My kids surprised me yesterday. I had to harness my inner drill sergeant at the very first (SO hard for me, I do not have a drill sergeant personality), but after a bit these kids were working together and actually enjoying it. See the third picture? Ten year-old was singing and whistling "Whistle While You Work," (see his lips?). As I look back on this month, we had our tragedies and triumphs and maniacal laughs. See below for a recap.
Just in case you're new here, here is a quick recap of my project so far. I'm working on making the most of the next five years with my kids to give them the best next 50 and forever (just like the time value of money). :) I'm using this blog to track my progress and memorize those beautiful little moments each day as they pass.
Another main purpose of this blog is to keep my perspective in focus-- remembering that I will some day be able to travel, have a hobby, use the bathroom alone, and have a clean house, but I can't come back and snuggle a chubby baby, read a story, or wipe little tears. I have one shot at giving them a good life, and this is it. My most viewed post is a poem about perspective-- here. Or this one, just featured on BlogHer (to my total surprise! I almost deleted it!).
Included in my project are collateral areas that affect my parenting, such as my relationship with my spouse and Heavenly Father, including keeping myself replenished so I have enough to give. As inspired by Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, each month's resolutions carry over to the next month.
Each month, I hit a wall roughly a week into a new resolution. It was a good experience to learn to lean on God more and ask for His help in overcoming my weaknesses and change my heart. One of the other overarching things I've learned through each month is that if I focus on communicating love, the kids forgive my shortcomings and mistakes (there are lots, trust me).
(If you scroll over to the top right, a gray box will appear. There is one marked "labels," that will lead you to different post topics.)
Month 1:
* Worked on quality time with kids each day, twice a month dates with husband, exercise each morning, to name a few. See recap of month one here.
Month 2:
* Worked on speaking positively to and about my kids. Still noticing how organization (or lack thereof! mostly that!), cleanliness around the house, and a good night's rest aid or abet this goal. :) Recap, see here.
Month 3 (see goals here):
* Took the first week and worked on organization-- made a set of goals and rules. This was great at helping me see the big picture. Updated my kid's job charts for the summer.
* For spouse-- worked on a budget. Embarrassing, I noticed how much money I spent on eating out. (it seemed like every other entry was "Little Caesar's!"-- guaranteed the other nights we were eating cereal for dinner) Note a bit of foreshadowing here as I prepare for next month. :) I learned that more important than how much a couple makes is the different partner's attitudes toward money. Found this website through Parent's Magazine, its called Find Your Money Mind ( here ). It helps couples find out how they view money and facilitates communication with spouse/partner. Very interesting!
* For myself and the kids, I focused this month on Hard Work. After nearly 12 years of being pregnant or nursing most the time, I was in a major energy rut. Just the simple "act the way you want to feel," from The Happiness Project, helped a lot. Acting energetic helped me feel energetic (not saying I'm great, but improved enough to be pleased about it). Gretchen Rubin did a great write-up about improving energy levels on her blog yesterday-- see here.
* I wanted to help my kids learn to really value work, and I gave a lesson on work one night, seemed like it really sunk in (see here); while it really helped me to remember the value of work it made no external life difference that I can see in my kids. :)
* I read The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Boyack. This gave some inspiration and encouragement and guidance in the realm of teaching kids how to work. I will have to pick this element up again in a few months. I was worried my kids would complain when I told them about the new jobs and skills they would be learning in the next couple of months, and they totally surprised me by being mildly excited! (just a clue, I found the above mentioned book on my nine year old's bookcase by her bed...just a little light reading to make her sleepy) Also, I stepped back and let them do more for themselves and they loved it! (a big "duh!" for me, I guess)
* Made a schedule for myself-- biggest joke of all time! I didn't even do it once! Did I forget that this is summer? And I have a baby? I will try again in a few months.
* We limited TV time to one hour at a specific time of day for the summer, if their chores aren't done they get an hour of quiet time in their rooms while the other kids watch.
They totally surprised me on this one! I thought they'd cry and make a big fuss every day about the TV and they act like they've hardly even noticed! I was hoping my new TV rule would help them work harder, faster in the morning (something my husband wants them to learn). It only did about half the time. Many other days they just played and played all morning with no concern over jobs. Only one day were there some major tears over this, when I made them go to their rooms for quiet time when jobs weren't done. (I also had to be a bit flexible on this-- went for a hike early so it wouldn't be too hot, so I extended time for them to do jobs when we got home)
It didn't help them learn how to work harder, faster, like I'd envisioned, but at least they were playing and not watching TV! And this, coupled with some really fun outings this month...I think they are closer to each other than they've been in a while. Just this morning, for example, they played "nation," by arranging tiny rocks and airsoft pellets into elaborate formations on the floor.
* My two jars-- mystery motivators and extra jobs jar....well, these produced just okay results.
You're sick of me by now. I'm sick of myself, too.
I'm excited for next month! We've definitely had our ups and downs but things are more up than down. And I feel so much more fulfilled than I did before my project, and my kids seem happier. There is an energy booster right there.
What are you doing this weekend? Do you have any tips that have helped you teach your kids the value of work? Or organization tips?
