B-day

This girl's birthday. She's generously sharing this post with her siblings, especially her brother, all of whom benefited from her special day.  :)

It started with breakfast in bed.  There were many willing mouths wanting to taste the wares.  She would offer baby a taste, from the top bunk mind you, and he would open his mouth from wherever he was in the room until he got to her.  :)

Someone is already enjoying his sister's birthday present.

This is my best "Percy Jackson" cake with boxed mix and store-bought frosting. 

I tried to make a pretty cake I'd seen on a friend's blog and here (surprisingly not hard), but mine wouldn't come out of the pan (forgot the flour). 

(I'd buy the gel colors separately for the colors you need-- we tried to mix colors, and our red with blue turned the "purple" more of a brown.)

Banner my friend made for my birthday.  I love it so much I left it up for 3 weeks after our last birthday.  :)

As usual, her favorite present is from her aunt in New York-- a wand just like Hermoine.

Grandma and Grandpa came, her dad got off early, and we all went swimming.  We had such a great time!  

What a great kid she is-- smart, thoughtful, fun.  Life just wouldn't be the same without her.

How was your fourth?

Zoo

We had the most fabulous day at the zoo with friends.  We haven't been to the zoo in ages, but we'll definitely being going back soon!  It reminded me of so many happy times at the Denver Zoo when my now biggest kids were little:

(One of my favorite pictures of all time)

I LOVED watching my baby see the animals for the first time.  His expressions were priceless.  Especially loved the monkeys.

These cans were empty (my son used his "allowance" to buy a soda-- I let him, using what I just learned in the Parenting Breakthrough about letting kids learning how to manage their own money at a young age).  My baby had a great time with the empty cans.

Cooling off!

My boy carried my backpack all day (so I could lift baby up to show him the animals) without complaining.

 The kids were so cute with eachother all day.

What I would give for this little girl's thoughts sometimes.

We ended the excursion with a trip to a playplace and an ice cream.  His first time really having ice cream?  It was so cute.

I thought, I am so glad my kids haven't outgrown playplaces and zoos.  I love this age!  I just want to eat it up.  So glad we're spending more time together.

Month 3, Part Two-- Teaching Work

This month I have some specific things we need to improve on.  I don't think we are bad at working, we just need to improve.  The kids have jobs and the thing I've found to be most successful at motivating them is no privileges (TV, computer, friends, etc) until their jobs are done.  I'm not consistent about some things, but this is one thing I'm consistent about, and it works really well.

I have used a binder system to track jobs in the past (I am not good at any kind of job chart that requires frequent maintenance on my part, such as stickers).   It worked well.  But now we use My Job Chart -- see my review here.  One of the nice things about My Job Chart is that it keeps track of how many "points" your child earns-- you don't have to.  The only time parental involvement needed is to add or change jobs, specify which rewards are available for your child to earn (there are custom fields for both of these, if you want them to have a job or reward not in My Job Chart's system, and you can decide if you want them to be able to earn toys or monetary-based rewards), and act when they redeem an award.

After reading The Parenting Breakthrough my Merrillee Boyack, here are some of the things she's inspired me to work on, as well as some of my own:

1)  Make a list of all the things I would like my kids to learn in order to be an independent adult (list things like wise investing, how to clean a toilet, how to change the oil in a car, etc), then make a plan, year by year, of the things they need to learn.  She has her own plan, according to age, which is really good.  There are definitely some things on her list that my kids are not doing. 

We already started this, and it was a wonderful experience for me and my husband.  What a great perspective giver.  We are going to hone it down a little in conjunction with a family motto and basic family rules, but we got a great start.

2)  Help my kids understand the value of work.   Making them work and actually helping them learn to value work are two different things.  (more of that becoming stuff I want-- if they actually value it, it will change their life, if not, its only a short-term fix)

Immediate plan:  I have a Family Night lesson all planned for tonight-- we'll see how it goes.  Obviously it will take a lot of times for this lesson to really sink in.  For tonight, I'm also going to introduce the "training plan" Boyack writes about-- giving my kids some notice before I train them in a new job.  (more later in the month)

3)  Help them learn how to be self-starters-- get up early, on their own, and get to work (dream on, right?).  I don't know how I'm going to do this yet, but I am determined to help them do it!

4)  Work hard myself.  I've been afraid to push myself too hard since I didn't sleep the first 10 months of baby's life, but its time to start.  Every parenting book I read says that kids need to see their parents showing the way rather than just spewing idle talk.

5)  Limit TV/computer.  We've gotten into some bad habits the last six months or so!  I'm going to limit my kiddos to 1 hour of screen time during the summer, limit TV to weekends during the school year for the big kids (1 hour per day during school year for little ones). 

6)  Accountability.  I'm going to actually check my kids jobs to make sure they are done.  Boyack suggests making a 3x5 card with the requirements for a particular job in detail-- ie, for bathroom it would include wipe mirrors, empty trash, wipe sinks, clean toilet, etc.

7)  Positive Rewards.  I made a jar with papers called "Mystery Motivators" (got the idea from a friend).  I learned in The Power of Positive Parenting (Latham) that intermittent reinforcement can be a powerful rewarding tool (periodically providing a reward-- this also works in the negative, if I let them get away with something once, they are likely to try many times to get away with it again).

8)  Work together.  I've wanted to work together as a family for ages, we just never do it.  Going to try something new this month, I'll let you know how it goes.

How do you teach your kids to work?  Any job chart ideas that work for you?  Boyack thinks varying the job charts is a great idea to keep things interesting.

Today

Surprise good times with cousins and aunts today.  Isn't this picture of my niece so beautiful?  I love these simple moments of childhood.

I've done almost everything I wanted to do this week; I've been reading The Parenting Breakthrough and it has been awesome!  So many great ideas.  I'm excited for next week.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Funny Little Things

Some funny little happenings around here. 

