A Little Bend in the Road

Over the last week, I think I reached the first real bend in my road.  The one where I think I just want to sit down on a rock and rest a bit.  Ok, maybe forever.

I've had a few setbacks, and I've been a little discouraged.   (BTW, this months resolutions are NOT happening!)

Then I realized a few things. 

One day, feeling down, I sat at the computer and nursed baby.  I was grumpy because I had a lot to do.  I started wondering why I'm doing this-- it is hard to find time for the things I need to do, let alone want to do.  Then I looked down at his face.  And he looked up at me with those big brown eyes and smiled that smile that is meant only for Mom.  The one that tells me I am his universe right now.  And everything else.  And I realized THIS.  THIS is why I'm doing my project.  For that little face, and four others.  And not for any other reason.  Not for my health, or sanity, or pocketbook, or figure.



I read this quote (here, one of my favorite posts of Stephanie Nielsen, their back-to-school feast):


Photo credit: Justin Hackworth

I read this quote (here):


And saw this video via Design Mom (TEARS)-- so beautiful and inspiring, about a French Designer and how one letter to Mother Theresa changed her life:



"Come, all hands are needed." 

New favorite quote.  Reminds me not to get so caught up in life's little details that I miss the big picture.

I remembered that God is on my side, and He will help me, and make up for the things I give up along the way.

That my blessings far outnumber my challenges.   I just need to take a step back and see them! 

And a few principles I've learned along the way.

1.  Habits make hard things easier.

2.  Taking care of myself is important-- when I don't get enough rest, or nutritious food, it undermines my ability to care for others and be kind or patient with others. 

3.  Little aggravations are common in any relationship, especially marriage.  How I handle those little things can either create an ulcer or a pearl, depending on how those minor aggravations are handled. 

4.  Instead of complaining or venting, maybe a gratitude list is in order:  the baby smell on my hands, the way the mountains look like russet velvet, the little drawing or note left on the counter, the mountain of laundry that shows I have lots of people to influence, care for, and love.



(this picture of a "duck" was presented to me with pride this morning!  Isn't that the most darling duck?  It is gray and look at all those webbed feet!  I got a major kick out of this)

5.  The biggest hurdle to doing something good is simply starting that thing.  I am so tempted by all my busy to-do's to cut out the time with the kids or cancel a date or tell the family they can't come over.  But as soon as I have begun said activity, my load is lightened and I am so glad I didn't give up prematurely.

6.  Doing things for others is the quickest way for me out of the doldrums.  I finally sent off my "Hondeydukes" package to a friend and instantly felt my day brighten. (more about this later)

Hard days aren't forever.  I have to be flexible, looking for ways to readjust if needed, and remember my priorities.   These days won't last forever.

Baby Explores Poem

I must delay updating you on my project for one more day, as I am super pooped today.  Up in the night for 2 hours with a little sick one.  Here is a little poem I wrote about my baby and our sometime explorings while little girl is in dance.  I wanted to edit it some more, but I can always do that later.   And sorry, its kind of like an epic poem, as it describes an hour in detail.  :)

Do you ever do this?  Let the little one direct the activity?  What was your experience?  I would like to do it more.


Exploring the Woods

I let you explore the woods today,
I followed you like a bear cub momma in
Reverse.
When you'd stop,
I'd stop.
Out a glass door
With a plastic VW bug
In one hand
And an orange shoe in the other.
I could see the top of your soft
Ginger head,
Toddling up and down,
Calculating,
Then going.
First down the ramp.
Time to smell the flowers.
You bent at the waist,
Sniffing loudly
Inches away from
A red prickly bush.
Then out into the parking lot,
Between two cars,
Then back again.
Then out again,
Across a crumbly
Blacktop
With bright yellow
Painted lines
And empty cars.
Head to the right,
And the left,
Deciding,
Not delaying.
Making lots of decisions in
Nanoseconds.
We've neared an office building
Flower bed,
Strewn with brightly colored poppies,
Strung like beads on a child's
Necklace.
Now you've got it,
Sniffing a quarter inch from
a bare yellow
pollinator.
Then off
To try your first
Revolving door,
Air compressing around us,
Like astronauts
In a cosmonaut.
Then decompressing.
I wonder if anyone will wonder why we're in here.
You wander down a black alien
zig-zag carpet corridor
to the left,
Smelling of papers and coffee and work.
Then back out the door,
As the outside rushes in to greet us,
Then back in,
Then back out.
Off to smell one more flower,
Then marching off,
Occasional head turning to make sure
Momma bear is following.
You turn at the big road,
Noticing a grumbling
school bus
Make its way down the road.
Then you turn toward a tree,
examining something,
But recoil when I run my
Finger down its bark,
Making a dry
Scrraaaaatch.
You're not touching that.
Off you go again.
On the homestretch,
You leave the path to try
out an army green
Plastic
Cover
Recessed in the growing grass.
Bump, a hollow sound--
Then again.
You were leary of the blue one,
another tree's bark (not touching that either),
and not sure you want to go back.
Inside,
I sat on the green velvet couch,
Sunk in,
Beckoned, entreated, invited you
To try a book with me.
The sun was pouring lines around
A tangerine velvet button couch
And bright carpet flowers.
You looked, squoze
Between a pillar and the window
And then looked at me
from the circles
under the stairs,
Your face like a little spy
Who'd discovered a secret world,
And then got discovered himself.
Giggled.
Eyes looking at me through
Different holes,
Wondering if the result would be the same.
"I SEE YOU!"
Baby laugh.
The most musical sound in the world.
(Baby delight=
My delight!)
Then you decided Christopher Columbus
had not had enough,
Following wafting sounds
Into another room.
When I caught up,
You were framed in the doorway,
There was a stage.
A blonde in short exercise clothes and tan muscles
Was building a set with another man.
They were putting up some gauzy-curtains
By a big French clock.
There was a guillotine with a
big red half-polka dot
Blood-stain on a lifted blade.
Michael Jackson was floating
on  the breeze.

