Olympus Still Producing Heroes: the Percy Jackson Series Gives Hope to Sufferers from ADHD and Dyslexia

Percy Jackson isn't your typical teen.  He has ADHD and dyslexia and has been kicked out of more schools that you can imagine.  He often blurts things out, though he doesn't mean to.  To top it off, his mom lives with a real jerk, "smelly" Gabe, while Percy pines for the dad he never knew.  In spite of all this, one of his teachers, Mr. Brunner, still believes that Percy has real potential, though Percy can't figure out why.  When was the last time "D's" showed that someone had potential?  It isn't until Percy's math teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a fanged, leathery black winged creature and tries to kill him on a school field trip that he finds out he isn't normal.  Percy makes it to Camp Halfblood with his friend Grover, an awkward, limping teen who happens to be a satyr sent to protect him.  There he finds the world of Greek myths he'd learned in school were no myth--  instead very real and dangerous, especially for all halfbloods, many of whom make the camp home for all or part of each year.  The Gods and monsters of legend are very much alive, many of them living in New York.   The kids at camp are in "hero" training, all of them demigods, children of mortal parents and one godly parent.  Most of them are children of lesser gods, since the big three-- Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades-- made a pact after World War II that they wouldn't sire any more children with mortal women.

At Camp Halfblood, Percy discovers that he has many hidden powers as a rare son of the sea God, Poseidon.  There he trains to fight monsters, meets new and unusual friends, consults a withered mummy-like oracle, and discovers that he possesses a destiny that will mean the destruction or salvation of the gods, gods whose fate is closely intertwined with that of Western Civilization.  He must go on a dangerous quest, his first of many, to restore the stolen lightening bolt of Zeus himself.  Percy proves himself a true hero, showing that he will stop at nothing to thwart evil and protect his friends.  His dyslexia is really a manifestation that he was hardwired to read ancient Greek.  And it is his ADHD that gives him his incredible battle reflexes, traits he shares with the other demigods, most of whom are dyslexic and ADHD themselves.

His friend, Annabeth, daughter of Athena, and the main female protagonist in the series, explains to him: "The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hard-wired for ancient Greek....And the A.D.H.D. - you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's."

This is an easy-to read series written for tweens, with likable protagonists and despicable villains.  The action is exciting and "perfectly paced," as described in a New York Times review by Polly Shulman (here): "with electrifying moments chasing each other like heartbeats." It is sprinkled with generous loads of humor, woven throughout with Greek stories and myths, along with some mild cursing on the River Styx.  Riordan weaves the worlds of old and new in a fun and believable style-- in which one can say the words ADHD and Manhattan and Minotaur without breaking a sweat.  (The war god Ares wears black leather and rides a Harley, for example, while Poseidon often appears wearing Bermuda shorts)  These books may even may make you want to break out your old Greek mythology books; both of my Percy readers showed an increased interest in mythology after reading the series.

My oldest two children have read all of Riordan's books, and for months they begged me to give The Lightning Thief a try.  The catalyst, for me, was driving in the car one day with the kids.  I was agonizing over how to test the waters in regards to the possibility that one or more of my five children may have ADHD (two have since been diagnosed).  When I finally broached the subject, my ten year-old surprised me by getting an excited gleam in her eye.  It was obvious that she was flattered by the idea that she might have ADHD, which left me feeling a bit baffled.  A few days later, when she casually mentioned Percy Jackson's ADD, a light bulb went off in my head.   The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series had made her feel that ADHD was "cool."  Whew!  I wanted to go out and give Rick Riordan a big bear hug right then and there.

Riordan treats the pros and cons of ADHD like a pro himself-- ultimately giving the reader a respect for the untapped powers and hidden hero within each ADD child, as well as giving an accurate and compassionate glimpse into his or her struggles.

