Funny Little Things

Some funny little happenings around here. 

We went to my cousin's wedding.  I left my house in a huge mess, worried I wouldn't be ready for the scout party the next day, but it worked out okay.  We had a wonderful time in a little outdoor area at the wedding, sitting under trees filtering afternoon sunlight and the sounds of a little waterfall and children playing in gravelly rocks in their vests and bow ties.  My ten year-old sat by my grandma and explained to her his drinking problem-- he has always loved to drink and drink and drink at meals and sometimes has to be told it's time to eat, too.  He collects bottles, and they giggled and emptied some bottles for him and recruited other's bottles too.  (thanks, Grandma) :)  She is in a wheelchair for the first time in her life.  I saw them sitting there talking and laughing (he didn't leave her side all evening) and I realized if I'd stayed home to clean my house I would have missed this.  Who knows how many more memories I will have of my grandma. 

The other night the same son and I were returning from scouts when we saw some young children on our corner selling something from a brown vinyl folding table.  A mom shouted from a nearby porch swing: "Just so you know, I have no idea what they are selling!"   So we put on our best faces and checked out their wares.  There was a bag of microwave popped popcorn and a big orange drink cooler thing.  My son leaned over to me and giggle-whispered: "Mom, their sign says poop corn!"  We asked how much.  They said one dollar.  We plopped down our dollar (sorry, husband), and then opened the orange cooler and the ice cream bucket floating in water inside, to reveal an iceberg with shards of freezer burnt ice cream floating in a pool of melted creamy white.  They just looked at us.  We looked at them.  Then I asked "do you want us to dish it up ourselves?"  "Yes!" they said.  Oh boy.  :)  On the way home, my son laughed, "Mom, I think we got ripped off."

I found this left for me on the counter one day.  It has my name and my Ava's name, with pronated stick figures and some flowers.  They collected a flower for me (from my yard) along with some tree leaves and duct taped them into a bouquet.  So sweet.  :)



This is the goofiest video. My nine year old figured out how to do this weird effect on my phone. The best is at 1:25 (I think she has a lemon drop in her mouth), after that its just more of the same.





This little girl made her bed by herself!  The look on her face when I praised her (maybe I'm not a lost cause yet) was priceless.  When I asked if she had done it by herself, she closed her eyes and nodded her head several times with the cutest little pleased pixie smile on her face.

Me Happening to Life, Not My Life Happening to Me?

This week I'm trying to get (a little) organized.  I'm already learning I'm a more patient parent when things run smoothly.  This is what I'm doing for my spouse this month, too, since we are more patient with each other when things are organized and under control.

After each of my children I've had to eventually make a schedule for myself, usually when life gets a little more predictable, when my baby is between 12 and 18 months (closer to 18 months).  I function so much better when I have an idea of what I should be doing when.  My kids secretly enjoy a little routine, too, so this helps them too.

I'm a little embarrassed to put my own schedule on here, don't ask me why, but I wondered if it might help someone out there who is struggling with this same issue.  I found examples of other mom's schedules here (I especially enjoyed this one, very well thought out) and here and here.  Some of them have great tips for schedule making, not just the schedules themselves.

In the past, when I've done a schedule, I've noticed that simple is better.  Hour blocks work the best for me.  Then I can memorize my schedule and have a rough idea of what I should be doing.  Otherwise, it is so easy to get swallowed up in the black hole of an entire unscheduled day, haphazardly going from task to task.

Many moms suggest working around set things like meals, naptimes, school start times, etc.  Flylady recommends taking 15 minute breaks every so often, I guess I just prefer having a whole hour at naptime or bedtime than breaking up my tasks during the day.

Maybe another reason the hour blocks work for me is it allows for a little flexibility.  I can nurse baby on demand, change diapers, find a bandaid, or clean up a spill and I'm not messing up an up-to-the-minute schedule.

I don't always follow these to the letter (and then only Mon-Fri), but it gives a basic structure to my day that makes a world of difference.  (Oh, and I do have a separate schedule for the school year.  Each year I have to tweak these a little or periodically if I see something isn't working out.)

I have a binder I put copy of my schedule in, along with the kids' jobs in sheet protectors, as well as a list of family jobs we are supposed to do together each Saturday (ha ha, haven't actually done these in a year, but that is about to change).

The items with these {} are kid's items, or what the kids should be doing when.

