A Little Side Goal

Just a quick little something about a side goal that started a couple of months ago.  Remember when I worked on organization?  Well,  that is still an ongoing project.  :)  But one upside was that I planned out activities for the whole year, like dates with the kids and with my husband.  This may seem like overkill, but I have gotten addicted to yearly planning over the last few years.  I find I'm so much better at finding a block of time to plan something out, after which I can let it run itself for quite a while.  I wanted to make sure I do all those things I always intend to do but never get around to, to be more purposeful about life instead of just going along for the ride.

One of my goals with the planning was to allow for more cultural experiences with the kids, again, in a purposeful way.  I did some quick research on the internet to see which art shows, plays, ballets, etc were visiting my state over the next year.  Then I did some quick budgetary calculations.  Turns out, even though I'd like to go to lots of plays, one good quality play is all the budget will allow when there are so many people to account for (and I've learned that I'd rather pay for good seats to one play than bad seats for two).  That said, in December, when I saw a deal for Symphony tickets for just $9, I snatched that right up, because cultural events were on my mind and I realized it was a great opportunity to get in some culture for a great price (and we didn't need great seats, as it was an auditory experience).

In addition to stage performances, I scheduled cheaper things, like one nice restaurant (of course nice is anything a step up from McDonalds)(we were supposed to do this in Jan, but when I was sitting at the dinner table a few nights before, and there was a lot of slurping and chomping and just general craziness, I decided we needed some more prep time, since the kids didn't know about it anyway, and prepping for something like that is kind of the point).  I also found that a semi-local university's art museum offers a few free Saturdays just for kids, and they even provide a craft.

I also scheduled out days here and there at our "pass of the year."  In general, we tend to do one pass a year and rotate that pass.  Last year we did the Planetarium.  If I didn't schedule it, I would sometimes forget for months at a time that I even had the pass (after I started writing it on the calendar, we went more regularly).  This year we are doing the zoo.  I budgeted enough to visit another museum or two on a one-off basis, like the science museum we visited last month.

In general I just tried to decide how often time and budget would allow us to visit places we wanted to go, then scheduled them in so we don't just get so into our daily rhythms that we miss out on something we really wanted to do.   So far, its been good!  I have one goal related to this I'm going to work on next month.

Whew!  Clear as mud.  Happy Valentines Day!

What I Learned About Organization, Month 6

This was an interesting month.  I hit a major wall this month, and I'm pretty sure it had to do with staying up late with my husband to watch the end of one of the old seasons of a TV series we used to watch, like years ago.  (learning again, that when I'm tired, especially when I sleep past that magic time that day makes the day go smoothly, I'm sooo less effective as a parent and things fall apart around here!)  We enjoyed ourselves, but I'm going to try not to get sucked into the next season, see if I can avoid some grisly Jack Bauer torture scenes.

Here is what I learned this month:

1 - I've decided there are three critical times of day for me that affect the outcome of my whole entire day.  When I'm behind on one of these, things really snowball in a bad way.  One is the time I get up, the next is when I exercise, and the last is what time we have dinner.

2 - It is hard to get organized when I'm unorganized.  :)

3 - Some organization needs a simple framework.  I planned out activities and dates with my husband and kids for the whole year.  At first, it was a bit daunting to sit down and know where to start.  First I filled in all the set dates, like days off school.  I tried to decide how many bigger activities my time and budget would allow (for example, after looking into cultural events-- ahhh....there were so many great ones!  I want to expose the kids to so many wonderful things!  But one trip to the theater is a big chunk of money!). Then, for better or worse, I decided on one big activity a month, a date with one child per month, two dates with my husband, etc.  I planned in one story time at the library per month, instead of weekly, in order to give us time to explore and play close to home.  I planned which days of the week I'd dedicate to which activities, with the kids and around the house.  I decided I'd dedicate the weeks of the month's according to my priorities-- so my weekend to go out with my husband comes before my weekend doing something with the kids/as a family.  This helped give structure to my plan.  I made a list of activities for the year, keeping in mind our overall goals with  our motto Learn, Do, Be.  For example, I thought January would be the perfect month to practice our restaurant skills.  I scheduled a trip to the lake in August, when the water is warmest.  A trip to the homeless shelter in November.  None of these have to be set in stone, but this way I can be more purposeful about how we spend time together, and I can see a visual reminder of something we should be doing!