***

Fun Fact:  Riordan invented the Percy Jackson stories in an effort to help his son, who suffered from ADHD and dyslexia, get into reading.  You can read more about that here, including Riordan's suggestions for inspiring kids with ADHD challenges to become avid readers.  My own daughter, mentioned above, was so inspired by heroes like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter (or Hermoine and Annabeth, really) and meeting author Shannon Hale, that she started writing her own book.  So far, I think it is one of her own hidden gifts.  Sounds like Riordan's son just completed a 600 page manuscript of his own.  I think I have some new heroes, and they don't live over the Empire State Building, erm, Olympus.

For fans, Rick Riordan's blog is here.  And his newest book in the Heroes of Olympus series, House of Hades, will be available on October 8 of this year.

Memorial Day

We went together to mother's grave, where our children sponateously started to "decorate" it with little leaves and rocks. I thought it was a sweet and tender moment.  Only one of these children knew his grandmother when she was alive. 

We had to remind our children a couple of times to be respectful in the graveyard, but as I watched their child-like energy and innocence I was reminded how refreshing children are.  I thought that if the dear loved ones passed on saw us now, they would probably relish the sound of children's laughter and play. 

When I'm in a crowded restaurant or airport or somewhere else, its easy for me to get frustrated as I try to keep my children "invisible" to other adults who I'm afraid they'll bother.  While I do need to teach my children manners, I also need to chill out.  I don't want to spend their whole childhood shushing them and corralling them if they aren't really hurting anything.  This is such a precious time and their innocence is so sweet and refreshing, I need to be mindful of it and appreciate it and enjoy it.  One of my favorite memories is of a time when we visited some friends at a pool party-- we'd been somewhere in our church clothes and meant to just drop in.  Well, our kids somehow ended up all wet and we ended up letting them just swim in their church clothes.  Nothing was ruined and it has been a fun memory.

Sorry

Sorry for the terrible posting record!

I am thinking about making this blog private.  If you would like a blog invitation, send me an email in the next couple of weeks, okay?

Love to all.

Goal Update and a Few Funnies

I haven't updated on goals for a while, so here goes.  :)

Remember when I updated our job chart?  We went from this (we still use it for Saturdays after all) to this:



The simplicity makes it easy to keep track of, but I'm kind of intermittent on the reinforcement end, so we've had mixed results.  I think it would work just fine if I kept up with it!  We find ourselves pretty busy on weekdays with sports, piano, dance, homework, etc, so I'm not too bent out of shape if I have to sweep the floor myself while someone practices, though I feel that I could definitely do better in this area.

Remember when I worked on some personal things like exercising and getting up early?  (it was a roller coaster!  I made it a goal a couple of times and struggled with it both times)  I have almost weaned the little one, which has made a huge difference in my energy levels (and wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be!).  He slept through the night for the first time a couple of months ago, after I'd cut back on the nursing (I know, I know, don't say what you're thinking :) ).  I have been able to get up early consistently and exercise, and it has been amazing!  I can't believe how much more I get done, too.  Somehow that has made the transition out of nursing easier (I was so worried I would be super sad when I was done nursing!).

Being able to exercise, sleep through the night, and be able to get things done around here has been a huge mood booster for me.  I'm planning on being completely done with nursing here in the next month or so (famous last words!  my loved ones are probably tired of hearing this), and this month I've been working on adding in a little more quality time with the little ones each day.  While I still don't know any better, I'd like to take the extra time I was spending nursing and spend it on the kids.  So far this month, we've been enjoying beautiful weather, so we've gone on a lot of bike rides, we've visited lots of parks, we even had a picnic in the back yard yesterday.  I'm always surprised (even though I know better) that I often feel a little harried before I spend time with the kids, with laundry and dishes and other things calling me away, but once I get started, I really enjoy myself and I'm always glad I did it.  The littlest boy has been asking me to do things "a-gether," as in, "come on, Mom!  Let's go down the slide a-gether!  Let's have lunch a-gether!" (he wants me to sit right next to him, I have to slide my chair right next to his)  So cute.

Here are a few funny things they've said recently.

E. looked at some pink clouds around sunset the other day and asked me-- "are they hot?" (the clouds)  When it looks like its going to rain, his older sister asks me if the clouds are "filthy."

