Okay, so, enjoy these photos of my oldest kids trying out this girl's new bow and arrow that she got for Christmas. I took every ounce of mom-willpower I had to force myself to go out in that bleepity bleep bleep cold snow (it was hovering around 0 degress F) because I knew just how badly she wanted to try it out!
Turns out, it was much harder than she thought, much more fun and addictive than I thought, and just about exactly what my son thought it would be. I marched out there ready to help them shoot safely and when I strung the bow, he laughed and told me I was doing it wrong. Then he proceeded to fix it for me, show me how to shoot it, and show me up several times with his skills (cub scout camp, I love you). Little cute girl wants to practice some more when it is warmer and when we can find the arrows after we have shot them! (Just to be sure, I was supervising the whole time)
So this goes right along with another area I want to focus on this year. I have been thinking about the Supermom Syndrome, and how detrimental it can be to being the best mom I can be, ironic as that sounds. I will explain. I think the Supermom Syndrome is negative because it implies that somehow one can have it all and do it all, that something really impossible is possible. One woman said being a mom is like trying to knit on a roller coaster (here) (just a heads up-- this article is not "G" rated). I have blogged about this before, I know, but I think that perfectionism and perfect are polar opposites. Perfectionism requires everything to look perfect. But being perfect requires sacrificing something good for something better-- perfect balancing of priorities. In many ways the more perfect one becomes, the less perfect that person's life will seem to be on a superficial level (some ways, hang with me, here). For example, in her search of being a better, more perfect mother, a woman may set aside something she is doing to listen to a child's story, play a game, or teach someone how to make a bed, tolerating the bed-makers mistakes rather than doing it herself. She may let little hands help bake the cake, even if it turns out a little lopsided. Or let that un-mopped floor go just one more afternoon so she can snuggle on the couch and read a story.
Another part of my goal for this year is not only self-evaluation and seeking grace from above in overcoming my weaknesses, in order to be a better and better person and mother (even if they are baby steps, mind you), but also to offer more forgiveness in return. While I'm thinking about things I can work on, getting that reset for myself, I'd also like to hit the reset button when it comes to those I love. I'm not so good at letting go of little hurts and resentments, I tend to mull them over too much. So asking and offering that reset each week, that is what I want to do. Including, forgiving myself! Because we all know I wouldn't have 50 million resolutions each month if I were perfect already. Knitting on a roller coaster, right?
Originally I thought of the saying, "know when to be more, and when to let it be." But in honor of my little arrow shooter who is an example of grit and perseverance in this family, I'd like to make a little more Merida-like saying: "know when to aim higher, and when to let it go." Because being a good mother is pretty much the most important thing I feel I personally will ever do, I want to continuously try to be better, in the right ways. The ways that really matter, and not in being a perfectionist. So letting go refers to both forgiving and letting things go, and knowing when something doesn't really matter, and letting something give way for something more meaningful.
Oh, and speaking of awesome and supermom and giving yourself a break, see this beautiful article.