I'm sort of embarrassed to be coming here, again, to say...um, fail. All of this month's goals went out the window. Though we did do maintenance from other months, so I guess that is good.
I didn't intend to do so, but I spent this month reading a lot in an attempt to better understand my brain and my kids' brains. My husband would be like, you are reading another one (I think, ahem, seven books? can you say, still nursing? can't let go?)? I've learned so much about the hows and whys of ADD life, including adjusted schedules and routines to fit our own circumstance. For example, I've learned how important routines are (ha, funny), how important exercise is, and how important it is to structure one's environment to give reminders (now I know why I have become a religious user of the timer in the kitchen! could not survive without it, even if I have to put something in for two more minutes I always set it for that or else I forget and burn something!), how important it is to tack one task on to another, how important socialization is, how important it is to unlock the hidden potential and talents within ADD, and how (so obvious to me now!) important it is to be careful not to overdo it (poor concept of time and the like). I have gained a whole bunch of insight into myself and how I function, and have started accepting that I will just plain never be good at some things. I've already adjusted some other tasks and expectations-- all it took was a little encouragement to see just how miserable I was at "x" . And hyperfocus? I'm thinking that I need to structure my day to take advantage of hyperfocus, and accept how difficult it is for me to switch gears. So if I can give myself bigger chunks of time to do something, rather than a bunch of little ones that alternate (here is one example: I have read many times that someone with our family size should do laundry every day, but this just does not work for me. I think I'd rather have a mountain twice a week, than a string of clean/dirty laundry that never ends!)
I will do a post about the books I read soon, I don't know why I never read a book on the subject sooner! I've still had my ups and downs as I've alternated between a sense of relief (I finally know why I struggle with some things!), validation (there are many other people out there who have been through it to!), and, lets just admit it, sadness, as I mourn for what I've lost and mourn a bit for my kids who will have some struggles to face up to yet. Finally, peace, as I have realized that ADD presents a whole new range of opportunities and possibilities, just waiting to be unlocked, as I finally accept the things I can't do alone, as well as accepting the gifts that come with it too. Here is to a fresh start!
We have been enjoying the outdoors this week! It has been a really beautiful, cool, leave-your-windows-open-at-night-and-snuggle-up-under-the-covers (and rush around shutting them when the rain rolls in!) kind of week. The little ones and I have had some adventures. I love that they are still little and with me during the day. And I am so excited for school to get out! To have everyone all to myself, less schedules, and some warm weather to enjoy. Have a marvelous weekend, dear ones!
Showing posts with label ADD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADD. Show all posts
Friday, May 31, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
April Goals
Whoa, dearest readers, by the end of this month I will have been doing my project and blogging about it for one whole year. Thanks for the wonderful ride.
I almost posted goals last week, as I penciled a rather large list of things I want/need to work on while I was at my parent's house last week for part of Spring Break. But I didn't feel ready... yet. I wanted to let the ideas sort themselves and stew and gain some clarity, which happened over the weekend.
First off, I need to thank you for your words of support and encouragement last month. So kind. I am feeling much better, thank you. Getting a diagnosis was both a relief and...not, as I sort of re-experienced all of the pain associated from a whole life's worth of struggle. I've already devoured several books on the subject (ADD), and gained a bunch of new insight into myself and my kids and even my relationship with my husband. There is a really fine line between understanding one's limitations and dwelling on them. I've found some material that depressed me (amazing just how many people with ADD later become addicts, for example, because of poor impulse control and an unwitting desire to self-medicate their symptoms) and other material that was really positive, pointing out all of the strengths of being ADD (I found this site, based on the work of Dr. Daniel Amen-- who thinks ADD belongs in 6 classifications, in which two are considered personality types and not a disorder-- particularly encouraging). So I'm going to try and focus on the positive, for myself and son, as put forth in books by the likes of Dr. Edward Hallowell (he has ADHD himself) and Thom Hartmann (who sees modern manifestation of ADHD as a "hunter" -like gene in a "farmer"-based world). It really is a huge blessing, even though it has been hard, that I have learned all of this before any of my kids have hit the really difficult years as far as studying, exposure to illicit substances, etc. :)
Blah, blah. Some day I'll learn to edit myself!
As I've studied all about ADHD, I've learned that many of the same techniques that help ADD'ers will help anyone. I've learned about all that medication can do for people with ADD (even though we have been trying something called Biofeedback), but that it is only part of a three-legged stool in the approach to treatment. Medication can help kids/adults be more focused for example, but cannot teach skills that haven't yet been learned, like organization. And that the other part of any treatment plan which will help anyone's focus, involves standard health procedures, such as getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well (particularly Omega 3-rich foods). Oh yeah, and routines are especially important for those with ADD. That really sounds overwhelming to me, as I stink at routines! But I am going to try.