E. calls the swimming pool the "swimming cool."

A. says funny things too.  One day she left a toy at a friends house and begged and begged to go back and get it.  I had so many other things going on it just wasn't too high on my priority list, you know?  Finally she said, "Mom, have mercy on a poor girl!  Can't we just go get it?  I mean, have mercy!"  That made me laugh, and it made me go get her giraffe.

E. choked the other night on something, and when he was done, he let out a breathy sigh of relief.  With big eyes he turned to my husband and said "I was...a dragon!"  Now he says that every time he coughs or gags.

The other day he told me "I need my coat.  My knees are cold."

I overheard the littlest girl having a very frank conversation with a couple of preschool friends one day and it struck me funny.  I tried to imagine adults having a similarly honest conversation and it made me laugh.  My daughter said to her friend, "you're my friend.  I like you.  But sometimes you're mean."  Her friend, not at all offended, nodded and said "yeah.  And sometimes when I come to your house I have fun and sometimes I get scared."  To which mine replied, "yeah, me too.  Sometimes when I go to your house I want to go home."

I hope you have a great weekend!  I forgot to report that my leg is feeling much better-- thank you for the concern some of you have so kindly shared!

A Grumpy Week

It has been a long, grumpy week around these parts.  I don't know if we're just adjusting to Daylight Savings or what, but we've had an unusual amount of whining, fighting, and dragging about.  I have been especially grumpy too!  My leg has been killing me.  I have had a hard time getting stuff done around the house, so it has been a huge mess (like, can't see the floor in a few rooms sort of mess, ouch, though we got it clean today).  I tell you what, I have sure been appreciating what a difference it makes to have a healthy body and how chronic pain can really affect a person's mood.  I have been a bit "snappish" all week.

I have also realized how lucky I have been so far in the sibling rivalry department.  I have two kids that have suddenly been at each other a lot over the last couple of months, and it is driving me crazy.  It seems like they are constantly picking at each other, and one in particular always ends up crying.  Fun.  It just so happens the said two offending parties also share a room, so we'll be working on that.  A few nights ago, I reached a breaking point; I thought-- I just can't do it any more.  Not one more day.  (I've also had some bedtime struggles lately-- all of the kids totally wired at bed time!)  I sat myself down, frustrated and exhausted one night, and poked around the internet for ideas about sibling room sharing arrangements.  It wasn't much help.  It seems like there were lots of people on there debating the pros and cons of room sharing, as if everyone has a choice between the two options of private or shared rooms. For us, with seven people in the family and four bedrooms, there is no choice.  Kids have to share.  The suggestions that were floating around were things like: try to match up kids ages and genders, so there isn't a large discrepancy between bed times, for example.  The trouble is, I'm splitting up two similar aged kids because they couldn't get along, and if we went for the gender thing then I'd have my two year-old in with my 12 year-old, and they don't have similar schedules.  So I ended up more frustrated than I'd started.

A few days ago, I tried to tackle my complete disaster of a house on my gimpy, painful leg, and for some reason, my littlest two decided they were feeling really needy all of a sudden.  They both decided at that moment to ask for lots of drinks, hang on my legs and ask to be held, and things like that (and they generally don't understand about my sore leg and try to jump on me and things like that, which is fine under normal circumstances, but...).  I went to my bedroom and sat among the fantastic ruins of my laundry, and started on the epic task.  The littlest boy loves to play with laundry, for some reason.  He can make quick work of a folded pile.  He also loves to throw sorted laundry (and folded laundry) as well as step on the piles.  Inside, I was screaming, my skin crawling like crazy.  On the outside, I probably looked very grumpy.  The little ones surprised me by offering to help.  Even the little boy started scrunching stuff up and handing it to me, very proudly, and I felt the irritation melting away.  They were--are-- so cute.

And then today I met a single mother with five kids who has to work two jobs.  She said she and her kids share a two bedroom house.  Ouch.  I suddenly felt very, very guilty for wishing I had the luxury of sticking each of my kids in separate bedrooms and locking the door!