Little Moby Dick was having a day.

Little Angels

Once a year our kids sing in church with all the other kids 12 and under.  It is my favorite.  Not only is it so fun to watch them sing, and smile, and even sneak in a little (or big) wave, it is also fun to see the beautiful and childlike innocence of all the children, as they beam proudly upon parents and grandparents and sing about who they really are, lifting that little veil for a minute and reminding all of us that what we are shooting for in life is to become more like those little angels in our care. 

On a side note, I bought myself some slacks, and I've almost returned them many times.  Even though I got a great deal.  And I never wear heels except to church.  These are too big.   I realized I have not had a good picture taken of me for years.  Years.  That maybe I should actually do my hair and try a little harder, at least for a picture!  So I put on some clothes that still have tags because I'm still undecided and I asked my 3 year old to take my picture before I changed my mind.  She was pretty cute, shooting that camera every which way and holding her finger on the trigger like she was a drunken cowboy shooting an automatic weapon alone in a desert night.  But she did a pretty good job.  And she gave me tons of compliments, which was cute.  And tried on the shoes.

How was your weekend?  It is getting colder here.  It's fun to break out the boots and sweaters.  Project update tomorrow!  :)

Funny Little Days

 

An un-ordinary ordinary day around here.  Made a Honeydukes Harry Potter treat box for a friend, almost burning my finger off, an eerie spider visited and my kids grabbed the camera (letting the little feller wander off to do his thing after they were done doing theirs), a little girl who kept calling candy corns "acorns" and wanted them close, very close, until she has had something healthy in order to qualify for an "acorn" to eat, and a little boy who looks down at his shirt and says "truck," even when there are none, so the sucker of a momma bought him another truck shirt (got another great deal!).  (When he plays ring around the rosies, for ashes, ashes, he sings "tractor, tractor.....truck!" (for all fall down)

What did you do today?  I tried to make sense of my dusty study and put some books on my new shelves.  So exciting!  I had some helpers, some dancers, and a little boy who has learned how to say "Hold Nee [me]!  HURRY!"  (I'm discovering I must say that word a little too much)

He is such a copy cat when I was looking at some women's clothes while I waited for one of my girls to try on a shirt for her Halloween costume, he leaned over just like a little woman and pulled a shirt barely aside and said "cute!"  WHAT IS THIS BOY LEARNING FROM ME?  It is downright scary!  Did you see his toenails?  What do you think?  Good mom or bad one?  He would emit a high pitched squeak and put his foot right next to Ava's when I did hers.  One toe was not enough to stop the squeaking noise.  After his toes were done he was so proud!

We rarely kill insects in our house, we usually take them outside in a cup, maybe you think this is weird or gross, but I swear it has helped my kids to be more empathetic and respectful of life.  I try REALLY hard not to say "ick" even though I'm often thinking it!  Even then, we don't quite take it to this extreme.  Kind of funny, don't you think?  What do you do with bugs at your house?  Do you have a certified bug remover-- a certain member of the family designated for this task? 

Three Favorite Halloween Books

I had some photos without the little pointing finger, but isn't that little finger just adorable?  Every day I pinch myself when I realize that while my kids are growing faster than I can possibly fathom these days, I still have a chubby little baby to snuggle and a toddler who says cute little things and a six year old who can't bite an apple because she is missing so many front teeth and a nine year-old who still loves my hugs and an eleven year old who still cries when he doesn't understand his homework.  :)

Off the subject.

Here are some favorite Halloween books. 

1.  Dark Emperor and Other Poems of the Night by Joyce Sidman, Illustrated by Rick Allen. 

It seems unusual, but this picture book is a Newberry Honor Book.  There is a good reason.  It is full of gorgeous poems about moths and spiders and owls.  Gorgeous.  Made me realize I really don't know how to write.  These will be better understood by older kids (9 and up), but I read them to my little ones in small doses and drink in all those luscious words, hoping to expose them young to such a beautiful art.  There are little scientific facts written in the margins about the particular animal or creature in each poem.  This is not technically a Halloween book, but I think this is the perfect time of year for such a book!

2.  The Ghost's Dinner, by Jacques Duquennoy.

This is one of our family favorites.  Simple, not tons of words, cute illustrations about ghosts who have a dinner party.  You will be surprised to see what ghosts look like when they have certain foods to eat!  This one is always a delight.

