Date Night

We've been enjoying our twice monthly dates since the first month of my project (idea is to work on collateral areas that affect our parenting and give us a little breather here and there so we can work harder on being good parents when we are around).  Only, we still take the baby.  See what we did on this date:



Ha ha.  Maybe we should consider starting to leave him home.  He is just in that separation anxiety phase, which I don't want to do to anyone, and he is so easy to bring along. 

  (Sorry... I couldn't resist....this ad made me laugh!  All the models announcing the coming of a new store really look enthusiastic-- as the sign says  "we can't wait either!"  -- I'd hate to see them when they weren't excited.  Ha ha)

Anything special you like to do on dates with your significant other? 

Some Funnies

We've had a few times lately when we've started laughing and couldn't stop.  Here they are, to brighten your day.  Or not.  :)

We were sitting at dinner one night and my three year-old's sippy cup was emitting a soft, high-pitched squeak as air released from inside.  Someone said "I hear the kittens!"  Our garage, where the kittens have been home-basing, has a door directly to our dining room, so a couple of the kids thought the sound they heard was kittens meowing from the other side of the door.  I told them no, the sound is Ava's sippy.  No Mom, they said, it is the kittens!  We can hear them!  So then everyone hushed and heard the meow-like sound emitting clearly from Ava's sippy cup.  Then I said "maybe inside Ava's sippy is a tiny kitten!"  Not that funny, but it made everyone bust a gut, if you know what I mean.  Then my oldest joked that in the grocery stores next to the 1% and 2% milk you can now find "Milk With Tiny Kitten."  They were laughing so hard, even the baby joined in with a forced machine-gun laugh that was adorable and infectious.  Then it degenerated into jokes that weren't quite so high-brow, like "butter with leper/leopard finger"  (not funny, I know).  Fun times.

Playing ping pong with my 10 year-old in our basement and my three year-old wanted in on the action.  I set up a chair next to my side of the table while my son and I attempted a game.  The difficulty in actually playing a serious game with baby underfoot and 3 year-old swiping at anything that came her way made us sort of give up, starting first with high-lobbed I-don't-really-care-about-this-game-anymore shots, continued fog of scoring that always ended in declaring it must be a tie, and a loose ball that got up into the floor joists and rattled around a few times before descending back to earth.  We laughed so hard that things then degenerated into a total free-for-all, hitting the wildest and craziest shots across the room at each other, rarely hitting the table.  We laughed so hard that wetting our pants became an option.

Playing Catan for 3 long hours, my husband begging for someone to mercifully "just win!  Please!"  Husband getting frustrated as I kept confusing his pieces with our daughter's, as well as some continued confusion about the rules.  Watching him as baby tried to climb on the table, kneeling in the cards, my six year-old sneaking my cards then trying to auction them to the highest bidder, watching my nine year-old prudently try to save all her resources only to keep having to give up cards; a super healthy snack of salami slices and brownies (though we ate super healthy this week! it felt really good!) that almost turned into dinner as evening waned into night, little girls wandering off as they lost interest, watching Esther on TV, and then, finally, husband came from behind and won!  That sneaky devil.

Dishwashing Poem

I referred yesterday to a poem I found and saved.  About washing dishes, of all things.  :)

If you want to see day 4 1/2 of NYC (New York public library, an attempt at the Tenement Museum, Chrysler Building lobby, and getting lost), see here.

I'm off on a mini date with two of my kiddos.  It was going to be just one, but the other one tried to get my attention by cleaning two bathrooms and mopping a room.  Ha ha.  I think he got my attention.  Cute.  I was trying to be really firm so a little girl could get some time with just me (I'm going to take each of them on a date before school starts), but I figure I can take her when the others are in school.  

(my kids were roughly this old at writing.  time is just flying too fast!)

I Saw Happiness

I saw happiness that

Morning

In a sink of dish washing

Suds

As my four year-old

Burst in to tell me

That our

Bleeding-Heart-had-bloomed-and-it’s-in-the-shape-of-a-heart

Is-that-why-it’s-called-a-bleeding-heart-and-I-saw-a-cool-bug

I-named-it-a-dragon-bug-what-do-dragon-bugs-do?