So, bottom line, I have it great.  Really, really great.  Sometimes it is easy to get hung up on the little things and forget the big picture.  I chose these kids, and they are the best choice I ever made.  I am really thankful I have them around, for so many reasons.  Even if every day isn't perfect, I would choose them over again every time.

I have some funny things to share with you soon!  Also, I know I'm crazy, but while I was in the writers groove I just decided to write a children's fantasy novel.  It has been fun.  I love that I can involve my kids this time around.  My oldest two beg for more, which is a good sign, so I've been trying to pump out a chapter or two each day during nap time, when possible.  It has been a fun creative outlet and good for bonding, too.  They also have surprisingly great ideas and always make me feel like a million bucks-- they've been very enthusiastic.  Have a great weekend!

Halloween

Morning-after candy coma.

I think the kids had a great Halloween, in spite of a near-bomb because I was feeling terrible!  I had surgery a week ago Friday and I have been in a lot of pain.  It was a crazy week for a post-surgery mom of 5, with two Halloween piano recitals, dance carpool, preschool, Halloween parades at the school, music class, and the like!

Day after Halloween was so beautiful!  I had to go out and take a few photos.  I love watching the leaves change, but there is something extra special when your very own trees do it.  So fun to watch.

 A last minute pumpkin (literally carved in the five minutes between dinner and trick-or-treating.  I love it.  It has a lot of character.)

 My husband made a "pumpkin patch" for dinner.

 The beautiful girl in the photo above made these adorable costumes for the kids' animals.

Goodbye Halloween!  See you next year!

Candy Coma

I hope you had a fantastic Halloween!  We still have sugar coursing through our bloodstream over here.  I pretty much let my kids eat as much candy as they want for a day or so, then I regulate it a bit for a few days.  At some point

Crazy Home Photo Shoot and Other Goings On

I have been wanting to take the kids photos for ages, but the littlest one got a black eye (his sister got him with her elbow when swinging) that lasted forever (okay, just a few weeks, he bumped it in the same spot when it was almost better!).  Our schedule is a bit busy at the moment, we have something going on after school nearly every day.  And our hot water tank has decided to work sometimes, and not other times, so there were times when I couldn't give anyone a bath.  Sorry, too much information!  We finally got around to doing photos a week ago, but I got out the door a few minutes too late and so we had to just jump out in a spot that wasn't where I'd planned to take photos, and it got dark so fast I wasn't able to take very many.  I didn't get a single picture with everyone smiling or looking at the camera, darn it.  Oh well.  Turns out one at the first of the post is one of my favorites.

 Frisco, Colorado!  So beautiful.  Now I want to go back and spend some time there!

 This is where we stayed on the scrapbook retreat-- it was so refreshing.

So many of my most favorite, inspirational, funny, kind ladies in one spot.  I am so lucky to count them as friends!  (and some other favorites not pictured here!)

 I heard noises one night after the kids were supposed to be in bed.  When I went upstairs I found them dressed in black playing "ninjas."  Nice.

My favorite time of year!  I got to look at these gorgeous mountains while I wrote my book-- perfect inspiration!

One reason I wasn't around last week like I meant to be (hall of shame, I'm so sorry), is that I had surgery on the varicose veins in one of my legs.  I'll update you soon.  (it hurts!  but I think I'm going to be glad later when my ginormous purple bruise finally stops hurting!)

Love to all.

Raising Emotionally Healthy Children

I should just stop saying sorry for being around less than I meant to be!   I had surgery on the veins in my leg yesterday, which went well, though I'm a bit sore today.

I did some research for a character in my book and I learned some really fascinating thing about how certain child-rearing practices affect people into adulthood.  I read a book by Alice Miller titled The Drama of the Gifted Child.

A Little Update

I was going to post twice this week, and here I am.  I can't stop fiddling with my book, as terrible as it probably is.

