Week 2 -- White Flags and Words

We survived a whole weekend on a two partial rolls of toilet paper.  It was a mini-miracle accomplished with rationing, creativity, and trips up or down the stairs running streaming white flags to someone in distress.  My husband and I were both just too darn tired to go to the store.

Two more highlights: dancing with our kids in the living room after pizza and Ramona and Beezus.  It was past bedtime, but the kids really enjoyed being swung, whirled, or bounced (the baby would start to bounce if we stopped) around the room...the giggles were worth it.  The second one was hanging out in our backyard on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon-- lying in the lush grass, rolling a ball to baby, and playing soccer with the older kids.

Mid-afternoon on Sunday, I sat at my kitchen table to work on my parenting list and looked out my new favorite window.  Just tall yellow grass and a cherry tree, but beautiful all the same.

I realized that I don't have to figure this out myself-- I'm going to turn a little more to God for help.  I even tried a brief search of the Bible to see what terms came up most often in regards to children and parenting, which was encouraging.  

I decided to start with love.  I love the book The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell (I love the marriage version too by GC), in which Chapman describes how speaking some one's love language can help them feel more loved.  He defines the five love languages as: quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation.  Often we may be speaking a love language that we most appreciate, say, words of affirmation, when the other person feels loved through hugs/physical affection.  Chapman/Campbell say that children need all of the love languages until it becomes clear (after age five) what their language is (though we all need them all for the rest of our lives, we just have one that speaks louder to us than others).

Because I'm working on quality time right now,  I thought I'd also focus on a quality time aspect with my older kids:  paying attention when they are talking to me.  Even if its just a couple of minutes, I'm going to look up from the frying pan, the newspaper, or the diaper, give eye contact, and a smile.  (try to laugh, even if its a joke about a bum crack, like my son told me the other day)  I'm also going to give 5 extra minutes at bed time to listen and to help my kids pray, too.

Okay, time for quote of the day.  I'm enjoying some new extra reading minutes with my three and she is too.  We read a library book today about a man dressed in edible items who was surprised as various animals ate items of his clothing (like a cape made of lettuce) until he ran home in his birthday suit.  My little girl said "Mom, he only weared his belly button and a hat!" 

Day 5 - A Wall

I hit a wall on day 5.  The morning couldn't have gone better-- getting up early and exercising didn't leave me nearly as tired and I got a lot more things done early.  By afternoon, though, my baby was super super fussy.  He'd been sick, and though I thought he was getting better, he took a turn for the worse.  He would cry to be held, then cry to get down, then cry to be held.  He'd cry and act like he needed to eat, then cry and spit everything out.  Poor baby.  We went to the doc and got some medicine, a steroid, to help control the inflammation in his airways.  But this seemed to make him even more fussy and sleepless.  Finally I read on the side effects sheet that the medicine prescribed can cause jitters, sleeplessness, and reduce their ability to fight off infection.  And this is supposed to help?  I was so frustrated that I got my older kids to help a little so I could do the bare minimum of sweep the floor, throw the dishes in the dishwasher, and put something on the table for dinner. 

I realized two things about this portion of my project:

1.  it is imperative that I be flexible with my plans-- holding a sick baby, putting Rapunzel's dress on for the umpteenth time...these things will mean as much to my kids as the planned activities.

2.  showing empathy is one of the most important things I can do for my kids.

These things will foster contentment, self esteem, and empathy in my own kids, even though they're hard to do in the moment.

Last realization:

3.  Even on bad days, I can look to troubles as a sign of my blessings.  The Fruit Loops ground to fairy powder in my purse mean that I have some special little people to love.  Love this book by Emily Watts.

I tried to change my thinking when baby woke up at 5 am after going to bed at 11 and crying some at 4.  As I was holding him in the dark, eyes closed with exhaustion, I realized how lucky I am!  I have a sweet, healthy baby to hold and love!  ...and I tried to just enjoy the moment.  Some day I'll have plenty of sleep but no more tears to wipe, hair to smooth, or bundles of chubby baby to rock.

Day 4

Day 4 went really well.  

We made a little craft-- a purple alien from a kit I've saved for a couple years.  

I can already see a change in my kids even after a few short days.  They seem happier.  Am I imagining it?  I'm happier, too. 

Okay, here is a quote for today, just to brighten yours:  "does Jesus lose His glow when He is underwater?"  

A Little Dose of Mayhem

Today I dropped my housework to stop and read with my six year-old, who has picked up a surprising amount in just a few days.  We had a little picnic on the porch for lunch, which is when things started to get interesting.  My baby fell off a step and scraped his head and his leg, and my girls would take a chipmunk-sized bite out of their grilled cheese sandwiches and then get up to dance, pick flowers (weeds), or retrieve the chocolate milk from the fridge, which was promptly spilled and I had to clean it up while fending off cute baby.  I was feeling behind, and tired, though I tried to be a good sport.  I'm sure lucky to be their mom, even when things don't go exactly as planned.

Day 2

Walked with my kiddos to school on day 2; it was a great chance to chat with the school-aged kids (10 and 8).  It was a beautiful morning.  I took the youngest three on a detour to see some birds at a local bird refuge.  It made for a long walk, but it was so nice!  I'm finally doing things I've wanted to for so long!  I was a bit behind on my dishes and housework but I felt energized by doing something meaningful.  I did get them done quicker than I normally do, though my large pile of laundry was still sitting on my bedroom floor when I went to bed. 


On our walk, I was thinking about what people remember about you when you are gone.  I have never wondered if Abraham Lincoln's toilets were clean or if Mother Teresa had stylish clothes.  I tend to stress over my unmopped bathroom floor, the 20 pounds I need to lose, or that one of the weeds in my yard may very well be large enough to impale someone.  I know my kids care more about how I treat them, what I teach them, and what kind of memories we make together than about the size of my waist (though that is definitely on my list of to dos!).

 

Day One

Our first day went well!  I helped my cute 6 year old practice her reading, which was long overdue.  She had a little notebook and started writing the things we were working on in it (we worked a little on her phone and address, too).  She wrote in these super tiny letters and put different sized circles around the information.  It wasn't until she was almost done that I realized she had made a snowman!  It was so cute.  She had info in the hat and each of the different sized snowballs.  We laminated it for fun and she carried it around the rest of the day.   I remembered that when my son was small, he said one day, "Mom, snowmen don't have legs, they just have balls."  Its times like these I want to make the most of.  Today was a good day!

This is It

Today I'm starting my 5 for 50 Project-- a parenting project designed to make the most of my time with my young children. I'm trying to look ahead so I can look back with no regrets.

 I want my children to get the best start possible-- I know if I invest heavily over the next five years it will pay dividends for them over the next 50 and forever (at least that is my hope). At one point I realized that though right now I feel like I have little free time, I may have up to 50 years myself to do things I've always wanted to do, like run a marathon, get more education, volunteer, and write a book. When I do finally have that time, I'm sure I'll look back on now as the best time of my life. I know that investing in a child will be the most valuable work I'll ever do.