24th of July Weekend

Whew!  We packed 'er up again last weekend and drove to my father-in-law's house in Wyoming.  Lets just say we are experiencing vacation fatigue.  :)  None of the kids were too happy about packing a suitcase again or driving again, especially on the heels of the start of school.  But it was a great weekend and very refreshing.

(Photos cred belongs to my husband in this post)

We attended the local parade, as has become tradition for us.  For those of you who don't know, I am LDS (Mormon).  We celebrate the 24th of July as a holiday because that is the day we commemorate the arrival of the Mormon pioneers into the Salt Lake Valley, after they were driven out of the midwest.  We often celebrate with parades, activities, and fireworks, which often feels eerily similar to the way we celebrate the 4th of July, with a pioneer flavor being a distinguishing factor.  Even though I have rejected some Mormon cultural norms, like jell-o (Mormon food in general is nooooott my favorite-- see some links at the bottom of the post) and politics (though I love my religion, I'm talking more incidentals that have nothing to do with religion, that have somehow become Mormon cultural traditions), I feel a lot of awe and respect when I think of my own pioneer ancestors.  I admire their courage in leaving behind their lives-- their homes, their families, their faith, all that was familiar, to strike out into the unknown because of some deeply held (new) beliefs.  Their hardship and suffering were a crucible that refined their hearts, humbled their lives, and shaped the growth of a hardy people in the wilds of the west.  Add to that, not only the striking out West, but the loss of loved ones along the way and a focus on dreams for the future while trying not to relive the nightmares of a persecuted past.

I love the upbeat tone of this song (Come, Come Ye Saints), considering all they had been through.  It always inspires me and makes me see that my problems are smaller than they often feel.  Here is one verse:

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!

Another favorite, one that always stirs my blood, is called Carry On.

Firm as the mountains around us,
Stalwart and brave we stand
On the rock our fathers planted
For us in this goodly land—
The rock of honor and virtue,
Of faith in the living God.
They raised his banner triumphant—
Over the desert sod.

Whenever I see the Salt Lake Temple, I think of the "rock our father's planted"-- hand-hewn, literal rock-- and how it represents the faith and tenacity of the early settlers.  The thing took 40 years to build, and much personal sacrifice, and now stands as a testament to them and their faith in God in spite of all they went through.  It has been a "rock" for many since-- bringing them closer to God, offering peace and comfort, and symbolizing family and its importance, to name a few.  I also have loved the symbolism of building my life on a rock, by being kind, honorable, and good (here).  And even though I think "rock" in this instance means Jesus Christ, I love the idea that it is our ancestors that help to "plant" it-- showing the importance, for me, of being a good parent so my kids and those that follow will have a strong foundation wherewith to weather the storms of life.  And that I can gather strength, when I need to, from those who have gone on before.

Sometimes the actual meaning of the holiday can get lost in the sticky taffy and smell of burnt fireworks.  I'm sure many people out there can relate, when it comes to Christmas, the 4th of July, or any other holiday.  This year we talked about the holiday with the kids before hand.

And even though the holiday is technically a serious one, and one that I feel connection to, I couldn't help laugh at some quirky parts of Mormon culture during the parade (one float, people dressed in all white, just felt a little, shall we say, awkward?).

Even though I'm Mormon, I have learned great respect for all viewpoints.  There are so many good people in this world, religious or not.  (we sat next to a work-friend at dinner the other night, and I didn't even clue in as to why he wasn't eating until my husband mentioned that he was fasting for Ramadan.  I have to tell you, I really respected him in that moment for the sacrifice he was making to live his beliefs.)  I have learned so much from my friends of all persuasions and appreciate the richness they have brought to my life and their contributions to the world!   What about you?

A parody blog, making fun of Mormon mom bloggers Here.  Mormon myths, funny - here.  A book about Joseph Smith, warts and all here.   Atlantic's Jell-O Love: Guide to Mormon Cuisine (very interesting) and how Mormon food is evolving, covered in the New York Times here.  And a Mormon librarian's humorous take on our cuisine, Relief Society cookbook style, here (prepare your gag reflexes).

Crater Lake

This was the last stop on our trip, Crater Lake.  It was so breathtakingly beautiful!  We were all tired by this time (9 days, a couple of them camping, and lots of driving), so we didn't spend much time.  But I'm so glad we stopped.

 My nice crooked teeth and camping hairdo are on full display, but love these other faces, huh? 

The water was so gorgeous! 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Famous Last Words

This has been a summer of famous last words!  The summer on steroids, at least part of it, is over.  Sniff.  Little girls off to school.