We went to my cousin's wedding.  I left my house in a huge mess, worried I wouldn't be ready for the scout party the next day, but it worked out okay.  We had a wonderful time in a little outdoor area at the wedding, sitting under trees filtering afternoon sunlight and the sounds of a little waterfall and children playing in gravelly rocks in their vests and bow ties.  My ten year-old sat by my grandma and explained to her his drinking problem-- he has always loved to drink and drink and drink at meals and sometimes has to be told it's time to eat, too.  He collects bottles, and they giggled and emptied some bottles for him and recruited other's bottles too.  (thanks, Grandma) :)  She is in a wheelchair for the first time in her life.  I saw them sitting there talking and laughing (he didn't leave her side all evening) and I realized if I'd stayed home to clean my house I would have missed this.  Who knows how many more memories I will have of my grandma. 

The other night the same son and I were returning from scouts when we saw some young children on our corner selling something from a brown vinyl folding table.  A mom shouted from a nearby porch swing: "Just so you know, I have no idea what they are selling!"   So we put on our best faces and checked out their wares.  There was a bag of microwave popped popcorn and a big orange drink cooler thing.  My son leaned over to me and giggle-whispered: "Mom, their sign says poop corn!"  We asked how much.  They said one dollar.  We plopped down our dollar (sorry, husband), and then opened the orange cooler and the ice cream bucket floating in water inside, to reveal an iceberg with shards of freezer burnt ice cream floating in a pool of melted creamy white.  They just looked at us.  We looked at them.  Then I asked "do you want us to dish it up ourselves?"  "Yes!" they said.  Oh boy.  :)  On the way home, my son laughed, "Mom, I think we got ripped off."

I found this left for me on the counter one day.  It has my name and my Ava's name, with pronated stick figures and some flowers.  They collected a flower for me (from my yard) along with some tree leaves and duct taped them into a bouquet.  So sweet.  :)



This is the goofiest video. My nine year old figured out how to do this weird effect on my phone. The best is at 1:25 (I think she has a lemon drop in her mouth), after that its just more of the same.





This little girl made her bed by herself!  The look on her face when I praised her (maybe I'm not a lost cause yet) was priceless.  When I asked if she had done it by herself, she closed her eyes and nodded her head several times with the cutest little pleased pixie smile on her face.

Me Happening to Life, Not My Life Happening to Me?

This week I'm trying to get (a little) organized.  I'm already learning I'm a more patient parent when things run smoothly.  This is what I'm doing for my spouse this month, too, since we are more patient with each other when things are organized and under control.

After each of my children I've had to eventually make a schedule for myself, usually when life gets a little more predictable, when my baby is between 12 and 18 months (closer to 18 months).  I function so much better when I have an idea of what I should be doing when.  My kids secretly enjoy a little routine, too, so this helps them too.

I'm a little embarrassed to put my own schedule on here, don't ask me why, but I wondered if it might help someone out there who is struggling with this same issue.  I found examples of other mom's schedules here (I especially enjoyed this one, very well thought out) and here and here.  Some of them have great tips for schedule making, not just the schedules themselves.

In the past, when I've done a schedule, I've noticed that simple is better.  Hour blocks work the best for me.  Then I can memorize my schedule and have a rough idea of what I should be doing.  Otherwise, it is so easy to get swallowed up in the black hole of an entire unscheduled day, haphazardly going from task to task.

Many moms suggest working around set things like meals, naptimes, school start times, etc.  Flylady recommends taking 15 minute breaks every so often, I guess I just prefer having a whole hour at naptime or bedtime than breaking up my tasks during the day.

Maybe another reason the hour blocks work for me is it allows for a little flexibility.  I can nurse baby on demand, change diapers, find a bandaid, or clean up a spill and I'm not messing up an up-to-the-minute schedule.

I don't always follow these to the letter (and then only Mon-Fri), but it gives a basic structure to my day that makes a world of difference.  (Oh, and I do have a separate schedule for the school year.  Each year I have to tweak these a little or periodically if I see something isn't working out.)

I have a binder I put copy of my schedule in, along with the kids' jobs in sheet protectors, as well as a list of family jobs we are supposed to do together each Saturday (ha ha, haven't actually done these in a year, but that is about to change).

The items with these {} are kid's items, or what the kids should be doing when.

Summer Schedule

 5:45  Arise

5:55  Exercise

7:00  Shower, get ready for the day, make bed,  start laundry, scripture study

{7:45} kids up

7:45  Breakfast, me

8:00  Breakfast for kids, devotional (5 min inspirational story or one of these), clean up breakfast

8:30  Comb hair, {big kids - shower/bath}, tidy bathroom

9:00  Family job for 20, clean downstairs

9:45 Upstairs (switch off every other day)

10:30 Quality time with kids

11:30  Lunch, clean up

12:15  Stories

12:30 {Nap, little ones}(set up craft)

12:45 Blog /power nap {TV time/quiet time}

1:45  {Craft, kids, or 15 min individual time with mom}

2:00  Calling/plan next day/organize/email

2:45  Kid time - snack

3:00 Day Jobs*, pick up house

4:00 Prep Dinner/phone calls

5:00 Dinner, clean up

6:00 Outside time (bikes, walk, etc)

7:00 Ready for bed, stories

7:45 {Kids read in bed time} Get baby ready for bed

8:00 Time with Mom (one kid per night)

8:10 Lights out for big kids, stories with baby, nurse baby

8:30 Husband time/"me" time

9:30  Lights out

Monday – Laundry,  Tuesday – Dust/shopping, Wednesday – *, Thursday – Laundry, Friday – Vacuum, Saturday - *, Laundry, Bathroom


*Mop, clean car, organize a room, yard work