't ask me how these topics interwove)  Will I be ready to let her go? 

Sorry....I have digressed so much.  But there is (sort of) a point.

I have debated much internally over this month's goals.   While there are things I need to work on a little more urgently, I've decided to re-focus this month on showing love, as inspired by The Five Love Languages of Children (Chapman, Campbell).   Specifically, as my kids go back to school, I want to focus on a few areas.  (The five love languages they talk about are: quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gifts...I've already worked on two of these)  Here are this month's goals:

1.  Warm greetings (as inspired by the sneak peak from Gretchen Rubin's new book - Happier at Home) ....specifically I want to hug my kids as they come and go, and focus on smiling more.
2.  Acts of Service - create an after-school routine, including a moderately clean house, healthy prepared snack, and a few minute chat.
-- Do little things they need when they need them instead of putting them off.
-- Create a better bedtime routine (including making dinner on time so kids have plenty of time to get ready for bed).
-- Have myself or the kids prepare their own lunches every day this year.
-- Get back in the habit of doing my girls' hair!
-- Use what I learned about positive words as I leave my kids at least one note a week in their lunch or bedroom.
3.  Children's charity of the month-- as part of this blog I'd like to start learning about a new children's charity each month and use the money I earn that month to donate toward said charity. 
4.  For my husband and myself-- make something  to display that encapsulates the family goals we talked about in Month 3.

What will you miss most about summer?  I will miss fresh tomatoes, swimming, going places when we want to, and no homework!

Some Kitty Time

Posting early today because we have a fun day planned!  What are you doing today?

We got some new kitties, they are so scared you can feel them tremble while they're being held  (makes me feel so bad!).  Trying to give them some good lovin' so they will start to love the world. 

Beautiful evening, dad tinkering in the garage, baby's flat chubby feet making a slapping sound as he stumbled onto the wet pavement where a sprinkler rained down; he'd stand there for a minute with his head tipped in the spraying water, still as can be, processing the new feeling, then totter back onto the dry cement, little footprints evaporating like a sweet mirage.

Little girls made kitty toys, then flew them in the wind like kites; girl giggles ringing through the honey air.  Little boy singing a playgroup song to his kitty: "soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...."  He told me later-- "Mom, sometimes being soft-hearted causes me problems."  I told him that is one of the things I like about him best!~

Oh Brother!

On Saturday my son offered to help with the baby so I could get something done inside.  I looked out the window, and he was being so adorable with Emerson (the baby), I had to grab my camera.  Warm fuzzy moment seeing them together, so cute.  He has always been such a kind big brother.

(they were home with me because we had an outing planned and his jobs weren't done...I was tempted to give in and let him go, but I'm working on helping them learn how to work, so I need to be consistent for their sakes...I have to keep reminding myself this is out of love, because those mom insincts kick in to protect and make things great for the kids all the time, but I want them to be happy adults, not just happy kids.  Found some great sites that talk about work -- I'll share tomorrow)

I love how pictures can tell a story.

We got some kitties, and he was saying "kitty," almost as plain as day!  (replacing the first "k" with a "t")  :)

Zoo

We had the most fabulous day at the zoo with friends.  We haven't been to the zoo in ages, but we'll definitely being going back soon!  It reminded me of so many happy times at the Denver Zoo when my now biggest kids were little:

(One of my favorite pictures of all time)

I LOVED watching my baby see the animals for the first time.  His expressions were priceless.  Especially loved the monkeys.

These cans were empty (my son used his "allowance" to buy a soda-- I let him, using what I just learned in the Parenting Breakthrough about letting kids learning how to manage their own money at a young age).  My baby had a great time with the empty cans.

Cooling off!

My boy carried my backpack all day (so I could lift baby up to show him the animals) without complaining.

 The kids were so cute with eachother all day.

What I would give for this little girl's thoughts sometimes.

We ended the excursion with a trip to a playplace and an ice cream.  His first time really having ice cream?  It was so cute.

I thought, I am so glad my kids haven't outgrown playplaces and zoos.  I love this age!  I just want to eat it up.  So glad we're spending more time together.