Then, leaving me to my thoughts,

His hair standing up quizzically in the back,

I smiled within myself as

The door muffled his receding

tromp-tromp-tromp.

Then through the kitchen window,

A perfect view

Of his sister,

Throwing her

Bouncy ball into the air with all her might,

Little arms barely clearing her head.

First trying the grass,

Then finding a better spot in the

Scrawled yesterday’s painted sidewalk,

Filled with

Bright blue and yellow balloons,

Rockets,

And a rudimentary hopscotch.

And I remembered that I’d given up

Office work,

Kayaking,

And a world championship in the hurdles,

Subjected my body to stretch marks,

Varicose veins, and sleep deprivation experiments

(thinking as I read her Pooh that my head too was stuffed with fluff)

To watch my baby sleep,

Her soft breath moving in and out,

A two year-old throw her blue ball, unaware of observation,

And a crouching four year-old wonder at the latest

Wandering bug.

I laughed inside myself

To discover that

Happiness had somehow found me

Inside a bowl of rainbow-

swirling dish suds

As the sun filtered through the

Kitchen window

On a late Thursday

Afternoon.

As always, suggestions appreciated!  Happy Friday!

Good Day, Bad Day

We had so much fun the last time we went to the Planetarium, and we had a few free tickets I wanted to use before the summer was up, so we met Grandma there and enjoyed the IMAX movie "Born to be Wild" (probably my favorite IMAX of all time...the women are so inspiring, and such a great example of empathy, kindness, and a life of compassion...the animals are also very fun to watch...great cinematography and music...overall, very beautifully done).  Then we went back for a little hike, shorter than the one we did on this day, in the same place.  (It's been so nice to be more active together this month, though that wasn't one of my goals, it just sort of happened)   Then we went on to see my grandma and my dad (my dad lives with her during the week for work, then returns home on the weekends).  What a great day.

(Love those legs!  His shorts were dirty)

The next day was not a great day.  It was super busy, as we've re-started some activities, like scouts and soccer, and we're out of the habit of having these things on the schedule, so it was wild.  Also, baby was fussy and had lower-end GI issues all day.  :)  You know what I mean.  And I've discovered that eating healthily on busy days or on the fly is hard.  This is something I'm going to need to figure out, so all our hard work isn't undermined when school starts.

At the end of my bad day, I was ready to pull my hair out.  I even chucked all of my positive words work when I acted like a three year-old!  My three said something like "you're mean."  And I surprised myself when I said "you're mean!" right back. (I never talk like this to my kids, even before my work on 'positive words!')  It totally caught her off guard for a minute, then we went back and forth hurling insults at each other while my other kids' mouths dropped open in awe at their crazy mother.  While it felt great for about 20 seconds, I felt pretty awful afterward. :)

Then two things happened.  The first was I got an email from my dad.  It read:

Hi,

It was good to see you yesterday. I love and admire you and how hard you work to be a good person and mother. And you do a great job.

...Thanks again for everything and please know how deeply I love you.

Dad

  

I needed that! I'm not sure he knows it, but my dad was inspired.  Sometimes it's good to hear that, no matter how imperfect I am, I am trying my best!  I want to be a good mother!  I want my kids to be happy!

I am also copying some of my poems onto my new computer, and I found one I'd tucked away from about 6 years ago.   Made me remember all the things I love about being a mother.  About being their mother. About how life-changing and perspective changing it has been for me.  And maybe when I'm in the thick of it, in the trenches, I don't always see the big picture, but they are the highlight of my life so far!  Even on bad days.

 

Peaks and Valleys, Month 4

In a very similar fashion to other months, some things are going well and some things aren't.

As far as my dinner resolutions-- feed the kids more vegetables and make food from my garden (and don't panic if I have nothing planned), things are going great.  I have been really surprised that my kids have eaten the vegetables I've given them as well as they have.  There have been a few complaints, but overall, they have done really well!  Sometimes, to the point of asking for beets or tomatoes or whatever it is (why am I so shocked?).   And I have felt healthier, too (could be imagining it, but I think I've lost more baby weight this month than any month yet).  Making simple dishes of my own creation has been a good exercise-- I realized I can do more than I thought I could!  I guess I should have given my kids and myself more credit.

