Contrail

1. con·trail

noun /ˈkänˌtrāl/  A trail of condensed water from an aircraft or rocket at high altitude, seen as a white streak against the sky* Today The stroller left Three tracks In the dry brown dirt, Slow contrails From a micro trip Through tall yellow grass, Cattails glittering with dew-glass, And sun-crowned Scottish thistles. The sounds of a diminutive metropolis Hum around us-- Crickets chirruping contentedly, Songbirds babbling, trill-flit, The steady chuck-chuck of a Pasture sprinkler, And a horse Chewing in time. You point a chubby finger, Pausing for the word Your mouth hasn't tasted yet. I love your round Cheeks, Orange tiger-striped Jammas, And your expression, Discovering the world. Content today To make slow contrails in the dirt And watch an airplane hurry on her way, Trailing a silver buttermilk cloud As she rises over A hazy mountain With a faint buzz And disappears. Some day I'll be tracing my finger Across the sky, Watching your contrails As you hurry off to conquer the world. The little pointing finger Will be gone, And I'll remember this bucolic morning, My little boy's Tubby figure clad in Tiger-striped jammas, Looking at me as if I were the whole world. When it's my turn to fly over that Mountain, High up on my way to Arrivederci, I'll crane my neck And strain my eyes, Not for India's Mahal, But for a little Dirt path In the leaning afternoon grass And a little boy Frozen in time. This post based on this day. *Contrail definition by Google*

Worth It

Going to publish a poem, but realized there is a story behind the story.  Will publish tomorrow, here is the story behind the story for today. 

(Inspired in part by this (as quoted by Gordon B. Hinkley here):

"I am always moved by this simple verse of Anne Campbell, written in behalf of her child. Said she:

You are the trip I did not take;

You are the pearls I cannot buy;

You are my blue Italian lake;

You are my piece of foreign sky.

Many of you are mothers...When you grow old and your hair turns white, you will not ask about the fancy clothes you once wore, the cars you drove, or the large house in which you lived. Your burning question will be, “How have my children turned out?” ")

Airplane
I like to watch
The red-eye winking
In predictable time
From the tips of her wings
As she descends back
Toward earth
From a long journey to another world.
...Another titanic silver albatross
And another,
A silent queue
Converging
In a neat line,
Others ascending
One by one,
Then turning
Over the mountains
And out of sight.
Where are you going?
Where have you been?
Tell me your stories
As you
Spin golden threads
In a web
Across the sky;
Threads connecting
Mumbai,
Delhi,
Bangladesh,
London Heathrow,
Paris,
and Arrivederci.
I want to go there
Some day;
For now,
I want to stay,
Tie shoes,
Kiss boo-boos,
Grow life traveller-adventurers.
Today I'm content
To watch you
Ascend, descend, descend,
Ascend, and dream
Your story.
Where are you going?
Where have you been?

The Verdict on Month One

Month one is almost over. Things I learned:

1 - my dishwasher can handle dirtier dishes than I thought it could :)

2 - clearing out one time waster made a huge difference in my productivity.

3 - the quality time I spent with my kids each day was often the highlight of the whole day.

4 - getting outside and being more active made a big difference in my mood and made for some fun memories with the kids.

5 - keeping my own well refilled is just as important to this project as the things I'm doing with my kids...I need to stay balanced so I have enough to give.

6 - I'm even more of a procrastinator than I thought--why the "interruption factor" is so hard for me. (note: when first I noticed this, I realized this is so hard for me I saw myself as a lost cause in this regard...but I'm amazed that a little awareness goes a long way-- just being aware I need to work on it has made it easier)

7 - When it comes to tasks, its all about expectations-- low expectations, that is. :) (if I set my expectations too high, like thinking I can clean the whole house in an hour, then I'm just setting myself up to be frustrated, especially at the interruptions)-- I need to keep expectations especially low on busy days...(and I need to expect to be interrupted!)

8 - awareness of what causes me stress-- panic time tends to come when I haven't planned ahead, leave too little time to get little bodies somewhere, or when the house is messy.

9 - the weeds can wait - nothing beats the feeling of knowing I did something really important today...the dishes can wait, and so can the weeds, or the laundry, but my kids aren't going to wait around to grow up...I don't want to miss it!

10- Be flexible.

11- When it comes to quality time with the kids, 5 minutes can mean a lot.

12 - When I put God first, the rest falls into place.

13 - I can have memorable dates with hubby without going anywhere far away or fancy.

14 - I made too many resolutions for one month :)-- I'm just too excited & have lots to work on-- next month's will be simpler.

15 - we had some really special times together! (I'm going to post a poem tomorrow about one of them)  What a great experience so far.

