Gender Neutralizing the Nursery

I know you're not here to look at my house, and I know I don't have the latest and greatest.  So why post about it?  I dunno.  Maybe just because I enjoy some of these little projects and it's fun to share them with someone!  And maybe because I don't normally like gender-neutral stuff, so my expectations were low, which made me really pleased with how it all turned out (especially the curtains!  My first lined curtains and I didn't destroy them!  Miracle.)

Since I took the first photo I have added Ava's name to the wall.

Was going to really blog about this, but don't have time.  Just know that the two books on the top shelf are two of our new favorites.  So cute.

Sweet blanket quilted by an auntie.

For diapers or dirty clothes.

That tiny hand print!

The reason we moved my little four year-old into the nursery is that the littllest two were getting up in shifts all night long each night.  Now that she is by my room, she has been sleeping through the night!

Wahoo.

Does anyone else see making something that lasts, something that doesn't just get undone over and over like laundry and dishes, as a huge well-filler?  Even if its just making a little something occasionally.

Mantras for a Year

For today, just a quick something something.

I've heard several blogging mothers who have chosen a word or slogan for the year.  I like the idea, but you know me, I'm just too wordy to choose just one word. :)

So, I've been thinking about a couple of different things I would like to focus on this year.

The first one I've been thinking about for over a month now.  A mantra I'd like to remember when I'm in the thick of motherhood, in the trenches.  It is:

Compassion before convenience.

And that includes myself!  Because sometimes I need to have empathy for my own self, too.  It is so easy for me to be empathetic toward other mothers.  Maybe they're in their exercise clothes (or even their pj's!) at noon or even maybe at 5pm, or maybe they are a bit frazzled, or maybe their child is throwing a big giant fit somewhere very public and inconvenient (happened to me just the other day!).  From the outside, it's easy for me to be easy on them: I can see that they have a number of small children, or they are still  nursing, or they haven't had any sleep the night before, or they spend a lot of time with their children or helping in their communities, or I know they haven't had a break in a while.  When I see a messy house on one of these women, it is so easy for me to see the big picture-- to pass off all the little nit-picky things that might not be perfect and see all the great and wonderful things this woman is doing.  But when that woman is me, I think-- why can't I keep it together?  Neglecting to see the big picture, which is...turn the mirror around, girl.

I got to practice this little saying last night, with my sweet little six year-old, who was having a hard day.  I can't remember the last time I just held her on my lap, just like I used to snuggle her when she was a baby.  So she sat on my lap and had a good cry, and I smoothed her hair and wiped little tears off her little freckled cheeks and we talked it all out.  And the clocked ticked toward bedtime and then tiptoed past, as if it too were traversing a long, quiet corridor.  But it wasn't quiet.  I had little ones climbing all over me and some whining for a drink and another wanting help with his spelling words.  One more wanted to know why I wasn't spending extra time with her. So everyone got to bed late that night. But it was okay.  Before I left her room for a final tucking in, she reached up and slipped something over my neck.  It was a little stretchy necklace with pied beads in all shapes and colors and sizes.  And soon I noticed that it was glowing, due to a number of glow-in-the-dark beads.  It fit just perfectly on top of the new more fashionable one my thoughtful sister just sent.  She sniffed and wiped her nose on her shirt ( :) ) , and took in a deep breath and told me that she had made it with her friends the other day, but she wanted to give it to me tonight.  I could tell it was a token of her little friendship, and I felt thankful.  And I wouldn't trade that too-late bedtime (or those ornery kids today) and the long lost personal time for the time we had to talk and work things out and learn together in the dark last night.

I have another one, I'll tell you another day.  I'm working on something, you'll see soon.

Love to all.

Hodgepodge Weekend

Here is a patchwork of random photos from our weekend.  One week before this, I had been so sick and miserable and had a lot to do as part of my new responsibilities with our local children's group.  I was operating in survival mode on just two hours sleep one night and four the next, with no naps in between, thanks to a nasty cough and sinus infection.  So this weekend seemed heavenly!  My husband and I missed my cousin's wedding because of some crazy weather, but it also meant that an opportunity opened up for us to attend his fancy work party, held in the ballroom of my favorite hotel of all time.  I've had a dress for years now (I wore it the night we got engaged, if that tells you something...speaking of fashion, check out this cute swimming suit, I'm in love I tell you) that I've wanted an opportunity to wear to something!  And I finally got a chance. Even if it is probably a little old-fashioned by now.   And even if I could. Not. Zip it up.

And, miracle of miracles, we didn't take the baby!  He stayed with a babysitter -- whom my son announced received "5 stars" --when we got home. :)

 I love watching the older siblings love on the little ones.  This boy is especially cute with little ones!  Lets hope he didn't hear me say that-- he is starting to reject words like "cute."

We got a TON of snow.  But I love how the world looks after a fresh snow.  Especially the way the snow clings in delicate lacy white clusters to all the branches of the trees.

On Sunday night, a few of the kids filled my tub so full it was like a swimming pool.  In honor of the occasion they wore their suits, broke out the goggles, and left swimming pool-like trails of water in my bathroom.  On the other side of the room, the two who were not "swimming" were having a pillow fight.  Only one of the pillow fighters was pretending to be a pony.

 Half church and half to bed.

 And we practiced some spelling bee words.

 The baby tub I just can't bring myself to put into storage in our basement.

