Day 5 - A Wall

I hit a wall on day 5.  The morning couldn't have gone better-- getting up early and exercising didn't leave me nearly as tired and I got a lot more things done early.  By afternoon, though, my baby was super super fussy.  He'd been sick, and though I thought he was getting better, he took a turn for the worse.  He would cry to be held, then cry to get down, then cry to be held.  He'd cry and act like he needed to eat, then cry and spit everything out.  Poor baby.  We went to the doc and got some medicine, a steroid, to help control the inflammation in his airways.  But this seemed to make him even more fussy and sleepless.  Finally I read on the side effects sheet that the medicine prescribed can cause jitters, sleeplessness, and reduce their ability to fight off infection.  And this is supposed to help?  I was so frustrated that I got my older kids to help a little so I could do the bare minimum of sweep the floor, throw the dishes in the dishwasher, and put something on the table for dinner. 

I realized two things about this portion of my project:

1.  it is imperative that I be flexible with my plans-- holding a sick baby, putting Rapunzel's dress on for the umpteenth time...these things will mean as much to my kids as the planned activities.

2.  showing empathy is one of the most important things I can do for my kids.

These things will foster contentment, self esteem, and empathy in my own kids, even though they're hard to do in the moment.

Last realization:

3.  Even on bad days, I can look to troubles as a sign of my blessings.  The Fruit Loops ground to fairy powder in my purse mean that I have some special little people to love.  Love this book by Emily Watts.

I tried to change my thinking when baby woke up at 5 am after going to bed at 11 and crying some at 4.  As I was holding him in the dark, eyes closed with exhaustion, I realized how lucky I am!  I have a sweet, healthy baby to hold and love!  ...and I tried to just enjoy the moment.  Some day I'll have plenty of sleep but no more tears to wipe, hair to smooth, or bundles of chubby baby to rock.