Summer Schedule

 5:45  Arise

5:55  Exercise

7:00  Shower, get ready for the day, make bed,  start laundry, scripture study

{7:45} kids up

7:45  Breakfast, me

8:00  Breakfast for kids, devotional (5 min inspirational story or one of these), clean up breakfast

8:30  Comb hair, {big kids - shower/bath}, tidy bathroom

9:00  Family job for 20, clean downstairs

9:45 Upstairs (switch off every other day)

10:30 Quality time with kids

11:30  Lunch, clean up

12:15  Stories

12:30 {Nap, little ones}(set up craft)

12:45 Blog /power nap {TV time/quiet time}

1:45  {Craft, kids, or 15 min individual time with mom}

2:00  Calling/plan next day/organize/email

2:45  Kid time - snack

3:00 Day Jobs*, pick up house

4:00 Prep Dinner/phone calls

5:00 Dinner, clean up

6:00 Outside time (bikes, walk, etc)

7:00 Ready for bed, stories

7:45 {Kids read in bed time} Get baby ready for bed

8:00 Time with Mom (one kid per night)

8:10 Lights out for big kids, stories with baby, nurse baby

8:30 Husband time/"me" time

9:30  Lights out

Monday – Laundry,  Tuesday – Dust/shopping, Wednesday – *, Thursday – Laundry, Friday – Vacuum, Saturday - *, Laundry, Bathroom


*Mop, clean car, organize a room, yard work

Brave

Kids are already feeling much better (whew!)-- I was bracing for the worst since last time we got sick it lasted so long!

We went to see the film Brave.  We don't go to movies very often (we definitely make up for it at home), so it was a real treat.  My nine year-old said, "it feels like we're about to get on a rollercoaster!"  We were late, so little legs were in a whirlwind of excitement as we breezed through the doors and past golden-popped popcorn.  Little baby sitting on my hip in his tight monkey shirt, wondering what this was about as we had a little happy twirl to the music on our way in.

We sat there, under the flash and fire of the movie screen, bundle of snuggly baby in my lap, and I looked down the row of delighted and entranced faces, all upturned with wonder.  It reminded me of the first paragraph in this.  Little surge of -- these are mine.  It was just as fun to watch them as it was to watch the movie-- and it was a refreshing (if a bit scary for little ones) film. 

And man, I actually related to the main character and to her mother (with the fine balancing act of being a mother myself), as at her age I was never into sewing or anything remotely domestic (see here) (always loved kids, though), and I'm still not great at most domestic-type things.  It was a touching story about the bond and the strain between a mother and daughter as they grow together.


Funny? For today-- my cute three spilled an entire bottle of Elmer's glue in a gooey white puddle on the table and the floor and it was in a clumpy mess in her hair.

Here is a website a friend pointed me to that has helped me check movies beforehand to see if they will be appropriate for my little ones.  It is also good for video games and books, as it gives an age level of appropriateness as well as a red, yellow, or green light for content, ie, green light for 10 and up.

Vroom

We had some fun things planned for this week, but our plans have had to be modified since all five kids are sick and I'm on the verge, too.  So we went out for milk on Monday morning, all of us :), mostly alone in the early morning in our pj's and uncombed hair.  We picked out some fruit to try--fruits that aren't native to where we live.  We ended up having a wonderful day.  We came home and sampled our fruit.  The verdict: kumquats, great.  Guava, next favorite.  Dragon fruit: overripe but still okay.  It was like taking a trip without actually leaving our house.

Emerson has suddenly taken an interest in cars.  The other day he had a train in one hand and a car in the other and would not part with them for anything.  So after our fruit excursion we decided to race our cars. 

Some day I'm so going to miss those little hands!

Then I remembered an idea I saw on Pinterest. (I wish I could link to it, here is something else cute and easy I saw on Pinterest)

I realized at one point I had to get from behind the camera or I was going to miss it!  I vroomed my car enthusiastically and promptly got pulled over by a "policeman."  We had good laughs as we traded roles-- I was the bad guy a lot, crashing into other cars and driving recklessly into trees and off roads.  I was repeatedly put in jail by my laughing ten year old.  I remembered how fun this is!

They expanded my roads and added a "peach tree forest" (made of pine trees).  After I left to make lunch, I overheard them electing a "president."  They each took turns telling why they wanted to be president and what they would do, things such as: build new roads, maintain the car "hospital," improve the economy, create jobs, and defeat bad guys. Ha ha.  I didn't even know they knew about these kind of things.  They elected a new president every so often, with each child taking a turn.  They played at this all day (very little TV, and no other messes to worry about!).  The only melt down was when my six year-old came crying, really crying, that she "wasn't a good president" and couldn't be consoled. 

It was a good sick day (I know they don't look sick, but everyone has a nasty dry, hacking cough). 

This Month (3) (good)

It's month three, and this month I'm going to add some flexibility into my project. 

For the first week, I'm going to work on organization (surprise!) :).  I feel I need to be more specific with my resolutions from now on, since some of my more amorphous goals have gotten me into trouble in the past.  :)  Before I start my list, I'm going to pick up the book The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Boyack, which has jobs broken down according to age group and tips on helping children learn how to work.