 I heard a pitter-patter of feet late one night.  After a few minutes I went to check on those little feet and found this.  Snuggled up under the new blanket I made.  Thanks to some surprise help from my sister, my house was actually clean!  It was so nice!  On Saturday I was able to go to the basement and finish some projects and put away the sewing machine after a few weeks of not being able to get to it.

 Project number one is the pillow case in black.  Not as hard as I thought!  Project number two-- the blanket.

Thanks for being patient with my Photoshop ADD today. :)

What a great weekend.  

A Bowl of Puke-ish-ness and Some Life Lessons On the Kitchen Floor

My resolutions are going much better this month!  I have been compiling a list of common misdeeds in this house and it turns out all I had to do was set out a notebook with a pencil and write down what happened to me over the subsequent few hours as things happened, and sha-bang, thar' she blows.  (all while going about my regular tasks)  It's really not amazing, if you think about it, that in a normal day I'd face pretty much all the discipline problems I face most days; list, not as hard as I thought.

Step two.  I sat my kids down (I know I am supposed to sit myself down, too, I will get to it, eventually).  We had a patched-together family home evening born of my newly pencil-scrawled list.  One thing that is coming together in my brain as far as a yearly resolution, that has slowly taken shape, is that I really really want to do better at preparing for these once-a-week formal teaching moments, especially while my kids still see them as a treat and not a chore.  But for this night, I had to think all of this up about 10 minutes before start time, while I listened to the muffled thud and shouts from an energetically improvised pajama-donning ceremony-turned-game upstairs.  (my husband was gone)

Here is what I did.  I grabbed two similar looking bowls.  In one, I scooped some lovely chocolate ice cream.  In the second, I mixed all sorts of edible items, that when mixed together, were sort of throw-up-ish.  Tuna fish, vinegar, chocolate chips, baking soda (foamy reaction, oops, I forgot), blah, blah.  Then, on top of the ice cream,  I poured good old fashioned Cheerios, so none of the ice cream could be seen.  On the second bowl of slimy yucky-ness I poured a nice sugary layer of Apple Jacks or something like that.

When the kids came in, we gathered as a wiggly little bunch around the dinner table.  I asked them which bowl they would rather eat from.   They could tell it was a trick question.  Darn.  Then I told them, now acting as their parent, I would advise them to eat the Cheerios.   Then I gave them the choice-- and watched those little hands vie for spots in grabbing Cheerios and stuff them in breathlessly smiling-chatty mouths; pretty soon they discovered what was underneath.  I let them grab a spoon and demolish the ice cream-- they were pretty excited about that.  My six year-old kept prematurely announcing a punchline-- "and that is why Mom's fat."  (thinking I was talking about healthy eating and using myself as the counterpoint, she said this several times, even to the point of coming over to show everyone how my belly jiggles)

Then I showed them the yucky stuff under the sugar cereal.  And I explained that often something that is good for you in the long run requires more effort or sacrifice in the short run (like exercise or hard work), and that often things that provide instant gratification don't provide long-term happiness (like drugs).  That parents often know what lies under those superficial layers, and when we ask them to do something, it is for their own good, and not just our own self gratification.  

At this point everyone was getting wiggly, and one child took up a new family favorite post, on the floor near the heating vent, from whence was pouring some nice pillowy hot air.  I gave up on the table idea and told everyone they were free to sit on the floor, to a clamor of delighted exclamations as they wasted no time in relocating to the warm spot in the kitchen.   So we finished the lesson this way:  they were all snuggled and jumbled together on the kitchen floor.  I looked at them in the eyes and I told them how much I love them.  I told them that it is hard for me to discipline them, because I don't like to do it.  But that the life consequences for a lack of discipline now could be severe and long-lasting and distasteful, just like that bowl of tuna-smelly vomit-like stuff hiding under the Apple Jacks.  And that our ultimate goal for them is self-discipline, we're just helping them get started.

I wanted them to understand as I get a little stricter with rules and enforcement, that I am on their team.  That I am doing it out of love for them so they can have a happy life.  They were surprisingly quiet and still.  And even though my six year old was still confused as to how the lesson topic changed from Mom needs to lose a few pounds to this, I think they understood.  I'm so glad that before I start being a better enforcer, they know I'm doing it because I love them.  Even if they don't always like it.

I love these little guys.  I love their innocence and their eagerness to learn, and their, just, genuine goodness.   Even if it doesn't always translate to perfect behavior, their hearts are so big and loving and pure.  I'm learning from them even more than anything I'll ever teach them.  Even if they are completely honest about my jiggly belly and treat-eating ways.

Thanksgiving Part Deux

We enjoyed a second turkey day this year with my family because our cute Yankees came to visit.  (These are only a couple months late!)  Enjoy.

Snow Day

 Love those legs!

 This is how this boy feels about watching trains on TV.  Especially after all those cold tickly things landing on his face.

A good snow day.  Note, our sleds must be in my husband's car, so we had to improvise!  The kayak made for a fun ride around the neighborhood and a good workout for me. :)  Here is a quote from one our favorite old movies, Blackbeard's Ghost-- "that was more fun that riding a humpback whale in a hurricane!"

How are your resolutions coming?  Here is a link to a radio program that made me swear off sugar forever (it lasted about three days)-- it was very sobering (note, the doc in the program does not have the best bedside manner, but has some very interesting things to say!)  His book is titled:

"Fat Chance: Beating The Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease"

Hm.