The kids have been home on vacation this week, so we've done some fun things together; we visited a Planetarium, the pumpkin patch, and several parks.  We've had a good time.  :)

There are some funny things my kids have said recently, here goes one of them (I thought I'd been storing them up, and I just can't remember!):

One day we were getting out of the car and my oldest son (12) said to the little boy (2), ruffling his hair affectionately (and rhetorically, I might add), "are you my minion?"  to which Emerson replied in a tiny halting voice, "we're.....all.....minions."  We laughed so hard at that.  :)

I wish I could remember the rest, sigh.

One day I filled the bath for an older child and then went downstairs to work on the dishes.  I could tell by the sounds filtering down the stairs that Emerson had gotten in too, which was fine with me since he was with said older child and the sounds of the two playing were so happy.  I didn't even think too much about it until he came squishing down the stairs fully clothed!  He even had his rain boots on, which squirted and squished out water with every step.  His held his little arms away from his body, his clothes hanging on him heavily while he dripped a puddle on the floor!  I laughed so hard about the boots-- they were hard to pull off when full of water!  I didn't get the best photo, but here it is:

And you get to see my nice clean floor to boot.  Just to make you feel like you've had a vicarious adventure today!  I hope you have a great weekend.  I have more photos for next week.

Long and Lost

I have been away so long, dearest ones!  Way longer than I meant to.  I started writing a novel during nap time, which is normally my blogging time, and I didn't have time for both because I didn't want to take time away from my kids!   I found writing to be really thrilling and fun, as the writing took me in directions all on its own, time melting by way too quickly!  Maybe the novel is truly terrible, but it was very fun to write, and a first draft is done.  As per my normal, I always talk too much, so it is a little long.

Here are a few other things I was able to do.

A local college rivalry football game with my husband and my oldest son. We lost, but we got to spend some fun time together cheering at the game, as well as enjoying memories of my beloved alma mater, including dinner at the track where I used to spend many hours running with the track team (kind of ironic, eating there, because I think I lost my lunch there a few times).

I went to a Gordon Lightfoot concert with my dad.  Amazing.  The man's voice was a little shaky but it transported me back to my old river guiding days, his voice is so organic sounding and beautiful.  And his prose is so beautiful.  I found out that he has been named by some as Canada's greatest songwriter of all time, a title I think he deserves.  And I so enjoyed being with my dad!  Speaking of music goals (remember when I made the goal to introduce my kids to good music?)-- I realized that my taste in music, which leans toward folksy-guitar music of the type played by the likes of James Taylor, John Denver, and Jim Croce was probably inspired by my dad, who used to listen to them on an 8 track player in a little work room of our old house when I was a little girl.  I loved to visit him there and look at the little intricate carvings he did as a hobby.

  (to listen to the gorgeous lyrics he wrote about Canada in his Canadian Railroad Trilogy see here....He was quite entertaining, putting a lot of energy into his songs even though his voice was weak with age at times...and he wore a velvet jacket, what's not to love about that?)

I went to a scrapbook retreat with friends from Colorado.  I have gone once before, but it has been five years!  I have missed them so much, they have been such kind and caring friends over the years, even when we have lived away.  We ate junk food and deliciously prepared meals, watched TV in our pajamas, and our church's annual conference.  We chatted, cried, and laughed and generally had a great time!  I missed my kids nearly the whole time, worrying a bit about the littlest, who I've never left, even though I had such a great time.  But I do think it is important enough to maintain those friendships and get a little time-- and I enjoyed seeing the kids so much when I got back.

So, it was a lazy-ish month, I guess, and I will be back to posting at least twice a week around here from now on.  I need you to keep me honest as I try to get back on track with my goals!

This month I'm going to work on some goals we set as a family at the start of the school year.  We decided to continue making home lunches throughout the year and decided to make sure all electronics are turned off on school nights, replacing some of that time with more consistent reading.

Clear as mud!  I sure missed you and hope you are well, and sorry to be gone for so long!

Missed You

Dearest ones,

I missed you!  We had a good, busy month.  My oldest son started junior high, which I touched on briefly before I left.   It has been a busy adjustment but we've been weathering through it just fine.

