Hodgepodge Weekend

Here is a patchwork of random photos from our weekend.  One week before this, I had been so sick and miserable and had a lot to do as part of my new responsibilities with our local children's group.  I was operating in survival mode on just two hours sleep one night and four the next, with no naps in between, thanks to a nasty cough and sinus infection.  So this weekend seemed heavenly!  My husband and I missed my cousin's wedding because of some crazy weather, but it also meant that an opportunity opened up for us to attend his fancy work party, held in the ballroom of my favorite hotel of all time.  I've had a dress for years now (I wore it the night we got engaged, if that tells you something...speaking of fashion, check out this cute swimming suit, I'm in love I tell you) that I've wanted an opportunity to wear to something!  And I finally got a chance. Even if it is probably a little old-fashioned by now.   And even if I could. Not. Zip it up.

And, miracle of miracles, we didn't take the baby!  He stayed with a babysitter -- whom my son announced received "5 stars" --when we got home. :)

 I love watching the older siblings love on the little ones.  This boy is especially cute with little ones!  Lets hope he didn't hear me say that-- he is starting to reject words like "cute."

We got a TON of snow.  But I love how the world looks after a fresh snow.  Especially the way the snow clings in delicate lacy white clusters to all the branches of the trees.

On Sunday night, a few of the kids filled my tub so full it was like a swimming pool.  In honor of the occasion they wore their suits, broke out the goggles, and left swimming pool-like trails of water in my bathroom.  On the other side of the room, the two who were not "swimming" were having a pillow fight.  Only one of the pillow fighters was pretending to be a pony.

 Half church and half to bed.

 And we practiced some spelling bee words.

 The baby tub I just can't bring myself to put into storage in our basement.

 I heard a pitter-patter of feet late one night.  After a few minutes I went to check on those little feet and found this.  Snuggled up under the new blanket I made.  Thanks to some surprise help from my sister, my house was actually clean!  It was so nice!  On Saturday I was able to go to the basement and finish some projects and put away the sewing machine after a few weeks of not being able to get to it.

 Project number one is the pillow case in black.  Not as hard as I thought!  Project number two-- the blanket.

Thanks for being patient with my Photoshop ADD today. :)

What a great weekend.  

A Bowl of Puke-ish-ness and Some Life Lessons On the Kitchen Floor

My resolutions are going much better this month!  I have been compiling a list of common misdeeds in this house and it turns out all I had to do was set out a notebook with a pencil and write down what happened to me over the subsequent few hours as things happened, and sha-bang, thar' she blows.  (all while going about my regular tasks)  It's really not amazing, if you think about it, that in a normal day I'd face pretty much all the discipline problems I face most days; list, not as hard as I thought.

Step two.  I sat my kids down (I know I am supposed to sit myself down, too, I will get to it, eventually).  We had a patched-together family home evening born of my newly pencil-scrawled list.  One thing that is coming together in my brain as far as a yearly resolution, that has slowly taken shape, is that I really really want to do better at preparing for these once-a-week formal teaching moments, especially while my kids still see them as a treat and not a chore.  But for this night, I had to think all of this up about 10 minutes before start time, while I listened to the muffled thud and shouts from an energetically improvised pajama-donning ceremony-turned-game upstairs.  (my husband was gone)

Here is what I did.  I grabbed two similar looking bowls.  In one, I scooped some lovely chocolate ice cream.  In the second, I mixed all sorts of edible items, that when mixed together, were sort of throw-up-ish.  Tuna fish, vinegar, chocolate chips, baking soda (foamy reaction, oops, I forgot), blah, blah.  Then, on top of the ice cream,  I poured good old fashioned Cheerios, so none of the ice cream could be seen.  On the second bowl of slimy yucky-ness I poured a nice sugary layer of Apple Jacks or something like that.

When the kids came in, we gathered as a wiggly little bunch around the dinner table.  I asked them which bowl they would rather eat from.   They could tell it was a trick question.  Darn.  Then I told them, now acting as their parent, I would advise them to eat the Cheerios.   Then I gave them the choice-- and watched those little hands vie for spots in grabbing Cheerios and stuff them in breathlessly smiling-chatty mouths; pretty soon they discovered what was underneath.  I let them grab a spoon and demolish the ice cream-- they were pretty excited about that.  My six year-old kept prematurely announcing a punchline-- "and that is why Mom's fat."  (thinking I was talking about healthy eating and using myself as the counterpoint, she said this several times, even to the point of coming over to show everyone how my belly jiggles)

Then I showed them the yucky stuff under the sugar cereal.  And I explained that often something that is good for you in the long run requires more effort or sacrifice in the short run (like exercise or hard work), and that often things that provide instant gratification don't provide long-term happiness (like drugs).  That parents often know what lies under those superficial layers, and when we ask them to do something, it is for their own good, and not just our own self gratification.  

