This month I have some specific things we need to improve on. I don't think we are bad at working, we just need to improve. The kids have jobs and the thing I've found to be most successful at motivating them is no privileges (TV, computer, friends, etc) until their jobs are done. I'm not consistent about some things, but this is one thing I'm consistent about, and it works really well.
I have used a binder system to track jobs in the past (I am not good at any kind of job chart that requires frequent maintenance on my part, such as stickers). It worked well. But now we use My Job Chart -- see my review
here. One of the nice things about My Job Chart is that it keeps track of how many "points" your child earns-- you don't have to. The only time parental involvement needed is to add or change jobs, specify which rewards are available for your child to earn (there are custom fields for both of these, if you want them to have a job or reward not in My Job Chart's system, and you can decide if you want them to be able to earn toys or monetary-based rewards), and act when they redeem an award.
After reading
The Parenting Breakthrough my Merrillee Boyack, here are some of the things she's inspired me to work on, as well as some of my own:
1)
Make a list of all the things I would like my kids to learn in order to be an independent adult (list things like wise investing, how to clean a toilet, how to change the oil in a car, etc), then make a plan, year by year, of the things they need to learn. She has her own plan, according to age, which is really good. There are definitely some things on her list that my kids are not doing.
We already started this, and it was a wonderful experience for me and my husband. What a great perspective giver. We are going to hone it down a little in conjunction with a family motto and basic family rules, but we got a great start.
2)
Help my kids understand the value of work. Making them work and actually helping them learn to value work are two different things. (more of that
becoming stuff I want-- if they actually value it, it will change their life, if not, its only a short-term fix)
Immediate plan: I have a Family Night lesson all planned for tonight-- we'll see how it goes. Obviously it will take a lot of times for this lesson to really sink in. For tonight, I'm also going to introduce the "training plan" Boyack writes about-- giving my kids some notice before I train them in a new job. (more later in the month)
3)
Help them learn how to be self-starters-- get up early, on their own, and get to work (dream on, right?). I don't know how I'm going to do this yet, but I am determined to help them do it!
4)
Work hard myself. I've been afraid to push myself too hard since I didn't sleep the first 10 months of baby's life, but its time to start. Every parenting book I read says that kids need to see their parents showing the way rather than just spewing idle talk.
5)
Limit TV/computer. We've gotten into some bad habits the last six months or so! I'm going to limit my kiddos to 1 hour of screen time during the summer, limit TV to weekends during the school year for the big kids (1 hour per day during school year for little ones).
6)
Accountability. I'm going to actually check my kids jobs to make sure they are done. Boyack suggests making a 3x5 card with the requirements for a particular job in detail-- ie, for bathroom it would include wipe mirrors, empty trash, wipe sinks, clean toilet, etc.
7)
Positive Rewards. I made a jar with papers called "Mystery Motivators" (got the idea from a friend). I learned in
The Power of Positive Parenting (Latham) that
intermittent reinforcement can be a powerful rewarding tool (periodically providing a reward-- this also works in the negative, if I let them get away with something once, they are likely to try many times to get away with it again).
8)
Work together. I've wanted to work together as a family for ages, we just never do it. Going to try something new this month, I'll let you know how it goes.
How do you teach your kids to work? Any job chart ideas that work for you? Boyack thinks varying the job charts is a great idea to keep things interesting.