I am feeling terrible about being such a slacker!  And yet, I guess it's probably good I haven't blogged, because I worked on my book during blogging time.  I just didn't want to take time away from the kids, though I think I did so after all anyway.

Back Soon

Dearest ones,

I promise I will be back soon!  I have some great photos of our Labor Day weekend.  I have goal reports to make.  I have funny stories to tell you.  I have been busy with the start of school and...a novel I started a few weeks ago just for fun; it may be embarrassingly terrible, but it feels great to get the ideas out of my head and on to paper after sitting in my head for almost two years!  I have had to sneak in some writing time at nap time, and now that I've started I just want to finish!  I will see you soon.

Love to all.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

I was honored to write a guest post about the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series on Pete Quily's blog Adult ADD Strengths.  This was a really fun series to read, full of adventure, gods and monsters, and likeable heroes.  Riordan wrote the series for his son, who was struggling in school and eventually diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia (his son has now completed a 500 page manuscript of his own).  Most of the demigods in the series have ADHD and dyslexia, which makes school challenging but also gives them their great battle reflexes (and signals that they are wired to read ancient Greek, not English).  Percy Jackson, rare son of the sea god Poseidon, is an endearing hero on par with the likes of Harry Potter.  Read my review on Pete's blog here. 

Some Funnies

Little ones have been saying funny things right and left these days.  Lets see if I can remember them!

Just this morning, my oldest son, who is almost 12 (sniff), was sitting on the floor in his pajama shorts when he casually pulled out a tooth and asked if I had a baggie in an off-hand way.  Immediately Emerson, the two year old, said "I wanna try it!" and opened his mouth.  What?!  He then proceeded to follow K around crying for ten minutes, begging "I wanna try the toofer!"  We tried letting him hold it, but he would open his mouth wide instead!  Gross.  We didn't want to go that far, so we placated him by promising to look for a different tooth in a different room. (thankfully, he got distracted)

He thinks "cute" is the opposite of "big."  The other day we were registering big bro for junior high.  The lobby had some blue terraced carpeted steps which of course drew the little boy like a magnet.  He loves to climb stuff.  The next thing I knew, he was standing at the top with his arms outstretched and the biggest grin on his face (and he has a little dimple!  it is so cute!).  He shouted out "I'm BIIIIGG!"   Then he jumped down a level and announced in a small voice, arms outstretched again "now I'm cute!"  Then up again "now I'm big again!"  Ha ha.  Today he pulled a drink straw in and out while saying, "now its big, now its cute, now its big, now its cute."

On that same line, E. likes to comment on the weather every time we get in the car.  It took a few weeks for him to transition from commenting that it was cold to using the word hot.  Then one day I put him in his car seat and he said to me "it's big hot."   On a different day, when the weather was cooler (the one and only day this summer?), he paused for a minute before he turned to me with surprise a little lilt in his voice: "it's.........cute hot."

My little four year-old says funny things all of the time too.  The other day she asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up.  Then I asked her.  She said: "I want to be a....horse." 

One day, someone filled an entire glass full of milk for the littlest boy.  What?  Then said older child decided she made a mistake after all.  But it was too late.  He sensed that his milk was about to be confiscated, so he ran like a banshee all the way from the dining room table to the study, leaving a trail of sloshing milk and sliding into home as it were on the milk as the glass went flying (not broken, whew!).  Of course, we had to take a picture.  Not the best, and you can see my messy house, but cest la vie.

Happy Thursday!

Ordinary Days

Lately, this little girl is the night nomad.  She likes to migrate to whichever sibling's room she feels least "scared" in.  That is often big brother's room.  She has a little crib mattress she'll move around, but on this night it apparently wasn't enough.  So glad her big brother is so nice to her.  (and of course she insists on wearing skirts, even to bed!  very much a little girl.)

 I'm still not getting much sleep but this little boy is worth it.  I could just eat him up.

