* Goals that are measurable are much more likely to be successful, especially long term.
* Spending time with my kids is usually my favorite time of day, and the times I enjoy looking back on the most.
* The key, for me, to spending time together, is consistency (when I make excuses and allow myself to let other jobs creep into that time, it is 20 times harder the next day....if spend the time consistently, I adjust to it, and don't even remember what it felt like to have that time for other chores) and
* starting, which is half the battle. It may be so so so hard to leave the laundry or the dishes or the whatever it is, telling myself that just today I don't have the time, but just getting started, it gives the best feeling! Its so fun to see their little eyes light up and their little smiles just meant for me.
* or leaving. If I just can't focus at home, that is when we go for a walk or to the park or the zoo or ______( fill-in-the-blank). It is in these moments I forget that sometimes heavy to-do list and just focus on my little ones. They are what lasts, anyway, not the laundry or the grocery list or whatever it is.
* Speaking one love language (thanks to The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman/Campbell) makes it really easy to speak another, ie, saying kind words kinda makes you want to give that kid a little squeeze, too, and vice versa.
* My kiddos are less of a discipline problem when they feel loved and have had my attention.
* Taking care of myself makes me a better parent. When I am tired, run-down, burnt-out, or on a sugar low after eating that pan of brownies, I am much more likely to be impatient.
* Simplifying our schedule also aids my parenting efforts.
* Old habits start to creep back if I'm not watchful.
* I can tell a big difference in my kid's intelligence and empathy when I am spending more time with them.
* Quality spouse time also aids my parenting, as we become more of a team, show more love to each other, and thus have a more positive home environment.
* I can't forget that-- I am part of a team-- going to my spouse for suggestions has provided some rich opportunities. (we recite "Learn-Do-Be" as a motto each FHE and the kids love it)
* I need to learn to laugh at crazy situations and accidents instead of feeling stressed about them. Like, think how funny this will be ten years down the road. As an entire box of melted ice cream you just found under the desk as it drip-drip-drips.
* Its important to be flexible.
* When in doubt, compassion comes first, even if it is inconvenient.
* Set my sights low on some things, like projects. If they are too high, I'm setting myself up to get frustrated when I start getting interruptions
* Set aside my pride. Sometimes putting others first requires the temporary sacrifice of other things. So when the neighbor shows up and it looks like *&^% has just unleashed (chocolate ice cream, drip drip drip), just smile and wave. And know you are doing what is most important.
* Healthy meals don't have to be fancy. And while there will always be moans and groans at the dinner table, my kids enjoyed healthy food much more than I thought they would. I need to give them more credit.
* Recognizing my own needs and giving myself a little bit of time taking care of them (one month, I just got myself some pink lipstick!), provides a safety valve that gives me a little relief from the wonderful but exhausting job of being a full-time parent, in turn giving me more energy for my kiddos later.
* Cutting back on the TV made my kids read more and play more and made our house (and my conscience) a more peaceful place to be.
* Spending a little time getting organized pays huge dividends. (another thing that can undermine patience, when you are trying to find that little lost ballet slipper! I know this by long, hard experience) :)
* Throw out perfectionism. This is an ongoing battle on many fronts. "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" is one of my new mantras. :)
* Look for the good, in them, and in me. I noticed my kids try so much harder to please me when I am positive and loving toward them instead of grouchy and demanding. While looking for ways to be better, its important to recognize the good things I am and am doing.
* My kids already know what they need to work on, even if it doesn't seem like it at times. They are going to turn out just fine! (in spite of the dripping ice cream!) Don't panic.
* I am the eye of the tornado, man. My kids are much more loving toward each other when I am loving and calm and kind. Sad but true that the parents generally set the tone of the whole house.
* My kids get along better when we spend good quality time together.
* Involve God. When I did this, it made for my best months.
* When all else fails, tomorrow is a new day. Time to push the "reset" button. Kids are so forgiving. They will forgive my weaknesses as a parent, as long as my end-goal is loving them! They won't look back and think, my mom was so good at using the Ferber technique, but they will remember that I had time for them, that I loved them, and they were more important to me than just about anything else.
* The Big picture - sometimes I have to step back and see it. Some day, when my kids are learning to drive, or struggling with a first job, or away at school, I will miss those days when a little one threw a tantrum over a lollipop or begged to be held all day or came in for some hugs at night because they were scared. This is such a special time, and its not going to last forever.
And the last thing I've learned....I am so long winded! Sorry! You are so patient. I love you, dear readers! Share with me something you've learned lately through your parenting struggles and challenges. I'd love to hear-- I learn so much from you!
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