At this point everyone was getting wiggly, and one child took up a new family favorite post, on the floor near the heating vent, from whence was pouring some nice pillowy hot air.  I gave up on the table idea and told everyone they were free to sit on the floor, to a clamor of delighted exclamations as they wasted no time in relocating to the warm spot in the kitchen.   So we finished the lesson this way:  they were all snuggled and jumbled together on the kitchen floor.  I looked at them in the eyes and I told them how much I love them.  I told them that it is hard for me to discipline them, because I don't like to do it.  But that the life consequences for a lack of discipline now could be severe and long-lasting and distasteful, just like that bowl of tuna-smelly vomit-like stuff hiding under the Apple Jacks.  And that our ultimate goal for them is self-discipline, we're just helping them get started.

I wanted them to understand as I get a little stricter with rules and enforcement, that I am on their team.  That I am doing it out of love for them so they can have a happy life.  They were surprisingly quiet and still.  And even though my six year old was still confused as to how the lesson topic changed from Mom needs to lose a few pounds to this, I think they understood.  I'm so glad that before I start being a better enforcer, they know I'm doing it because I love them.  Even if they don't always like it.

I love these little guys.  I love their innocence and their eagerness to learn, and their, just, genuine goodness.   Even if it doesn't always translate to perfect behavior, their hearts are so big and loving and pure.  I'm learning from them even more than anything I'll ever teach them.  Even if they are completely honest about my jiggly belly and treat-eating ways.

Thanksgiving Part Deux

We enjoyed a second turkey day this year with my family because our cute Yankees came to visit.  (These are only a couple months late!)  Enjoy.

Snow Day

 Love those legs!

 This is how this boy feels about watching trains on TV.  Especially after all those cold tickly things landing on his face.

A good snow day.  Note, our sleds must be in my husband's car, so we had to improvise!  The kayak made for a fun ride around the neighborhood and a good workout for me. :)  Here is a quote from one our favorite old movies, Blackbeard's Ghost-- "that was more fun that riding a humpback whale in a hurricane!"

How are your resolutions coming?  Here is a link to a radio program that made me swear off sugar forever (it lasted about three days)-- it was very sobering (note, the doc in the program does not have the best bedside manner, but has some very interesting things to say!)  His book is titled:

"Fat Chance: Beating The Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease"

Hm.

LOL

Some funnies to brighten your day.  Afterward, enjoy a few too many photos in a sort of belly laugh reel.

E, the baby, calls my eldest son "Tae-don."  And though he knows his sister's name (and will point to her if you say her name), he also calls her, until recently "Tae-don."  If she walks into the room, he will utter a delighted "TAE-don!"  In order to distinguish the two, over the last few weeks, he has been calling her "Tae-don, sisser [sister]."  Just over the last few days he has been calling her by her proper name.  Boo.

The other night, we had some deer in the yard, and he was pretty excited.  He kept running to me and shouting: "Beer!"  "Beer!"

He came down with a sudden high fever one evening.  I always worry about little things like that.  I put him to bed and heard him crying an hour later.  When I went to retrieve him in the dark hallway, he issued a delighted and relieved "MOM!"  Then he told me "scared."  Awwww....  That night I laid with him on the floor and he wasn't content to be in his bed next to me, he kept rolling off and wedging himself between my body and his bed, which is the only way he finally fell asleep.  I could feel his little round head, next to mine, pouring forth the heat, as his little body gradually relaxed, his hot breath warm on my cheek.  I felt so badly for him, but as I lay there in the dark, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world in on the best secret-- I feel so blessed this little one is mine.  The next day, when he held out his arms for me to lift him up in his soft felt dino jammies, the poor little guy was still burning up (Motrin to the rescue).  I told him "you have hot pits!"  I was just joking, but he picked up on that and said "Hot pits. Hot pits. Hot pits."  (after saying something I can't repeat) over and over for a little while.  Lol.

My middle daughter (6) told my oldest son, when they were playing some sort of fake bow-and -arrow game, "I shot you before I even aimed!"

And my little four year old, she is the dressing queen. More on this another day, including photos that I can't always capture quickly enough because she changes to often!  She actually changes into a different skirt for bed, because she will only wear dresses or skirts.  Where did this dear girl come from?  She tells me I am "nice" or "mean" based on whether I am giving her what she wants in the moment.  This is a first for me in the parenting universe.  She is spunky but quite delightful.  Maybe that is what we should name the band?

Month 9 Goals

Hello dear ones, I hope all of you are recovered or recovering from the holidays and on your way to a good 2013.  I'm getting these goals out a little late this month, but better late than never, right?  