1)  Update my kids' job charts for the summer (we use this)
2)  Set some simple, concrete family goals and rules like this
3)  Finish my budget
4)  Review the schedule I made last month and start using it :)
5)  Go through the house with the kids and pull out things for a yard sale
6)  Review the Saturday cleaning list I made last month and start using it

After my week's worth of organizing, I'm going to take a small break from The Five Love Languages of Children to work with my kids on learning how to work.  This will be my well refiller for this month, too, as I focus on being more productive myself.

                                                     
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Here is some humor for today:

I just took a break from blogging because my six said "Mom, come, it's an emergency!"  Lets just say someone had an accident on the wood floor and was happily stomping up and down in her own puddle.

Yesterday the same girl told me "Mom, my tummy wants to watch another show."

Just now she was shouting angrily through a closed door at her sister: "I'm about to get very angry!"

A Day at the Lake

I enjoyed so much this day, away from other cares and responsibilities.  And it was nice to see our extended family.  And the lake was gorgeous.  I always feel so refueled when I have a day like this.  (BTW, this is something I learned, regarding my resolution from the first month about spending time with my kiddos, that sometimes I have to get out to spend quality time with them because otherwise I'm too distracted by my house-- its never truly done, right?)

We had a great day, minus some sick kiddos, then it was so nice to come home, get clean, and sleep in my own bed.

 

A little cousin lovin'.

 My cute nephew.  It was his brother's birthday. 

 Making ice cream.

 Emerson's first time wearing shoes!  (Mommy, control your heart!)  Once he got the hang of it, he was all over the place, exploring and making friends with neighboring campers.

You Is Kind, You Is Special, You Is Important

6/25/12:  I just realized I made a big oops!  Oh boy.  The quote from The Help is: "you is kind, you is smart, you is important."  Sorry.

Recently I read an article about this address, in which the son of David McCullough (one of my very favorite authors) told a high school graduating class that they were not special.

For full disclosure, I have not actually read his speech, only the write-up in the newspaper.  It got me thinking-- am I doing my kids a disservice by teaching them they are special?  (this is not a critique of his speech, just thoughts on what it means to be special :))

It depends on how you define special.  If you mean: entitled to benefits without working for them, better than others, teaching them their mediocre is great, or teaching them they deserve constant praise even when they haven't earned it, then yes that would be doing my kids a disservice (see here).

I have to admit, a popular kid's movie rubbed me the wrong way the first time I saw it, because of a line the gist of which is: saying everyone is special is the same as saying no one is.  Which is another way of saying only a few people are "special," which could lead to narcissism (I'm better than others) or low self esteem (I'm not one of the chosen few).  Either way, bad.  Why not believe everyone is special and unique in his or her own way?  Not that everyone has physical abilities worthy of being an Olympian, but that each person has unique potential to bless others if they work toward magnifying their own individual talents?  Those talents might be something as simple as being easy to get along with, forgiving others easily, being good with his/her hands.   Not everyone can be prime minister or a gold medalist, but anyone can be kind and hard working, for example.  Special is about working hard because you believe in your potential, not the opposite. 

I've learned that it's difficult for me to rise above what I believe about myself.  The times when I'm the most down on myself are times when I accomplish practically nothing.  When I believe in myself, I am more likely to achieve more and be more kind and positive with others along the way.

For me, special means: having intrinsic worth just by being alive, with endless potential as one of God's children.  Every child is special.


I loved the character Aibileen in The Help.  As the black maid to an impatient white mother, she worked every day to show love and compassion and kindness to the woman's little Mae Mobley, telling her every day "you is kind, you is special, you is important."  It pricked my heart a little, because I don't know how many times I've brushed my kids thoughtlessly aside in my busy or stressed moments (I know I can't be perfect, but I can be better), like Mae Mobley's mother.  Do I, even once in a day, or even a week, lovingly take them in my arms and tell them they are kind, special, and important?  Or do I get too caught up in making the sandwich, cleaning the bathroom, stocking the toilet paper cupboard :) to stop and remember to do this? That is why I'm doing this project, so I can look back with no regrets.  So my kids know, no matter what choices they make in life, or where life takes them, that I love them for who they are.  So they'll believe in themselves and work to become that.  Or not.  But at least I will have done my part.

If my kids believe that everyone is special and important, just for being alive, for breathing this air, then I hope they'll learn the most important lesson I want them to learn: helping others is one of the highest things we can reach for.  And it doesn't diminish me, it enhances me.  Because we are all unique and special in our own way, and that is wonderful.


I'm still a believer in consequences.  My child shouldn't get special treatment if he/she doesn't deserve it.  But whether the experts agree or not, I'm going to be telling my kids from now on just how kind, special, and important I think they are.  :)





What are your thoughts on being "special?"  Next week is a new month!  I'm excited for a new resolution and interested to evaluate this month and see what I've learned.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Update:  I found this link to do  DIY shirt for baby that says "I am Kind...I am Smart (ha ha)..." here.  So cute.