So, long story, not ever short, here goes. My goals for my kids are:
1. Develop an after-school and evening routine with built-in consequences, starting with one or two incorporations at a time and gradually adding more throughout the month. Including some mandatory time outside each day. Because I'm a softie, but my kiddos really need it.
2. Focus on paying attention to my kids feelings of belonging and significance.
And, brace yourself here. I know I have had goals to increase my own well-being most months, as it helps me be a better mom, but this month I have a whole bunch.
1. Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Start getting up early to exercise again (I've found a cheap gym close by, so even though I miss running so dearly, it will do the trick for now).
3. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks.
4. Enlist the aid of select others to work on some things that I now see are weaknesses, such as budgeting and organizing.
5. Make a sticker chart for myself to track limited TV watching (we set this as a goal in a different month, but it has gotten out of control lately).
I have more I'm dying to work on, but I want these goals to be successful in the long-term, which they probably won't if I overdo it.
Happy Monday, everyone! I have a few fun Spring Break photos to share this week.
Do any of you have tricks that you have used to motivate yourself to do a difficult task, to avoid procrastinating, or to help you focus?
I almost posted goals last week, as I penciled a rather large list of things I want/need to work on while I was at my parent's house last week for part of Spring Break. But I didn't feel ready... yet. I wanted to let the ideas sort themselves and stew and gain some clarity, which happened over the weekend.
First off, I need to thank you for your words of support and encouragement last month. So kind. I am feeling much better, thank you. Getting a diagnosis was both a relief and...not, as I sort of re-experienced all of the pain associated from a whole life's worth of struggle. I've already devoured several books on the subject (ADD), and gained a bunch of new insight into myself and my kids and even my relationship with my husband. There is a really fine line between understanding one's limitations and dwelling on them. I've found some material that depressed me (amazing just how many people with ADD later become addicts, for example, because of poor impulse control and an unwitting desire to self-medicate their symptoms) and other material that was really positive, pointing out all of the strengths of being ADD (I found this site, based on the work of Dr. Daniel Amen-- who thinks ADD belongs in 6 classifications, in which two are considered personality types and not a disorder-- particularly encouraging). So I'm going to try and focus on the positive, for myself and son, as put forth in books by the likes of Dr. Edward Hallowell (he has ADHD himself) and Thom Hartmann (who sees modern manifestation of ADHD as a "hunter" -like gene in a "farmer"-based world). It really is a huge blessing, even though it has been hard, that I have learned all of this before any of my kids have hit the really difficult years as far as studying, exposure to illicit substances, etc. :)
Blah, blah. Some day I'll learn to edit myself!
As I've studied all about ADHD, I've learned that many of the same techniques that help ADD'ers will help anyone. I've learned about all that medication can do for people with ADD (even though we have been trying something called Biofeedback), but that it is only part of a three-legged stool in the approach to treatment. Medication can help kids/adults be more focused for example, but cannot teach skills that haven't yet been learned, like organization. And that the other part of any treatment plan which will help anyone's focus, involves standard health procedures, such as getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well (particularly Omega 3-rich foods). Oh yeah, and routines are especially important for those with ADD. That really sounds overwhelming to me, as I stink at routines! But I am going to try.
So, long story, not ever short, here goes. My goals for my kids are:
1. Develop an after-school and evening routine with built-in consequences, starting with one or two incorporations at a time and gradually adding more throughout the month. Including some mandatory time outside each day. Because I'm a softie, but my kiddos really need it.
2. Focus on paying attention to my kids feelings of belonging and significance.
And, brace yourself here. I know I have had goals to increase my own well-being most months, as it helps me be a better mom, but this month I have a whole bunch.
1. Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Start getting up early to exercise again (I've found a cheap gym close by, so even though I miss running so dearly, it will do the trick for now).
3. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks.
4. Enlist the aid of select others to work on some things that I now see are weaknesses, such as budgeting and organizing.
5. Make a sticker chart for myself to track limited TV watching (we set this as a goal in a different month, but it has gotten out of control lately).
I have more I'm dying to work on, but I want these goals to be successful in the long-term, which they probably won't if I overdo it.
Happy Monday, everyone! I have a few fun Spring Break photos to share this week.
Do any of you have tricks that you have used to motivate yourself to do a difficult task, to avoid procrastinating, or to help you focus?
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