Because I was totally ineffective last month, I am going to make last month's goals this month's.  If you recall, last month I was going to work on discipline (of course one of my problems last month was self- discipline: lol, my hubby and I became obsessed with the TV show LOST and stayed up late every night watching!  Bad timing-- such a busy, busy time of year!  I got sick, twice!  This is one reason I don't usually allow myself to watch a TV series, because I get sucked in and can't control myself).  It's good I've had an extra month to think about it, and to notice just how badly I need to work on this.  Remember all the glazed-over eyes around here or the mommy-deafness when I say something?  Making requests last month did help, but I have a long way to go in consistency and firmness.  I tend to feel sorry for so-and-so, which isn't a bad thing, and I want to be a kind mother above all else, which is a worthy goal, but I must remember that helping my kids develop discipline is a kind and loving thing to do!  And being firm and offering limits actually helps them feel loved.  Some kids will test limits for this very reason!   I have to remind myself of this.  (See the post script for a touching interview I listened to about a mom who gave her son an iPhone attached to 18 funny and serious rules, link here, parts of this moved me to tears, it's worth a read.)

Ok, so here is a recap from last month:

1)  This week, make a clear list of family rules that even the little ones can understand.  Post them somewhere.
2)  Sit my ole self down (I've meant to do this forever!) and think out our most common discipline scenarios and decide how I am going to handle them, including matching consequences to crimes.
3)  Force myself to be a little more authoritative (or if you're too authoritative, maybe you could work on being a little less rigid), while showing love in all the ways I have learned this year.
4)  Be as consistent in discipline and daily schedule as possible, even if it is inconvenient.  Prepare ahead mentally for unwanted contingencies if need be.
5)  Recommit to old goals, especially my TV goal (limiting TV to one hour for kids who are home during the day-- I've gotten way too lax on this lately!  I blame Bob the Builder!  Some cute things on this next week) and some of my personal health goals which definitely affect my parenting.
I have other over-arching year goals that I've been mulling over, just not quite ready yet.  I'll keep you updated.

Is there something that helps you be a loving but firm disciplinarian?  Do you have any discipline secrets for me?

Post Script:


I heard an interview on Talk of the Nation yesterday (here).  Guest Janell Burley Hoffman, on a list of 18 rules she gave her son when he received an iPhone for Christmas.  Some are funny, some are serious, some are informational.  I didn't realize that this list is controversial to some, though I think if one could take any parenting principle and dissect it it would be controversial, because we are all coming from such different places.  What I got from this interview: I was touched by Hoffman's courage in giving her son these rules.  I was impressed with the thought and time she spent teaching her son about responsible use of technology, instead of taking the easy way out.  And more than anything else, I sensed the love that wove itself through her words.  Because, lets face it, technology scares the be-geezees out of me.  I worry that at the least, that during this pivotal developmental period, my kids will be like Superman on Kryponite-- I worry that some tech can destroy them (though unlikely, this is a possibility), divert them, or distract them into oblivion, while some of the most important opportunities of their lives (even just looking out the window! or learning to actually talk to another human being!) parade past without realization. Her final rule moved me to tears: 

You will mess up.  I will take away your phone.  We will sit down and talk about it.  We will start over again.  You & I, we are always learning.  I am on your team.  We are in this together.

I think if there could be a short and sweet message from God, this would be it.  I am trusting you with some incredible super powers.  You will mess up, because you are learning, but we are on the same team.  I'm here to help you.  Because I've been there.

What are your thoughts on technology and kids?  

Harpy New Ear

We enjoyed a slow New Years Day together after a (sort of) late night drinking a little apple-juice bubbly, because we're fancy like that.  :)

Notice Emerson, who zonked out in his high chair.  SO cute!   And a whole buncha' holiday junk food.

Playing games with the grandparents.

Holiday hair, too.

The dad does projects, because he is awesome like that.

My hands grew to mommy size overnight and I'm not sure how I feel about it!

Sledding!  Coooooolllllddddd.   And an icy hill made for a crazy run!  But it was so fun!  A fave new activity.

Probably my favorite photo of the day!  Love these guys~ it's so fun to watch them, they really get into sledding.

Reminded me of when my husband and I were just friends; we went sledding very late at night on a steep icy hill all alone in the moonlight.  It was so packed down and fast that we kept hurting ourselves.  Only, we laughed and laughed in a sort of can't-control-ourselves-sick sort of way.  We nicknamed the various hills.  One was "The Scraper," and another was "T-bone," because it really did a number on your tailbone, if you know what I mean.  One of my favorite early memories with my husband.

How was your New Years?  Do you like to be lazy, or get things done?  Any traditions?  Do you stay up until midnight?  I'm boring-- my sleep is so precious and sparse, I'd rather be sleeping!

Goals tomorrow!   Tortoise and the hare, I tell you.