These two insisted I bring my camera when I came out to see their creation.  I was glad I did.  Sure a pretty little creation, even if it involved the death of some of my flowers. :)

Love the ordinary moments, the little ones that make life so good!  Sometimes I am tempted to wait to enjoy them, you know, when the dishes are done or when I lose five pounds.  But then those sweet little moments will be gone!  No better time to enjoy them than right now.

I forgot to report last month on the goal that involved introducing the kids to good music (I have introduced them to classical music, just not other types).  It was a lot of fun.  I rediscovered old loves, like Cat Stevens, Carli Simon, and Gordon Lightfoot (reminds me of the time when I used to work on the Snake River!  Speaking of, we took a trip to Jackson that I will blog about some day soon!  So behind, so behind).  One of my favorite new discoveries is the band Five for Fighting...as well as re-discovering the classic sound of Frank Sinatra and others like him via new-love Pandora!  I also rediscovered why I haven't done more of this in the past-- some seemingly harmless songs have messages that are too mature for little ones.  But we're going to keep on.  We have had some fun times with the music cranked up and everyone dancing that I have recently wondered how I became such a old stiff momma before this part of the project.  Happy Monday!

Hold Your Little Ones a Little Longer

I am sorry for the silence on my end these days.  This has been the craziest summer I've had as a mom.  And there have been some unexpected twists and turns here and there.  Today was one of those.  I attended the kind of funeral you hope never to; it hit me full force as I watched a couple wheel out a tiny pine casket with yellow and blue flowers on its side.  My cousin's little eighteen month old daughter was killed in a tragic accident over the weekend.  I tell you, I just wasn't sure if I could do it.  I was starting to count the number of funerals I have been to that have involved family members over the last few years, and this makes number six.  I just couldn't bear the sadness, you know?  But then I decided that it would be better to show my support, and I was so glad I went.  Yes, it was so gut-wrenchingly sad!  So different from any other funeral I have been to.  I hope never to have to attend another one of its kind again.

So, hug your children a little tighter tonight, for me.  Drink in that beautiful little-one scent.  Play an extra five minutes, be a little more patient, offer a kind word.  Tragedy can strike any of us, at any time, no matter how vigilant we are.  These little ones are such gifts.  I don't want to take this day for granted.

Little Transitions and Letting Go

I was standing in my yellow plastic flip flops on asphalt running with tarred spider web lines.  I know, because I was looking at them.  The morning sun was up, barely, casting a golden glow on the group of scout-shirted young boys, who were piling their stuff in front of a big trailer and otherwise milling around and joking with each other.  I had butterflies or something making my stomach feel all fluttery or like there was a dead weight pulling downward on my heart.  My little boy isn't so little anymore!  Going on his first campout, almost five days, away from home!  Would he fit in with the other boys?  Would he drift off into a brain coma and fall off a cliff?  Would he remember to brush his teeth and wear sunscreen?  Would he have the guts to stand up to other boys if they ask him to do something he shouldn't?

I know I sound lame.  I know it.  I mean, is the world going to end if he doesn't brush his teeth for a week?  But really, these questions are just the tip of the iceberg, that lead to deeper questions really at the heart of my anxiety this morning.  He is on the cusp of adolescence, as we leave behind a familiar path and head into unknown territory, for both of us.  What will the changes bring?

Honestly, the teen years scare the beegeezes out of me.  Mostly because I remember my own struggles to find out who I was, search for peer acceptance and eventually find self acceptance, and see my own place in the world.  Those years of acne and braces, sorry, wouldn't go back, not in a million years.  Painful.  But they also taught me a lot, so I wouldn't take them away, either.  Maybe that is the elephant in the room that I'm ultimately afraid of.  Pain.  I don't want to watch my kids suffer.  Who does?  But some pain, well, just like weightlifting breaks down muscle cells in order to rebuild them in a stronger fashion, so to hard things make us stronger.  When the kids are little, protecting them is a full-time job.  But as they grow older, that protective role sort of fades, and one mut

Some more experienced mothers helped me feel better on this morning.  And then the boys all took their hats off and said a prayer, as the morning light wrapped itself around us and I felt myself suddenly knowing it would be okay.  Not only would it be okay, but it would be good.  It sure helped that the boy praying prayed that the boys would be safe, listen to their leaders, and work to include all of the boys (I wanted to give his mom a hug right then and there).  And you know what, it was a fantastic experience for him.  I will admit that I did have a little empty hole in my heart all week.  I really, really missed him.  So did the rest of the family.  It wasn't the same around here without his happy, pleasant personality.  (and he helps me a lot more than I realize!)