Also, I noticed that convenience is a big factor, for good foods and bad.  When my husband cut up some  cucumber and set it out, kids were walking by and grabbing a piece and snacking away (again, why was I so shocked?).  But the same has been true for unhealthy foods that are within easy reach (our freezer is on the bottom part of our fridge), as you'll see below.

There have been some tough days.  Regulating snacks, especially sweet ones, has been a challenge (and we don't have that many, mainly ice cream and popsicles).  When I am occupied with something, some of my kids will get snacks for themselves that are meant to be treats saved for after dinner.  Remembering that it is human nature to like sugar and fat has helped me to understand without judgment, but also remembering that I'm doing this out of love, to give them good habits for life, I've been trying to stave off a little frustration trying to maintain this rule.  Especially yesterday, when I found a little graveyard of OtterPop appendages littered in a cubby where kids were sneaking to eat them.  The quandary-- regulating treats without shaming kids or making the treats that much more desirable because they are off limits.  I don't think what I'm doing is extreme-- one moderate treat saved for the end of the day, but maybe I need to rethink how I am communicating these goals and how I'm reinforcing them.

I'm considering doing something more extreme to help foster appreciation for the rule, like removing all excessivevly sugary foods from the house.  What would you do?

Yesterday I hit a wall as I have with all other resolutions at one point or another.  And I realized that it was a busy day (from Month 1, I learned "don't panic on busy days"), that I was tired (undermines my resolve), and that some of my resolutions that are posing the problems are newer resolutions within this month's goals (I always tend to hit a wall early on in the month).  I hope that by sticking to my resolutions, they'll get easier.  I hope. 

Because I'm doing this for the kids, out of love for them.  To help them start life with good habits that will help them later.

How do you approach "treats" at your house?

NYC Day 4

On day four my sister and I walked through the financial district, down Wall Street and past the New York Stock exchange, and on through Castle Clinton to the ferry.  We parted ways (sniff)-- she went to work and baby and I got on the ferry.  I have actually seen the Statue of Liberty before, and while I felt it was a little over-rated on my first trip (12 years ago), I thought the ferry ride (wait for the cheesy) out into the harbor and past the Statue was breathtaking and thrilling-- I don't know how else to describe it.  This time I didn't actually go to the statue, instead I went on to Ellis Island to the Immigration Museum.  I loved it.

To stay on topic with my project :), one of the reasons this trip and this day were so rejuvenating is that I crave doing certain things that became more difficult once I became a mother.  I love history (that is what I graduated in), but there is a dearth of good historical sites in the West.  It was really electrifying to see a place that has woven so much beauty into the diverse fabric of our country.  I felt inspired and humbled to be walking where so many brave immigrants tread on their path to freedom or opportunity all those years ago.

Even though it is hard to leave my kids, for me, I have to make sure I'm getting occasional times like this where I remember I'm a real person.  And get a little recharge.  So I can be a better, more enthusiastic, happy mother.  And so I can realize the treasure of these years-- that they won't last forever.

That said, I had such a wonderful time with my littlest one.  We really bonded.  And he was such a delightful travelling companion.  I also realized I need more time individually with my kids.

 (

  Sorry this is blurry. 

  This little boy LOVED the ferry ride.  He was so adorable.

Did any of your ancestors come through Ellis Island?  I don't know if any of mine did.  One of my new favorite kid lit books is Moon Over Manifest by Claire Vanderpool.  So good.  Strong immigrant themes.

New York Day 2

Second day in New York we walked a lot.  And it was hot.  But it was still so fun!  We walked across the Brooklyn Bridge (exciting! been reading this, and even if I hadn't, what beautiful views), had one of the tastiest slices of pizza I've ever had at My Little Pizzeria in Brooklyn (ice cream from the shop inside), walked through Brooklyn to the Brooklyn Museum.

As a side note, isn't my sister gorgeous?  She found this cute dress on her friend's blog here.

 This painting made me miss my kids!