3.  Room on the Broom, by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler.

Another year-round favorite.  This one is about a witch who loses various articles as she flies through the air, such as her hat, and the creatures who help her find them and join her on her broom.  A cute story about friendship, it is written in a lyrical rhyming style and while it has a minor scary part, the scary turns comic quickly to the delight of my children.

What are your favorite Halloween books?  See here for a link to 10 Halloween books reviewed by Amy Hackworth via Design Mom (incidentally, Room on the Broom is one of them). 

Spooky Cute

 

(More about this little girl and her outfit toward the bottom of the post) :)

We are big Harry Potter fans around here.  Especially one of my girls.

For some movies that may be too scary for older kids, we've started having occasional (very occasional) "movie dates" with our older kids.  Any time those dates involve Harry Potter, said girl will dress up like Hermoine and we have chocolate frogs and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.  I bought a case of these last year because who knows when they will stop making them (they stopped once before, and you could only find them under the label "Beanboozled.")  So this time I stocked up and they are a special treat we save for nights like these. 


This night we watched the first one, so the little kids could participate too (we always forward the Voldemort parts with the littlest ones).

 

At one point I looked and the kids had all snuggled together under a blanket on the floor.

On Sunday, after a beautiful afternoon enjoying our church's general conference on TV, we went to Great Grandma's for dinner.  On the way out the door I noticed that my three year old had changed into her Halloween PJ top and had a trick-or-treat bag slung over her shoulder like a purse (she has been lugging it around a lot, it has mandarin oranges, a Rapunzel wig, and battery powered candles inside, you know, just in case).  :)  She was so dang cute I had to take a picture.  Unbeknownst to me, other kids were queueing up, sidling in, smiling, waiting for their turn!  So cute.

 

How was your weekend?  My husband spent much of the weekend putting our tomatoes up before it is too late.  He made some yummy tomato sauce and froze it.  We can't seem to eat normal tomato sauce any more.  What do you do with your tomatoes?

We had a really great experience this weekend.  Can't wait to blog about it tomorrow. 
 

Sort of Horrifically Funny

(Got this whoopee pie mix from Target.  Too bad my mad domestic skills turned out frosting that looked a lot like curdled milk.  But it tasted good-- like butter with a bit of vanilla flavoring. :)  And this spider looks more like a black crab.) 

Some funnies that have happened here lately.

My six year old daughter came home from school while I was changing baby's diaper.  She sat down on the floor next to me in her bright turquoise polka dot shirt, with her yellow hair in wispy curls around her face, like she'd been playing hard at recess that day.  She looked at me with her big gray-ish green eyes and told me all about her day with breathless excitement, the gap in her bottom teeth revealing a short one trying to wriggle its way in.  She said she "was-in-the-library-and-did-you-know-that-Avery-picked-out-a-book-about-a-girl-with-a-green-ribbon-around-her-neck-and, [big eyed pause] if-you-took-the-ribbon-off-her-neck-her-head-would-fall-off?  [sort of horrified look]  Then, as I'm taking it in during her pause, thinking she would think that was scary or weird or disgusting, she said, with an expectant sigh, her eyes widening further, "I wanna get that book."  "Avery-said-I-can-have-it-when-she-is-done-and-I-think-she-is-almost-done-and-do-you-think-she'll-turn-it-in-tomorrow?"

We were talking about dislocations and broken bones while at the dinner table (yum), when the same girl asked  in all seriousness if one can dislocate his/her bum crack.

We've been having little ones get up in the night since school started.  For a while it was both the littlest, getting up in little relays all night long.  (the three year old is now sleeping through the night, since we moved her bed into the nursery next to our room) 

On the night a month ago when I only had my nine year-old and the baby, I let them both sleep with me.  I had crazy delusions that after they were in bed I'd go watch a movie.  But the baby was NOT tired.  While I was getting ready for bed, my nine year old was teaching the baby to lie down on the bed when she said "asleep."  Then she'd say "awake!"  And they'd sit bolt upright and giggle.  Well, after more than two hours I could not get him to sleep!  I finally resorted to lying down with both of them, in a sleepy cloudy stupor as the minutes ticked on and on.  Around 11:30 he stopped just wiggling and started sitting bolt upright and saying "awake!"  over and over.  It made us laugh.  Good, so I didn't cry.

Last night Ava (three years old) said, when it was time to go upstairs "I'm scared of the night.  That the monsters will gobble me.  I'll have to die if they gobble me up and then I'll have dinosaur spit on me."   Sad she is scared.  But cute little saying.

Baby came toddling up to me sans diaper, actually holding his diaper in one of his hands.  Then he said "spill."  I said "show me?"  And he bent his knees and craned his neck over his prodtruding belly and looked right at the offending party in the "spill."  Then I got it. :)

Happy weekend!  I'm super excited for one of my favorite times of year in church, when the prophet/apostles speak.  Anyone can watch, not just Mormons.  See here.

I've worked on my organization this week, but I'm a bit behind!  I'm hoping to wrap up my planning by the end of the weekend; when I'm done I'll let you know how it went.  Until then, I'll miss you, friends!