Here are some highlights of the week:

I was making a pie for my husband's birthday, which has become a tradition over the last few years after he revealed he isn't crazy about cake, when I got a little distracted for five minutes during a search for an ingredient.  When I returned, I found this.  This cute little boy who desperately needs a sand box, because he just does!  (He is so tempted by the kitty litter, too.  I have to have eyes like a hawk whenever he is anywhere near the garage.)

So, of course, I got out the camera, and my two enthusiastic helpers, and we joined in for a few minutes before shutting down the flour operation.  Cleaning up from the clean-up was an even bigger chore than the clean-up, if you know what I mean!  Ha.  That flour was spread to kingdom come, in little white footprints.  So cute, though, even if he filled his brand-new-yesterday shoes up with flour (they started out black, ha).

 This adorable. Face.  I'm in love.

 Sorry this is blurry.  He was just pleased as punch about the whole thing, if you know what I mean.

 Notice the circumference of the contamination zone spreading since photo number one.  A neighbor stopped by right as this was happening and I invited her in to have a good laugh!  She taught the kids how to write words in the flour with their fingers.  :)

 Birthday pie, a success.  Birthday boy, happy.

Aw, little girls off to school already?  What?  I'm trying to keep an open mind, here, hoping year round school will treat us well and make up for this short-summer inconvenience.  Gonna miss these faces, I tell you.

A couple more tidbits: the getting-the-baby-to-sleep-at-night thing is not working out.  Totally derailed on night number one when I took him back to his bed at he looked up at me through the dark, with little voice trembling, and said, "I'm scared."   How am I supposed to resist that?  The same thing has happened every night since.  And I just can't help it, but I just can't make him cry!  So I'm going to try a different tactic, maybe weaning him first?  See if that either gives me more energy or helps him sleep better?  All other goals are going just great, thank heavens-- something to balance out the epic night-training fail that didn't even last one night!

If you need travel advice or just a virtual vacation, check out my sister's travel blog here.  She has been everywhere, I tell you.  And she is really beautiful and smart, if I must say so myself.

A Little Adult ADD Bookshelf Sampler

This book was one of my favorites.  So apropos that there are a set of keys on the cover!  I can't tell you how many times I used to lose my keys and drive myself and everyone else crazy.  The author, Dr. Douglas Puryear, himself discovered he had ADD at age 60.  He had developed strategies throughout his life to help him get through medical school and life.  He writes in a very down-to-earth, readable, self deprecating (endearing), conversational style of his own challenges with ADD.  I found it to be therapeutic to read about someone else who had similar challenges to mine (such as lack of time awareness and losing things, for example).  And to see how much good he has done with his life and that he found a way to be successful in spite of his challenges.  Oh yes, and his ideas are awesome!  I found myself implementing some of them right away.  This book is a gem.  And even though I wrote about it first, this book is about strategies for dealing with ADD, so probably not the first book one should read.

These two books, Driven to and Delivered from Distraction, are both written by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, both of whom are MD's with ADHD (did I mention that my very favorite ADD books are written by ADD authors?).  I love the approach they take-- while warning of the perils of ignoring ADD (higher rates of addiction, divorce, incarceration, for example), the positive side of ADD is also explored-- creativity and the ability to think outside the box, for example.  And it is even posited that ADD should not be considered a "deficit" or a "disorder" but rather a "difference."  Out of the two the second is probably my favorite, and one of the best reads if you are only going to read one book on the subject.



This book, also written by two ADD authors, is also wonderful.  I mean, the title alone will speak right away to anyone out there who has suffered from ADD. I found myself relating in a unique way to the women who wrote it, and this was therapeutic in a way too.  There are some unique challenges women face with ADD (we are expected to be universalists, if we stay home, for example, and can't, say, specialize in something that we are good at).  My one complaint here might be how often they talked about ADD as a "disability."  But overall an awesome book.


I really enjoyed the suggestions in this book.  Would work for anyone, but it was especially helpful to see which organizing activities and strategies are more suited to the unique ADD brain, and which ones just don't work.


This is the best book I've read about how ADHD affects relationships.  A very interesting look at how, in some couples, the non-ADHD partner will often get worn out compensating for the scattered ways of an ADD partner.  For example, if the ADD partner means well but forgets or procrastinates paying the electric bill, then the other partner will either take on a parenting role to ensure they aren't living with the lights off, or will take on more and more responsibilities to cope with the ADD partner's behavior.  In the first case, increasing nagging and parenting behaviors will turn off the ADD spouse, who is doing his/her actual best and doesn't really know what to do differently (some research shows that they harder they try, the more they shut down).   If it's the former, the non-ADHD spouse can become overloaded and depressed trying to keep all of the balls in the air, while the ADD spouse is left feeling confused about the increasingly hostile behavior of his/her spouse (adding to years of accumulated shame).  In addition, communication, empathy, easily triggered anger and/or defensiveness, possible spotty work performance or tendency toward addictions,  and poor self-awareness (including a tendency to be inattentive toward a spouse, which can appear as uncaring) can be challenges for the ADD partner, all of which are bad for any relationship.  A very interesting read about how to seek treatment, draw new boundary lines to eliminate the nagging and other negative effects on both partners.  Melissa Orlov also has a blog she shares with expert Ed Hallowell.