4 - Starting something is half the battle.  This was true for the things I planned, and also for quality time this month.  Spending time together has been the best part of my project, but I had a really hard time forcing myself to put down the laundry or dishes or whatever it was this month in order to have our quality time together.  Once I started doing something with the kids, though, it became enjoyable and easier, helping me push through a tempting rough patch.  (and getting out really helps me when I'm challenged this way because I'm not distracted by all my to-do's!  I made a new schedule for myself, filling it in, again, with a rough framework of have-to's and priorities and then filling in the gaps.

5 - Teamwork!  I was drawing a major blank on planning our family home evenings for the year.  So, imagine this, I asked my husband and he had a great idea.  Why not -- Learn, Do, Be?  So the first week of each month will be learning something religious, second week will be secular (from our list of things we want them to learn before leaving home), third week we'll actually put them into practice, primarily by "doing" things for others, and the last week we'll focus on the "be" part.  Just having a framework really helped the planning to breeze by!

6-  Simplifying can reduce my stress and protect my wallet, while making me more relaxed and fun to be around, giving those golden moments of happy unplanned times as a parent.

7 - Organization doesn't have to be fancy-- it just has to work for me.  I love this woman's approach to organization.  This is what I'm going to do-- I have a binder and a notebook (on her blog, see "Around the House" and then "Life Binder," neither one fancy)!

 8 - Sometimes I have to accept that some days are just going to be crazy!  No matter what I do!  I need to cultivate a sense of humor about these times so I can laugh rather than cry.  And talk to other moms who are going through the same thing.  So I can see that these days aren't forever.  And some things really are funny.  (one of the things I loved about I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch (Eyre) was her funny re-countings of some of their crazy times-- and I know that her children turned out great!  Wow was it nice to feel like I'm not alone, and some of these things really are funny.)

Doing this planning was a bit onerous, but once I got the hang of it, it was kind of fun!  I feel invigorated and excited for next month!  Now that I have the hard part behind me, things should go a bit smoother.

New goals for next month and a six month recap coming up!

How do you help yourself get organized?  I'm kind of loving yearly planning right now, I did it for scouts and it was awesome.  One big planning session, then sit back and enjoy my work with minor tweaks here and there.  And often I can use the same plan the next year. 

Organization Update (Again?)

(Great read.  -- hey, it even works for Halloween! ha--  More about this book next week)

Um, I'm supposed to be organizing this month, and what I'm learning is that it is hard to get organized when I am unorganized!  Ha.

I sat in front of my computer on Monday and all was blank.  So I'm going to hunker down right now (I know my month should be over already!  aaaaaagggh!) and finish what I started, like, six weeks ago. 

I'm glad I didn't finish, though, because I've gotten some new insights on planning/organization.

It's all well and good to get organized and try to maximize one's day.  But what I've gotten here and here and here (see Of Regrets and Resolutions-- awesome!) is a little perspective.  There are so many good things to choose from in life.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could choose all of them.  And isn't there a lot of pressure right now to do it all?  As a culture we are infected with hurry sickness, myself included, to squeeze in as much as possible into life.  But what are we trying to squeeze in?  How much will the things we do today really matter when life is done?

Is more really better?  More toys just add more work in clutter.  More activities make us rush around with little time to think or connect or see other people around us that might need our help.

So as I prepare to attack my schedule and planning, I'm also going to be focusing on what to cut out.  Off the top of my head, I think I could check Facebook less (all the political updates are driving me crazy anyway) and substitute some real face time with people I care about.  Trying to stave off my continous snack attack would give me more time and a smaller waistline.  :)  Even if I give up one little five minute time waster (ahem, Instagram), I can make those five minutes meaningful to one of my children.

During a recent event, I found that all my children were happily occupied and I found myself beckoned by some beautiful craggy autumn trees through some underbrush to the bank of a small river, that glinted orange and yellow in the lazy afternoon sunlight.  I remembered -pause- that somewhere under the busy mom is a person who had (wait, has!) goals and dreams for my life.  I realized I need to be alone more often-- for a little clarity, in my own life and so I can better help those in my care.  Then one minute later my cute husband and baby came trundling along behind me, with little happy smiles on their faces.  Happy sigh.  Alone time over, but I'm lucky to have these dear people to keep me running!  I just need to make sure I'm running where I want to go, enjoying the journey, and not just the destination.

What do you cut out of your schedule in order to simplify?  What is your favorite quiet moment?  And how do you fend off guilt when you say "no?"   

As a side note, you can get I Never Planned to be a Witch (Eyre)-- I think-- for free on the Power of Moms website if you sign up for emails.  I have a link in my sidebar.  It is an encouraging, simple book that I really enjoyed and felt inspired by. 