Girl Time

~Fun painting nails today!~

Today

I sat on the dusty white school gym floor and listened to my third grader sing "Zipity Do Dah," with the cutest sideways glancing smile on her face. The baby sat in my lap-- he wanted to get down and crawl around; it was a silent wrestling match. Little girls watching and wiggling in their mis-matched getups...sometimes two in my lap at a time. Even with the fidgets I had this surge of gratitude for my little ones. Its such a busy life with five kids but I'm so thankful for each one of them.

Watched a tiny tiny slug after walking kiddos to bus; normally I don't like slugs, but it was the first one my girls had ever seen. Watched it make a trail of silver on ground, lift a tiny head up as if trying to see something, and retract its antennae when lightly touched. They were both upset when a cute redhead came out with a shiny white cottage cheese bucket and removed it (for turtle feeding); my three year old was crying and wouldn't budge. Even I felt a little traumatized-- surprise-- but I'm glad she cares.

At reading time today three year old asked to look at a scrapbook of her older sister. There is a picture of my graduation, holding a little blond boy and a little blond girl with a neon pink flower, one on each knee (where did the time go?). Three year old said to me-- "Wow, Mom, thats sure a cute witch outfit you have on!"

Yesterday: ate popcorn-lime-flavored on the porch, read a story about a boy who prayed when scared at night (six year old scared a lot lately), and cried together at story and courage of NieNie.

Eclipse

Some highlights of the weekend:

Watching my little lambies actually follow Little Bo Peep over the "bridge," in front of grandparents while my baby said "Oh," "oh," very loudly while clapping with chubby hands. (especially when there were no other sounds, eliciting low audience chuckles)

Enjoying time with our sisters around the dining table in our messy house, learning that setting aside my housework can have good effect even with adults.

Sunday afternoon, tried to rig something out of cardboard to watch the eclipse with my ten year-old. Wasn't working. Our projections were just larger than a pin prick. We tried to "see it"-- but couldn't decide if the lopsided-ness of the projections were just from our lopsided cardboard holes. Ha. Hubby rigged something better out of a big white moving box we could stick our head in, then friends came over with a telescope and projected 6-inch diameter crescent on our deck. Even better, trailed all the kids to a neighbor's with welding goggles; took turns looking through them as moon became surrounded by a ring of fire and the landscape turned eerily gray and our friend's toddler picked their flowers. Slowly trailed home, ate homemade popcorn, kids played "nature reserve" in the weeds, watched the garden grow.

In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

In spite of the fact that I've learned not to panic on busy days, we had a near melt down yesterday. We had a dance rehearsal for the little girls, and we were a few minutes late because my three year old was napping and I had to wake her up. It went downhill from there. She was super whiny and uncooperative. At one point she had to put on a costume for her Little Bo Peep dance-- she was supposed to be a sheep-- and when she saw that her tutu was a sheep's fur (I thought it was quite adorable) she absolutely refused to put it on. She saw others in pink polka dotted tutus and didn't understand why she couldn't wear those instead. Of course she is three, and I know that, but all logic and persuasion could not stem the flow of tears and bottom-lip-out stubbornness. It was hot and crowded in the dressing room, and I was frustrated. All of this while I'm trying to hold my baby, who was unaccountably fussy again and rubbing his ear, and helping my six year old get her costumes on in a hot and crowded dressing room. Their dance teacher, who is normally a saint, was the grumpiest I've ever seen her.

Finally I sat her in the car so she could calm down (and me too). When we got home, the baby was still fussy and the house was a disaster. My father-in-law showed up to visit and my husband got home soon afterward. After a haphazard pizza night, I was going to try to clean the house while the boys worked in the garden, but my six year old begged me to play with her (and baby was fussy enough it was clear it was a lost cause). I'm trying to do better about being willing to do things with them on their timeframe (within reason). I took 15 to tidy up and then went outside. The kids wanted to play kick-the-can. I told them 15 minutes tops. I was feeling really overwhelmed. But the night was so beautiful, and all my flowers have bloomed-- pink peonies and foxglove and delphinium, and the air was fragranced and sweet. The night was lightly warm and I carried the baby while we hid in flowerbeds and the shouts of "over-the-can on _____" rang through the neighborhood. My mood was instantly lightened, the kids were happy, it was so refreshing to be out, and we ended up playing for 40 minutes instead of 15. When it was time to go in, I was so glad I'd allowed myself to go out and play, something I probably wouldn't have done before without my work done. It changed my mood and lightened the day and the kids loved it. Ended the night with some peach pie on paper plates listening to the night sounds through the open windows...