Even though this book is less personal (in some ways) than many of the books I've mentioned above, this is probably the gold standard when it comes to the most recent, science-based look at ADHD, pioneering the field.  If you are to read only one book, let this be it.   Dr. Amen, who practices in California and became interested in ADD when he could not get control of his own children (even though he was a therapist), practices a unique method to understanding the actual biological effects of ADD and the brain.  He does SPECT brain scans on his patients to understand each person's unique brain.  Pictured in his book are scans that show an ADD patient's brain at rest and during concentration, showing the actual prefrontal cortex slowing down when forced to concentrate.  Not only that, but he has identified 6 ADD sub-types rather than the usual three.  One reason his work is so revolutionary is he reveals why the typical medications may not work for every brain thrown into the ADD bucket (incidentally, one of those brains belongs to one of my children), but would actually make those select few worse (they need something to calm their brain rather than stimulate it).  Amen discusses a rounded approach to treatment, such as diet, exercise, over the counter supplements for those who can't or won't do medication, and neurofeedback.  He also has chapters on how ADD affects relationships and families (some with ADD are driven toward conflict, because it stimulates their brain, so they may seek to push their parents or spouse's buttons, for example, without even really knowing why).  If there was to be an ADD bible, this would be it, though it sadly leaves out some of the gifts that Hallowell talks about (though Amen's style is not condescending or judgmental in any way).

If you, a loved one or family member, struggle with ADD, I would highly recommend picking up just one, any one book on ADD.  I was amazed at the power that came through information.  I understood myself and others better.  I instantly made some changes in my life, things that I always wondered why they could work for everyone else but not for me.  There is some self acceptance, some understanding of life's challenges, that comes with learning about these things  And if you have a loved one with ADD, understanding is essential to healing both your loved one and yourself if you've experienced any collateral damage!  Honestly, I look at the world in a different light now that I understand ADD better.  I wonder about all the unnecessary suffering out there, people who feel guilty or just plain frustrated and don't realize that on the other side of the wall lies a treasure chest of tools just waiting to help them.  As Melissa Orlov put it, we don't need to just try harder, as we have so often been told, we need to try "differently."  And then we can begin to unlock the potential in the gifts of ADD.

In the near future I will do a post about the books I've read about parenting an ADD child (though Amen's book is a great start!).

San Fran Part 2

(These photos are all mixed up from the two and a bit days we were in San Francisco.)   I read about Ferry Building Marketplace in a travel book, had never heard of it before.  But it was impressive.  Very beautifully done and the food was gorgeous.  If it had been my husband and I, it would have been fun to browse the beautiful artisan shops and taste some fine(r) food.  But after making a quick scouting tour through on my own while my husband and kids were in the car, I decided that taking five kiddos through probably wouldn't make for a very pleasant time.  Too expensive to get something for everyone, hard to keep little fingers from touching, and probably not something the younger kids would be too keen on anyway.  So we decided to save for next time.  But I can see why it was so highly recommended in the travel books....for adults.

Cheese!  One of my big weaknesses.

We went for a little stroll in Golden Gate Park.  That place is huge.  This was a very lovely walk.

 We visited the Palace of...I can't remember.  I can only think of it as the "Nadia, I am coming" place.  It was also quite beautiful in the early morning light.  Not in the guidebook, but I was glad we stopped.  The kids enjoyed it too.

Have an absolutely fabulous weekend!  I will be around more next week (famous last words).  Can't wait!  As for goals, some mixed results to report.  First, I have been trying to be more playful with the kids.  This has been so delightful!  It hasn't been hard at all, when I remember to do it :), and has helped to lighten up some otherwise heavier moments, such as when a child is hurt (I taught her the "owie dance" by jumping all around while saying "ow, ow ow!" and her tears instantly evaporated into giggles).  And when the little boy is clinging to me at times when, say he is hungry and I'm trying to get dinner made, if I make a joke out of something, it distracts him in a pleasant way and reduces the immediate tension (and I feel good because I am helping him laugh!).  And it has been SO fun to hear those delighted baby belly laughs.  I have just loved this, it has been a favorite of the project so far.  Seems to me that having a laugh each day should be just as important as getting three square meals, what do you think?  And being silly lightens me up too.

On another front, I decided my health goals were too broad and overwhelming, so I'm just going to pick one at a time!  I'm going to work on getting the littlest one to sleep through the night, as getting good sleep seems to affect everything else.