Month 6

I can't believe at the end of this month I will be halfway through a year!  It has flown by.  So far, my life feels so much more full and happy and I can see a big difference in my kids and myself.

I'm going to do something a little similar to what I did in one other month.  I'm taking the first week for organization and then I'll annnounce what I'll be working on for the few weeks after the week is over.

This week:

1 - Make a schedule for the year.  I'm always wanting to be more purposeful about how we spend time together, so I'm actually going to plan it out.  No more looking back and thinking, I wanted to give my kids more cultural experiences, but the year flew by before I knew it!  I'm going to plan out specifics.  (I've already worked on this a few hours, I just need to finish it!)

2 - Make a prioritized vacation list with my husband for the next ten years.  Since we only do one vacation a year, this should be pretty easy. (The Parenting Breakthrough has me inspired to do more planning from back to front)

3 - Update my kids school job charts.

4 - Plan a family home evening schedule for the year. 

5 - Refine my budget.

6 -  Go over my daily schedule, either refine it or make a morning/evening routine list to help manage or mornings and evenings. (Including a routine for and a set place for homework)

I have already worked on something today (see top photo).  I've been wanting to help my kids get in a better routine with piano and jobs and homework but I don't want to nag.  TV/computer (I cut the kids back to 1 hour a day in the summer) is a powerful motivator but we have a screen free rule on weeknights.  We try to make movie night on Friday special to make up for it.  But this means the kids are mostly motivated to do their jobs on Friday and Saturday and not during the week, because there is no incentive.  So, I'm going to try this.  I made "movie tickets" that they must present in order to come to the movie on Friday night.  They must have them filled out with their practice time and have done jobs and homework each day in order to attend.

On a side note, I'm so excited for the coming month.  I love Halloween and the leaves and the cooller weather.  Fall is my favorite.  Plus, I'm taking advantage of the fact my baby still gets to wear those cute tight PJ's.  These are new and he couldn't stop saying "truck" and "tractor!" 

What motivates your kids? What is your favorite part of the fall season? 

If you want an electronic copy of our "movie ticket," email me and I'll send it to you.  Probably I'm the only one out there who needs something like this! 

This Month (3) (good)

It's month three, and this month I'm going to add some flexibility into my project. 

For the first week, I'm going to work on organization (surprise!) :).  I feel I need to be more specific with my resolutions from now on, since some of my more amorphous goals have gotten me into trouble in the past.  :)  Before I start my list, I'm going to pick up the book The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Boyack, which has jobs broken down according to age group and tips on helping children learn how to work.

1)  Update my kids' job charts for the summer (we use this)
2)  Set some simple, concrete family goals and rules like this
3)  Finish my budget
4)  Review the schedule I made last month and start using it :)
5)  Go through the house with the kids and pull out things for a yard sale
6)  Review the Saturday cleaning list I made last month and start using it

After my week's worth of organizing, I'm going to take a small break from The Five Love Languages of Children to work with my kids on learning how to work.  This will be my well refiller for this month, too, as I focus on being more productive myself.

                                                     
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Here is some humor for today:

I just took a break from blogging because my six said "Mom, come, it's an emergency!"  Lets just say someone had an accident on the wood floor and was happily stomping up and down in her own puddle.

Yesterday the same girl told me "Mom, my tummy wants to watch another show."

Just now she was shouting angrily through a closed door at her sister: "I'm about to get very angry!"

A Good Break

School is out.  I'll admit I had a little trepidation about the change in schedule beforehand, but it has been so nice.  We've spent the last couple of days sequestered together with no where to go and nothing formal to do.  Its been so nice just being together after a busy year.  I'm working on planning some summer activities and making a summer routine, as I'm learning that positive speaking on my part hinges partially on how smoothly things function around here.  I'm also working on some awards I saw on this blog (71 Toes) to try positive (free) rewards for good behavior, both things I want them to work on and things they choose to work on (so I can encourage their goals, not just my goals for them).  One of the things I love about these rewards is it encourages the kids to praise their siblings, too, as each week the family discusses the awards together.

Some highlights of the last two days:  shelling fresh peas from our garden, the afternoon light shining through empty emerald-piled husks, reading a heap of stories just because we can, watching the National Spelling Bee with homemade popcorn, and snuggling up with my three year old in a tent in our backyard, watching my six year-old hold a blanket to her nose like when she was a baby, me wondering where the time has gone; the lights from the house glowing faintly through thin khaki tent fabric as we listened to frogs, a pasture sprinkler, quieting neighborhood sounds, and sleepy chat drift off in bleary yawns.