So, I decided that often the growing pains experiences of parenthood come with transitions-- when children who have been home all day go to school full-time, when they leave behind childhood and eventually leave home.  These days are painful because we  must find a new way.  The old path was good, it was beautiful, filled with gorgeous memories.  The new path is unknown, untried.  It is more challenging, with more experiences that allow for growth as well as opportunities for bigger slip-ups.  And a parent treading this road must go from holding a hand, to a gradual change to encouragement and cheerleading.

This Month's Goals

Making some progress on this month's goals!  (it's a miracle)  It is kind of funny that I have been congratulating myself on getting to this at the beginning of the month, instead of waiting until the end, and yet, I see that the actual completion of this project has begun to stretch out to the middle of the month already!  That's okay.

We are swapping out job chart systems.  I've tried to take into account my own challenges (I need simple, low maintenance job charts) as well as my kids' (after books like this one) in starting this new system.  They will be given laminated, re-usable "routine cards" they need to complete before breakfast and dinner, and they'll each have a daily job that will change each week.  The tags (which have a magnet on the back) above are supposed to have their names or initials written in chalk, but it just didn't look good, so I'm trying to figure out something else.  And we're going to start allowance.  I've got all of this 90% done, lets see if I can actually finish it in the next few days!

I bought materials for this stuff at Hobby Lobby, including the magnetic chalkboard. The tags are made from jewelry charms.  Sort of shooting from the hip over here.  Sometimes it turns out cute, and other times it doesn't.  (when this project was half way finished I wondered what in the bleep I was thinking!  The magnetic chalkboard what hard to cut!  There was crafting mess spread to kingdom come!  And it looked...not very good.  But then it started to look better, whew!)

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Will be guest blogging on another blog probably some time this week, I'll let you know! 

Sonoma Coast and Glass Beach

After we left Point Reyes, we drove north along the California coast through Sonoma Coast State Park.  At some point, in order to avoid disappointment, we told the kids that we were on an "explore the beach" and not a "swim in the ocean" vacation, because of the cold and dangerous surf.  They took this well,  and seemed to enjoy the beach-combing and tidal pooling.  We collected a lot of rocks and shells and sundry other items on this trip, myself included (I swear I'm still finding rocks and shells in my laundry!  but it was worth it).

 The pocket-filling begins.

 >>>>>>End Sonoma Coast State Park, Begin Glass Beach. :)

 Someone told us that we could scoop up the glass by the handfuls.  The whole beach was like this.  Super cool.

 We found lots of little crabs on this beach!

I scheduled our trip a little too tight, which is a temptation of mine!  Its hard to resist seeing as much as possible.  But it is also nice to be able to relax and enjoy the places I'm visiting!  Do you like your vacations slow and relaxing or do you like to see as many sights as possible (or a mixture of both!)?

When I plan a trip, I love to use the Frommer's travel guides.  We learned to love them while we lived in England.  Maybe because I have a hard time making decisions, I like the fact that Frommers, for big cities anyway, will give attractions a "star" rating.  This helps me prioritize because of course I can't choose it all!  I also try to see things in terms of what I value (love me a good art museum!  I wanted to do a museum in SF so badly!  But it didn't work out).  And, particularly with kids, I think vacations are an investment in their education.  There is something about experiencing things that teaches me about a particular subject so much more profoundly than just reading about it in a book.  So I try to keep this in mind too-- which activities will enrich my kids the most.